The final step

I finally did it.

My first post on this site was almost four years ago. At the time, I asked the central question for my Taken in Hand relationship with my wife: "How can I be sure that she wants to be taken in hand in light of the fact that she won't say it?".

Well, the answer to that question is that I could only know by taking small steps over a long period, and verifying at each step that our relationship was still strong (not by asking her directly, but by watching and listening in general).

Others may find it easy to move more swiftly, but I did not. And in our case, time is relative. We had been married for twenty-two (now twenty-six) years, so taking four years to do things right wasn't all that unreasonable.

All along the way, she kept saying "no". She continually resisted - and yet, she told me at some point after each step that she loved me, that I had done the right thing.

And she complained louder when I didn't.

For her, the point was that I not take "no" for an answer - that I lead without her telling me what to do.

Today (Thursday) was a milestone for us. For the first time, I punished her with a hard spanking, beyond her breaking point.

Before today, I had lightly spanked her many times as a playful thing. I had also spanked her several times to the point of her saying "no".

I had even spanked her in anger occasionally ("occasionally" meaning, twice in four years).

What I had not done, before today, was to spank her to the point of breaking her - to the point of submission - to the point of obedience. I had also never spanked her in order to gain her compliance with something that she did not want to do.

Most of the time over the past four years, she has obeyed me when I have told her to do something that she didn't want to do. And on the few occasions when she steadfastly refused, I acquiesced. I previously wasn't ready to compel her, if compelling her required me to spank her.

Today, I was ready. My discussions with you on this site were a big part of the reason. In addition, I had taken all of those small steps over time, and she had confirmed to me that she loved me and that I was doing what she needed - even if she could not admit that she wanted it.

The other thing - the tipping point that made it possible for me to take the last step - was that I needed her to do something for me. I've been going through a rough time in my career lately and I need her unqualified emotional support. Right now, I need her to give me more than she is usually willing to give.

This morning, when I told her what I needed (no, not what you might expect, something else) she stalled. She distracted me. She said "It's 6am, I can't do that right now." Of course, she's been saying the same thing at all times of the day, and I reminded her of that.

We argued. Eventually, she said, "What really bugs me is that you argue with me and take so long at it. If you would just get it over with, I could deal with it!" And yet, she still refused.

What I needed from her was something that I could not "force" on her. I needed her active participation. Normally, I would scold her, she would cry, we would make up, and then she would comply. But this time, I took the final step.

I ordered her to turn over, face down. She did, without resistance. That surprised me, since she clearly knew what I was about to do.

I told her to give me her opposite hand under the pillow above her head. She did, hesitating only a moment. I held it firm.

I spanked her, hard, with my bare hand on her bare skin.

For a while, she took it, probably thinking (hoping) that it would be over quickly.

After a while, she squirmed and resisted. I restrained her with my body and continued to spank as hard as I could.

When I didn't yet have her compliance, I moved down to her legs and spanked them too.

She cried out. She used our old "safe word". I kept going.

A few spanks later, she bucked and twisted and yelled, "That's enough! I can't take anymore! I can't take this right now!"

I kept going.

She broke down and cried and resisted as hard as she could.

I kept going.

She went past "that point" and lost all emotional control, bawling like a little girl.

I kept going, a bit more, to punish her for her resistance and disobedience. I made sure that it hurt more than enough, more than just a "fair trade". I made sure that she knew that the spanking would end only when I decided to end it.

Then I stopped.

She turned away from me. I put my arms around her, holding her. She didn't try to leave. In fact, she snuggled into me.

After less than a minute of intense crying, she calmed down a little and I told her to turn back to me, which she did. I asked her, "Do you love me?"

She said, "Of course I do."

I asked, "Do you forgive me?"

She said, "I will after a while."

I pressed, "Do you forgive me right now?"

The last little bit of resistance passed from her. She smiled and begrudgingly admitted that she didn't need to forgive me, that I had done the right thing, that she felt good about it.

She cried for a while longer and then gave me what I needed, fully and without reservation. I then told her to call in sick and spend the day with me, which she did.

We made love. The whole time, I made her express how she felt about being taken in hand (not with those words, she does not know about this website). I reminded her that I am stronger - both physically and emotionally - than she is. In short, I "rubbed it in". That seemed to excite her more than anything else.

I pleasured her until she embarrassed herself, screaming the way she absolutely hates to scream - and I took pleasure in doing it to her. I also took my usual pleasure from taking her.

Afterward, I told her that I now, finally, understand.

From now on, I think I will be able to spank her when she needs to be spanked. I'll see to it that she occasionally regrets ever "asking" me to Take her in Hand, but I know full well that those regrets will be fleeting.

As I told her just before I came downstairs to write this, things are going to be different from now on.

I still do not accept that a husband has a right to do this to his wife. But I do accept that it is what she wants and needs. And I am beginning to accept that I really am allowed to enjoy it.

There is no greater pleasure in this world than what I experienced this morning.

Thank you - all of you - for helping me find my way to this wonderful place.

CarlF

2008 Jan 20 - 10:25 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

cat out of the bag?

Greetings CarlF

This is my first time responding to what I had read. Can't resist...

CarlF Wrote:
We made love. The whole time, I made her express how she felt about being taken in hand (not with those words, she does not know about this website). I reminded her that I am stronger - both physically and emotionally - than she is. In short, I "rubbed it in". That seemed to excite her more than anything else.

~~~~ gail writes to CarlF ~~~~

Sweet! I say you have come along way with Taken in Hand, Carl. But I am wondering just how much more your relationship with your wife could improve and prove to be the very best thing if you would consider....

"Letting the Cat completely out of the bag!" See, perhaps by turning your wife on to this website Taken in Hand, too, could also benefit your wife personal experience, as it has your? Which in turn could be the best thing in both your lives together.

Besides maybe then you would be the one regretting she ever learnt of the awesome website http://www.takeninhand.com/

I am so much wanting my husband to take me in hand too! I am kinky woman one who would very much like to hear the "backside" of your Wife tale too!!!

And no I say I do not want to be spanked, but I do really want to be Taken in Hand. I do not think the actual spanking is the point of being taken in hand. I have read so many wonderful stories on this website, I have shed many tears of release and joy for other very lucky woman!

Congratulations, to you and your wife. Taken in Hand gives me hope.

by gail on 2008 Jan 21 - 08:04 | reply to this comment

Very good

Good for you and very well written. I think that's how it has to be for women made like this, that it goes beyond fun and hurts enough that you're reminded of where you want to be.

Very curious as to what this thing is that you need that isn't sex...

(Not sure I would ever approve of anyone calling in sick when they aren't sick however.... but that's a minor detail)

by Hera on 2008 Jan 21 - 20:59 | reply to this comment

The secrets behind the magic.

I am wondering just how much more your relationship with your wife could improve and prove to be the very best thing if you would consider....

"Letting the Cat completely out of the bag!" See, perhaps by turning your wife on to this website Taken in Hand, too, could also benefit your wife personal experience, as it has your? Which in turn could be the best thing in both your lives together.

I told her a couple of years ago that I have been talking to some people on some website somewhere under an assumed name about her and about how she feels. She knows that I am both giving and receiving support.

I told her about it once and she does not want to know more.

In fact, she would like to know as little as possible about the "magic" behind what I do to make her happy. Occasionally she will see something on TV or see people interacting and ask me, "Do you do that to me?" but she very quickly shakes her head and says. "I don't want to know."

If she wanted to, she could spend twenty seconds looking at my Internet Explorer "Favorites" list and find this website. She would recognize "CarlF" as my pseudonym in an instant. I have also made no attempt to disguise my writing style (at least, not from her).

But she won't do that. She already complains that I talk too much about it and that she just doesn't want to know.

Life would be much easier for me if she would have been willing to visit this site four years ago and say "that's what I'm looking for". It would be easier but much less interesting.

Besides maybe then you would be the one regretting she ever learnt of the awesome website
Only because it would take the mystery out of it for her and ruin the fun for her.
I say I do not want to be spanked, but I do really want to be Taken in Hand. I do not think the actual spanking is the point of being taken in hand.
That's quite true. It is one possible means toward an end. For us, it is a small but essential element. Essential, because without it, the experience would be fraudulent for my wife.

There is no reason why any Taken in Hand woman needs to be spanked, unless either she or her husband has that need in themselves.

Congratulations, to you and your wife. Taken in Hand gives me hope.
Thank you.

by CarlF on 2008 Jan 22 - 12:13 | reply to this comment

That was an amazingly well wr

That was an amazingly well written account! Thanks for letting those of us taking it slowly that we're not alone and it's totally worth it in the end. I found this post to be very romantic in an odd way.

by Katie H on 2008 Jan 24 - 03:47 | reply to this comment

Thank you, CarlF

For sharing this incredibly erotic (if long awaited, on your part) anecdote! I am thrilled to see other happy Taken In Hand couples, getting the most out of their relationships. To be honest, I am always happy to see ANY couple getting the most out of their relationships - but the Taken In Hand ones are, of course, closest to my heart. I wish you both all the best, in the years to come. Congratulations on your wonderful breakthrough!
~smiles~
kitten

by His kitten on 2008 Jan 24 - 18:05 | reply to this comment

Those "small steps".

Carl, for us newbies to this, can you explain some of the "small steps" over time that you took to know that your wife wanted to be taken in hand? Can you point us to a few articles on here that you got the most practical ideas and helpful information from?

Thanks
Brian

by Brian on 2008 Feb 1 - 22:09 | reply to this comment

Interesting article

Interesting article. What were those small steps? I'd like to hear more.

by Bill on 2008 Jul 27 - 05:48 | reply to this comment

The Crux

CarlF

For me, the essence of your post is the crux of the entire matter.

As far as I can tell, there is no guiding principle that indicates when you can listen to the words of a woman and truly believe them within the current context, literally and when you can't.

My relationship is not currently a Taken In Hand one but I believe both my partner and I would be very much happier in one, but she would never openly say that.

I can only judge by examining the actions afterwards. This would imply then that what I talk about in the relationship to her doesn't really matter, only what my actions are. My actions are generally dictated by my fundamental beliefs and so you could say that it is my fundamental, underlying belief system (which compels me to action) that determines her attraction, love, commitment and subsequent submission to me. The more my personal belief system deviates from the one that her internal guidance system 'requires or seeks out', the less attraction, love, commitment and submission I will receive from her.

I am proceeding to 'make' our relationship a Taken In Hand one, any other relationship is not for me. If at any point she wants out she is free to leave, if she only says the words though I will not believe it. ;-)

by Gilden on 2008 Jul 30 - 17:40 | reply to this comment

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