Edwina,

It was the same exact way for my fiancé and me. Although our Taken In Hand relationship was a bit rocky in the start it has really blossomed into to something beautiful.

It’s wonderful to not have to worry about sex anymore. When he wants it he wants it and I lie back and he takes it. Sometimes even when I genuinely not in the mood he still takes it and afterwards I’m glad he did.

The way you said he smacks your butt when he walks by and pulls you in for kisses is exactly what my life is like now. I’m so content and just plain old happy all the time. I feel compelled to tell him all the time how wonderful he is and he tells me he loves me when I’m not expecting it.

Our relationship has changed so dramatically from where we were a year ago. I have nothing but TakenInHand to thank for that. We are always noticing other couples and how unhappy and disrespectful they are to one another. It makes us sad for them but happy that we found what works for us.

I’ve noticed that we take a lot more time for the two of us. Instead of spending the whole weekend running around doing chores, visiting friends and family we now spend time together. Making love, sleeping in, making breakfast together, and cuddling on the couch to watch a flick.

We used to fight about housework the most in our relationship. I think it was my fault because I always wanted everything to split down the middle. After reading articles on this site I know now that nothing is ever truly split down the middle. It can’t be and trying to make it so will drive you crazy. So, I’ve stopped expecting him to “do his share” of the chores around the house. I just do what I can in the time I have and I’ve noticed that he always stepping up and helping more then he ever did before. For example, I was scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees the other day and I guess he noticed that my arms were tired and my scrub wasn’t so scrubby anymore and he told me to stop and he’d take over with some fresh arms for a bit. He ended up finishing the whole floor for me while I went and started dinner. It was very helpful.

I mean the list of positive changes is endless. Sex on tap, fewer worries about our finances because he is head of the house, no more emotional outbursts from me because he keeps with his maintenance spankings, more kind words and feelings are shared between us, more hugs and kisses. I could go on and on.

Another thing, we went to a bar last weekend and my fiancé was sitting next to me rubbing my arm and it was just this little gesture that was telling me he wanted me and was going to take me when we got home. I kind of giggled and looked him in the eyes. I kissed him then turned back to the conversation with our friends. One of my girlfriends was watching us and she and my fiancé looked at one another and she blushed, he said. Later on she asked me how he and I have stayed so in love after so many years. She asked how often we have sex and if I still want it like I did when we first met. We got interrupted so I didn’t get to introduce her to Taken In Hand. I wish I had, because she and her husband aren’t doing so well. Her husband has approached my fiancé many times for relationship advice. I think it would benefit them immensely to be introduced to the website. Maybe next time they visit I’ll sit them down in front of the computer and show them the site and just give them private time to glance at it.

Well, that’s all I really wanted to say was that I know how you feel because I feel the same way.

Good luck to you and your husband,

LoveMyPugs

I personally would be very embarrassed if anyone asked me a question like this, for one thing I can't imagine ever telling anyone about Taken In Hand in cold blood as it were, and for another thing, although things are better between my husband and I now, they are by no means as idyllic as all that, and we still have words quite frequently. I don't think anyone would ever be under the illusion that we were blissfully happy all the time.

As for sitting someone down and showing them this site, crikey no, I'd expect them to think I was nuts. You could try it I suppose but it would be a bit of a gamble. They might like it, or they might just think you were barmy, who knows?

I think you should make yourself a bit less ostentatiously happy, you don't want to attract too much attention to yourselves. If you can't manage any real disagreements, try having a fake one now and again. It will make your friends feel better to think that you have the occasional spat and aren't in a state of idyllic happiness all the time. Jealousy is not something you want to attract, it's not a healthy emotion.

Louise

I'm sorry -- WHAT? "make yourself a bit less ostentatiously happy"? Louise please tell me you're joking. A truly happy and deeply connected married couple displaying affection appropriately in public should be considered a "good example" rather than "ostentatious".

I think that I would much rather just deal with the questions that would result from acting like that, then not only coming up with something to yell about, but keeping straight what all of the fake fights were about. I do not think I am that good of an actor anyway.

for one thing I can't imagine ever telling anyone about Taken In Hand in cold blood as it were

I'm laughing as I consider this...it took me a couple of years just to work up the nerve to mention it to my husband! The thought of telling a friend...hahaha. "Jane, dear, you and Ralph seem rather tense at times. Have you considered becoming kinky? George and I have, and I must tell you, I'm never tense now. Surely you've noticed my contented sighs and soft simperings? I owe it all to the kink, Jane. I simply insist that you try it."

Really, to me it's very private. I have spoken to girlfriends about changes I've been making, but that's been more along the lines of talking about how I've softened my attitude and worked to become less dominant myself, more open and vulnerable.

Which is true, and which, honestly, are the more significant changes, I think. Things like sex on demand follow from the attitude shift. From putting us back in our more comfortable roles (him dominant, me feminine).

Edwina

Since we married I have always let my husband have sex whenever he wants: he is totally in charge, I find this takes the pressure off us as in previous relationships it has sometimes been hard to read each others minds regarding sex and has led to feeling of rejection. I agreed to a DD relationship before marriage as this is something my husband wanted. He explained it to me so I was not completely in the dark when we married, and I find that this works very well for our marriage. Sometimes, even though I don't really want sex initially, by the end of it I have always felt satisfied and loved. I think that when the strong sexual urge of men like my husband gets satisfied rather than going unsatisfied, it leads to a more loving relationship which is more what the I as a woman desire.

Well, if people started asking me what the secret of my happiness was (not that anyone is likely to) I would be acutely embarrassed, and my natural reaction would be to be more cautious about appearing too happy in front of other people, because I simply do not want to attract that kind of attention.

I really could not care less whether it is wrong or not, I simply do not want to be an object of curiosity, nor do I want to be asked embarrassing questions.

Louise