Good things come to he who waits
Gary and I have been discovering some pretty intense feelings along the lines of sexuality. To start from the beginning (uhoh..a Gary/Blush story coming here) when Gary met me, he found out that I had no idea of how to receive. I thought everything came with a price, including sex or sexual related things. If Gary even stroked me gently, I tried to do something equally nice back to him. For the first couple of years, it was one of his rules that all I was allowed to do was accept. And it was hard for me to do that! That's why it was a rule, not a suggestion. And I fell in love with accepting. The way he stroked my neck, my back, the top of my arms across the restaurant table. The way he gently pulled my hair in the car, often hypnotizing me and having drugged sleeps. And during our evening transition, I had to sit beside him, or lay on top of him, and he stroked any part of me that was exposed. How many times, as time went on, did I finally take off my clothes because I just couldn't bear the thought of getting ripped off and not feeling his touch on my skin. If he touched me through clothes, I thought I was losing out!
What Gary did was put his entire needs on hold. He was determined to put all energy into me. He felt that if he did that, then he would feed off my desires. And in fact, that is how he found out just how excited I become during spanking. I don't like being a bad girl, or being spanked for it. But I like being owned, and being spanked for that! And my reactions to him were charged. I moaned, and writhed and just clung to that man. I pleaded for him to touch me, to dominate me to “do things to me Gary,” was something he heard often enough. And he learned.
He watched, he studied and he learned everything there is to know about what I like, what I don't like, what scares me, what I hate, what I tolerate, and what I can't stop to save my life. Many times he put into what he called a “sex sleep”. And that may be only an hour or two of waking, and a cup of coffee or two. But as time went on, I began to be more bold in exploring Gary. I soon looked and found by accident his weak spots. And I would never forget each time I hit a place that got a reaction. When my nails would gently scrape over his back, and down farther, until he moaned and put his face in the pillows. When I would take my nails and run them up and down his sensitive shins. And when I would rub his feet, his eyes would glaze over, until he gathered enough strength to make me stop. But mostly, when I use my mouth on his sex. That is the punch line. Gary actually loses touch with reality. He can't control anything after I am finished, or he is finished, whatever way you want to look at it. But what I do is feel his drugged state, and I crawl in with him, usually roll onto my side, with his arm under my neck, and I sleep with him, enjoying his state of ‘floating’. So we were talking about this ‘feeling’ of the other persons state of arousal. And Gary had a suggestion.
He feels that if every dominant, good dominant, put his own needs on hold for a period of say three months. And get a feel, a good look, and experience everything she does, then he will have knowledge that will last him forever. He says the payback is phenomenal. He says I am so tuned into him as a result, that I now know all his weak spots. And I don't use them relentlessly, only when I think he needs to feel what I am. It is quite a heady feeling to give your own needs away, to feel only what your partner does. And what you get in return... not because you expect it, but because that is just what happens. Not as hard as you think.
Have you seen the following articles?
Happy living in fear of a man?!
BDSM rituals and rule-bound relationships
Our new beginning
Why men start and why they stop
Acts of love
Is she afraid of losing control? Topping from the bottom?
An etiquette in the relationship
Have you captured her mind?
Alternative therapy
Dealing with a man who doesn't do as he's told
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