The appeal of a very feminine woman

Very feminine women – both in looks and in nature – really turn me on. I love a woman who oozes femininity in her manner, the way she looks at me, the way she moves, the way she talks. I love the way a feminine woman will look up at me from under her eyelashes with an innocent, softly submissive, shy, blushing expression.

I love a woman who makes the effort to dress femininely. It doesn't have to be skirts all the time – jeans can be feminine too, as anyone who enjoys spanking a nice bottom will tell you. But I love stockings and nice underwear – well I'm a man, what can I say?!

To know that my girlfriend, J, bears in mind what I like when she chooses how to dress really makes me feel good. I don't lay down rules about dress, but J does wear clothes she knows I will like, and I find that pleasing and even erotic. She does it for me, because she loves me and she's mine. How could any man not enjoy that?

Random

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Have you seen the following articles?
She wants to be taken in hand against her will?!
The sexuality of ‘non-sexual’ dominance
White hot intensity and boundless joy
I want it all, and I want it now!
What I get out of it
What Taken In Hand is, and what it is not
My husband's calm control makes me feel submissive
What the woman gets out of it
Moving into a Taken In Hand relationship
Can you be Taken In Hand if you're not submissive?

I feel the same as you

We're after the same women, Random. At a party, I'll always want to flirt with the quietest, shyest, most apparently submissive and girly woman there, the one that strikes me as most feminine.

Reading lots of the comments on this site by women, it's obvious that a certain type of masculine personality has a lot of appeal for them - and I think what we're feeling is just the sexual opposite of that. Just as they have a powerful drive to be with a strong, dominant man, I have a strong desire, need, even, to be with a submissive, feminine woman who will bring out all my dominance.

i am a female who men think

i am a female who men think would try to be dominant, but alas I am the one who wants to be submissive and pines for it. I never get any takers:(

I merely agree

I merely agree, but just to a point. What I really like about my girl, is how she is becoming feminine when I take her in hand. She gets quiet, delighted, and she tells me she feels safe. At a regulary basis, I doubt many people would call her feminine, but when I make her submit, she is wery feminine, and so wery mine!

How can i

my question is... how to appear and become more feminine... im more tom-boyish and its not real suiting... i have tried to find books and things that could help but they dont seem to exist... please help..

Appearing more feminine

I'm not sure whether it's a good thing to change the way you are. I was always slightly tomobyish in that I nearly always wore jeans when I was young, and never bothered much with very feminine clothing. I did have long hair though and men did seem to go for that in a big way. If you have short hair you could try growing it a bit perhaps, and I suppose if you habitually wear jeans you could try wearing dresses, though that could mean you will get stuck with a man who expects you to wear them all the time, which could be tiresome if you don't care for them.

In 'Getting to I Do' Dr Pat Allen suggests that if you want to attract a 'masculine energy' man, you should never make the first move, always let him be the one to chat you up, and never ask for his phone number always let him ask for yours. Let him call you. I never used to make the first move anyway, though in my case that was more shyness than a deliberate strategy.

I don't think you should try to change yourself too much though, if you have tastes and interests that are not conventionally feminine I don't think you should abandon them, "to thine own self be true", you know.

The Husband spanking/punishing His female

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. My woman is always very submissive and just perfectly 100% feminine and when I take her in hand, otk, and punish her, her submissivness is even more pronounced. RICHARD

feminine appeal

I find the men's comments very enlightening. I too feel like I am a strong and independent women. But when I am around the love of my life I get all giddy and silly even awkward. I do things that I don't do in in any other situation. It mystifies me because there is not one other person that has ever made me feel this way.

Giddy and silly

Ah, so that is what 'feminine' means, giddy and silly and awkward. Ive always wondered!

Louise

Feminine

Read, Fascinating Womanhood or The Fascinating Girl, by Helen Andelin. They are books that are good for teaching feminity.

being feminine

Read "Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen Andolin. It is my Bible. The changes in dynamics betwen myself and my lover, are everything I have ever wanted, love, devotion, happiness. I have become a demure, submissive, feminine woman, who accepts and adores her man, and he beams. Good luck.

Femininity

Tamed-cattle is being mistaken for femininity.

Femininity

Lilly, I so agree. Seems as though we have a limited definition of femininity here. Surely a "feminine" woman doesn't have to be childlike and docile. Surely passion, wit, glamor, confidence are also feminine? And isn't the willing surrender of such a woman all the more delicious?

Childlike and docile

Well, the picture of the childlike, docile woman doesn't appeal to me either, and I certainly don't believe that wit, passion, glamorour and confidence are unfeminine qualities.

With reference to Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen Andelin, though, I have to give Mrs Andelin her due and say that she does not recommend that a woman show no spirit. She recommends chidlikeness, but does not seem to believe that a woman should be totally docile. The way she recommends a woman respond to a man when she is annoyed with him about something is not a method I could ever imagine adopting myself, but at least she doesn't suggest that a woman be a total pushover.

Louise

Re: The Husband spanking/punishing his female

If she is always very submissive and 100% perfectly 'feminine', then whatever do you have reason to punish her for?

Louise

Since being TIH I feel more feminine

Since being Taken In Hand I feel more feminine. I used to think I needed to be strong and in control. Now that I'm learning to trust my man and he is taking charge I feel like something in me is relaxing and I can be myself-and that is manisfesting as femininity. I am softening and it's showing in my expressions and clothes. It's very strange since I worked so hard my whole life to be in control, to be in charge. But I notice men looking at me more-something that hasn't happended since my college days so I know I'm changing both in and out. And I love my husband's strength. It's very sexy and it makes me feel sexy.

What I wouldn't give...

Ah, what I wouldn't give to have my strong man take total control in the bedroom. It's been a dream of mine for many years. Dressing in a specific way though, doesn't exactly appeal to me... But if it were to please my man then it would make me want to dress whatever way makes him look at me with those eyes that say your mine and I want you.

The key here I think would be to let your lady know what you like but expecting a woman to read your mind and dress special for you without knowng what you like that's totally another topic. Guys - tell her.

How I would love to hear those words said to me.

Confusion

There seems to be some confusion about this post. He seems to be saying that he likes her to dress a certain way. He does not demand it, and he doesn't even ask for it, but he enjoys it when she does

Being feminine is NOT being silly, giggling, and otherwise being a fool. Think about the coy look from lowered eyes. Very feminine and very hot.

If women can enjoy "the voice of command", why cant men enjoy "the look of submission"?

Confusions

As far as I am aware, nobody is confused about Random's post. What some of us find objectionable (me for instance) is the notion that there is some fixed way you must behave in order to be considered 'feminine'. One person asked if there were any books she could read to teach her to be more 'feminine' which I personally find terribly sad.

I think people should be themselves, and if they're not 'feminine' enough for certain men, then there will be plenty of other men who will be quite happy with the way they are. What I dislike intensely are appalling books like 'Fascinating Womanhood' which offers a fixed set of rules for how you must behave if you want to qualify as 'feminine'.

Louise

Response to Louise

I agree completely. One should not change their core for anyone. And I suspect because the definition of feminime is different for each person, you are best finding the person with whom your definition matches best & be with that person (if being feminine is important to you both).

For me, I don't like frilly clothes or have a home with lots of frilly things. I am a successful business woman and dress in clothes that reflect a respect for myself and others. That being said, when I am with my husband he often likes me to wear certain things that he finds 'sexy' (& perhaps feminine - although I've never asked) - but NONE of this things would be classified as 'frilly or girly-girl' clothes. Based upon his reaction to my dress, I suppose he finds me feminine enough.

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