My name is Dóra, I am 27, Jozsef is 28 and my husband; we have a 5 year old daughter, Katarína. We live in Hungary and have always known each other because we come from the same little village.
I grew up in a family with very traditional values and though my parents always obviously loved each other very dearly there was never any doubt that my father was the head of the family. If my father ever disciplined my mother I do not know, but I am certain that if he decided to do so my mother would submit and not argue.
I do not believe that a marriage can be happy and serve its purpose if the spouses are equal; naturally husband and wife each have different roles, responsibilities and duties. The husband is the head of the wife and by accepting that he also accepts duties and great responsibilities and the wife therefore naturally owes him to be supportive, loyal, respectful and obedient.
Among the husband's duties is to guide and if needed correct and discipline the wife. I believe that a good wife should always with appreciation accept guidance, correction, and discipline from her loving and caring husband as a help to become a better, more successful and happier wife and mother.
From when we were pre-teens I have loved my Jozsef and as we grew up and became more mature I also learned to respect him. Though I by nature am a stubborn and pigheaded person I never questioned that I, as Jozsef's wife, owed him the same respect and obedience as I earlier owed my parents.
It was never discussed or even mentioned between us, but I always took it for granted that my husband Jozsef would not hesitate to correct and discipline me whenever it was needed. The first time it happened was ten days after the wedding and I could not sit comfortably the next several days, but the soreness was a constantly felt proof that Jozsef loved and cared enough to discipline me as necessary and it just made the happiness of finally being his wife so much more intense.
After that first time Jozsef has disciplined me many times. He uses his belt and he also keeps a a rattan cane and a heavy leather strap (cut out of some old harness) hanging on the inside of the closet door in our bedroom. Several times every day I see those tools of correction and am reminded what happens if I am not a good and dutiful wife.
Corrections are not regular but depend on my behaviour. Two and a half months is the longest period of time I ever went without needing to be disciplined, but 3-5 weeks is more usual and I have noticed that PMS increases the risk of being disrespectful and disobedient, and also that when I have been good for a relatively long time then I often need to be corrected 2 to 4 times within the next couple of weeks.
The spankings I get are not in any way part of our sex life. Jozsef is a very gentle and loving and caring husband, but also very consistent in his demands and certainly not lenient when he punishes. I really fear being spanked and I try to learn from every correction, but I know that every spanking I get is given out of love and care and meant to be a help, and it gives me a wonderful feeling of being safe and secure with Jozsef in control and keeping me in line. Even in my most rebellious periods, when I am spanked severely twice in a week, it makes me even more intent on being a good and dutiful wife, and though my bottom is sore am I content and happy. Being disciplined is like a fertilizer that makes my respect and love for my husband grow.
It is possible that being spanked would have the opposite effect on me if Jozsef abused his right to discipline me, but he is too good a man to do that and every time he has disciplined me it has been fair and well deserved, so I have no reason to complain.
One thing more makes me feel that the spankings I receive are good for me: being a good catholic I am very much aware of my guilty feelings and accepting to be spanked for my misbehaviour is a good way of doing penance.
Many people know that I respect and obey Jozsef as the head of our little family; I am not ashamed of it and I do nothing to hide the fact that Jozsef is in control a is an authority figure in my life. Several people also know that I am subject to discipline from Jozsef: My mother (and I am sure she has told my father), my sister, my parents and sister-in-law, a couple of good friends, our family doctor, and our priest.