Superficially non-consensual but deeply consensual
People need to think of time-frames before they simplistically equate ”non-consent” in some form with “abuse”. My wife consents to DD in her long-term, wisest, mind. Since DD sometimes involves me dominating her, forcing her to behave differently than she wishes at the time and/or punishing her when she is utterly opposed to the idea, DD is not always fully consensual in the short-term. Overall, despite some short-term regrets and struggles, in the long-term she really values and appreciates my dominance and disciplinary care.
DD which the recipient could wriggle out of at any time would be a sham.
Likewise most people who, in the fullest sense, “like” being spanked wouldn't be very interested in it if at the time of the spanking they were not suffering pain and regret or if their pleas to stop it were heeded.
Likewise a roller-coaster, which is long-term consensual but short-term non-consensual. Good roller coasters and good DD are very safe and have all sorts of unique benefits which arise directly from their forceful, safe, exciting and/or beneficial short-term domination.
Have you seen the following articles?
The Taming of the Shrew
The carrot or the stick?
Surrendered in love
The resistant woman
Women who take responsibility for their own actions
Happy living in fear of a man?!
Have you found a proper balance?
Men serve and lead, women receive and obey
What easy-to-say word gives every lover pleasure?
Can you be Taken In Hand if you're not submissive?
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Comments
#1 I love roller-coasters!
I love my relationship and I love that roller-coaster Mr Fondman describes. I NEED that roller-coaster in my relationship, and I worship my man for taking me in hand against my will. I don't WANT him to stop when I'm screaming for him to stop. I NEED him to NOT BACK DOWN. I need him to actually be in control, not just pretend to be in control. And yes, if he wants to CORRECT me and PUNISH me, I want him to do that. I feel adoration for him that he dares to 'abuse' me. It's not abuse, it's a gift, and one I'll always be thankful for.
#2 Consent and abuse
I think it depends on the individual couple. For me, it is essential that I am in a mood of acceptance when I am spanked. The feeling of voluntarily submitting is intensely pleasurable to me. If my husband was to grab me and forcibly spank me when I was resisting him this would only make me more upset, it would not have a calming or a beneficial effect on me. When I'm upset or agitated, I need my husband to calm me down, which he can do without laying a finger on me. I need to be brought to submission before I am beaten.
This is also important to my husband too: he needs to be quite clear that I am consenting to being spanked. Struggling, wriggling, screaming, begging for mercy he can cope with, and takes no notice of, but occasionally I slither off his knee and sit on the floor, whimpering. when this happens he just says "Get back here instantly" and I do. However, when I asked him if, when he told me to get back there, and I said I couldn't take any more, would he force me, he replied decisively, "No, because that would be crossing the line from mutual consent into abuse".
This was a relief to me, because it cleared up any uncertainty in my mind about what my husband considered to be 'consent'. I was relieved to find that his view of it was the same as mine. This does not, as far as I am concerned, make our relationship a sham. It simply means that, if my husband wants to spank me, he can make me submit to it without brute force, which for me is a much more satisfying experience both emotionally and physically.
Louise
#3 Continous consent
When I've been in a D/S relationship I've always given continuous consent. Obviously one hopes someone will exercise some consideration as to time and place and mood and if they love you they usually do. I'm not really into punishment, except as play so if I'm ever spanked it's because he (when there is a he) feels like it for his pleasure when it suits him.
#4 Implied Consent
There is a implied consent that may actually go beyond marriage and extend to the interaction of the genes when a woman finds a man she believes able to handle her.
Women do test. There are tests of love, fidelity, as well as determination. Women love men able to pass their tests and despise those unable to pass them.