Saved by the spank
My friends used to say that I should never let a man have the last say that he would change me and that I'd lose me.
My husband is a good man. Kind hearted with a more than slight sexual appetite. I did have issues with sex and used to withhold it. Relationships seemed so heavy and I felt I lost myself in them. We used to fight a lot and I would never back down. Not wanting to lose me, my husband would try to reason with me, but became angry. Eventually I felt like we had to split up and got tired of his angry ways.
This went on and off for a few years until I finally had enough. I sat down with my husband and told him we should split up as I couldn't handle his anger anymore. He looked at me with disbelief for quite some time before he said anything.
Then he took me by the hands, looked directly into my eyes and said, “I understand that I have been angry towards you. I have felt unfairly treated and I am tired of your bad moods. I have bottled things up and have not known how to fix it. I am tired of being hurt and unloved and I am tired of waiting for you to fix your part.” With that he let go of my hands. I was still angry and yelled, “Stop blaming me!”
While he looked disappointed in me, he did something that I had not experienced from him before. My husband said “...So now I'm asking you to remove your clothes and lay across my lap.”
I was so angry! I started yelling and told him it was over. All of my buttons were telling me to get out. So I called him a weirdo and left.
I took the car and was half way down the road when I realized how miserable I had made him. I always made it his problem. He wasn't weird at all he was just scared of losing me. The assertiveness in his voice felt so warm that I had to be in that space with him.
So just like that I turned the car around and drove home. I left the keys in the ignition and walked straight in and removed my clothes, laid across his lap and burst into tears. As I cried he spoke to me and I felt the moment building up. He spoke to me softly at first and then I heard his voice become firm and serious and I knew he was about to spank me. I was so scared. He spanked me over and over and I cried and said sorry so many times. I released so many things that were holding me back. I nearly lost the one man that cared enough about me to make a difference. He told me he always loved me but from now on he would not hesitate to spank me if I stepped out of line.
I love my husband and yes I still get an little moody from time to time. But I love his ways – he's so sexy. I love him taking charge and I have not lost myself.
If he had not taken me in hand that I would not be with him now. There is no comparison between before and now.
[Note to the writer: if you give me a name, I will attribute this piece accordingly. - The Editor]
Have you seen the following articles?
Why is real punishment spanking erotic?
Given a choice between two men ...
A gentle giant who loves and serves the woman he leads
He owns it all...
The dance of consent
From clues to a wonderful reality
Obedience
Protective men
Strength versus weakness
Do you have a commanding presence?
Comments
#1 This is what I hope for as well
This is the effect that I hope spanking could have on a future relationship with an Alpha man...
#2 Me Too
I can so relate to your desires, Sarah! If my first husband had done something like this to me, it would probably have saved our marriage. He too was sweet and considerate but was effeminate in many of his mannerisms and was definitely not the alpha male type. There was never a time as far as I can recollect that he behaved assertively towards me. He let me walk all over him and I resented him for it.
Not only did I withhold sex (our marriage was eventually annulled because it was never consummated – talk about having issues with sex, let me count the ways...), I withheld myself and would clam up and not speak to him when he tried to ‘reason’ with me. It just made me angry that he would grovel, and I no longer respected him. Disrespect soon grew into loathing. I was young, idealistic, selfish and stubborn. If anyone needed a good spanking, it was I!
Subconsciously I think I craved masculine strength around me (something I never had as a child due my parents divorcing when I was very young). Feeling the protection and security of a strong, loving man willing to stand up to me and physically dominate me when necessary to keep me in line would have made all the difference!
- Kristianna
#3 Rare
The original writer was quite lucky. When the wife is ready to walkout, a spanking seldom saves the marriage. Then, the fact that the writer came back to her husband may suggest that she was not quite ready to call it quits.
At the same time, the article illustrates the magnetism that going over a man's lap holds for women.
Years ago, I asked my wife why it was that, although a woman knows she is going to get a spanked by her husband, she is more inclined to take off her clothes - often without being told to do so - than run from her husband. Her answer was that a woman wants absolutely nothing to stand in the way of a man taking charge.
#4 appalled
I agree that a woman wants a man who is confident and is strong and can take charge of a situation. But, rape and spanking? Seriously. Are we back in the Dark Ages? This must be every chauvenists' dream. I know, it "works" for some people, so that lends validation to the idea. Cocaine helps some people stay up all night so they can get their jobs done; I guess that's okay, too. The ends justify the means, and vice versa. Let me guess, you would spank your wife like a little girl getting punished by her daddy, and then expect her to make love to you like a grown lady. You guys that do that should get your own arses spanked, or taken to the woodshed. Shame on you. Maybe the wife should call Hulk Hogan or some gladiator champion to come over and woop up on you next time you get out of line. I never heard such bull----. There is a line between being too passive and being a caveman. Moderation, guys, temperance. Alpha male doesn't mean bull-rushing your way into all avenues of life. I tell you something else, too. A real man would not subject his lady to such undignified and childish behavior. If the woman likes it and gets aroused by it, then it may speak to something psychology that isn't right. Like people who get aroused by being tortured. Doesn't make it right, just because it "works" for them. Why not make them sit in the corner or write sentences? It would be no less ridiculous. This is a load of crap and anyone who spanks their lady have just given manhood a black eye. It's just s--t like that that gives men a bad name. Spanking is no different in substance or principle than if you were to haul off and hit her with your fist. Big men, hitting ladies. Try that on someone your own size and strength if you feel so manly. Oh yeah, that's right, you're not trying to have sex with them. I get it.
DJ in St. Louis
#5 To DJ
Whether it appalls you or not, the fact is that many people derive satisfaction from this type of relationship. And in many cases (the majority, as far as I can make out), it is the woman who asks the man for thisssss. That was certainly the case where my marriage is concerned.
And while being spanked may be painful, it does not make me feel like a little girl at all. And my husband does not view me as such. Spanking me when he is annoyed with me does both of us good. And in general, this has improved our relationship no end.
To say that spanking is no different than hauling off and hitting a woman with your fist is not being sensible. A man can do serious damage to a woman with his fist, but he can do no damage by smacking her bottom. And it will have an entirely different effect than hitting her with his fist.
Being hit with a fist is an unpleasant and upsetting experience for most people. For a woman who is inclined to respond positively to being spanked though, the effect on her is likely to be very positive. It is an entirely different thing.
Louise
#6 All women are different
You act like all women should meet your beliefs of what they like and don't like. I know some women who would have kept driving, and some women who would have kept driving because he asked instead of just doing it.
I rarely lose my temper. One night I was out with my longterm girlfriend and something happened to make me lose my temper and I really told her off. She just smiled and told me I needed to get mad more often.
From reading the articles Taken in Hand, this is using a controlled amount of force to stop the power struggles that can destroy a relationship.