Give new love a chance

When you lose someone with whom you have had the relationship of your dreams, it is natural to spend a lot of time thinking about the person you have lost and what you had together. But when you enter a new relationship, it is important to turn your attention to what you have now in this new relationship. If instead you live in the past, you might not be giving your new relationship a chance to grow and develop. Few are strong enough to compete with the ghosts of past loves.

Sha expresses this truth much more poetically, saying to those in this situation:

Picture yourself. You represent life and what you want your will to live. You are on a mountain top. The mountain represents the love you have lost and the strength he showed you.

The mountain was so high that you felt safe from the world and untouchable by the world. Until one day the mountain slipped and you started falling. The falling represents the pain that you are in. As you fall you try reaching out for the mountain, trying to grab hold of some part of that great strong mountain, but the mountain is not there now. The more you fight, trying to get hold of it, the more pain you cause to yourself

What you haven't realized is that you have a parachute. The parachute represents the submitting to your new love, and all you have to do is hold on to the parachute and float to the safety of another mountain which will be your new love as soon as you land there. But being away from the first mountain that made you so safe you are scared to trust anything and any one. The parachute has not been tested enough for you to trust it, but what you don't realize also is that you have tested it every day you have been together with your new love. So all you need to do is pull that rope the rope is hope and trust and let the parachute safely carry to that other mountain top that is just as safe and even as strong as the first one. I know that is scary too because you afraid that this mountain will shake and you will be falling again but you seriously can't keep falling forever. At the end of that fall is death and we do not want that.

The first mountain is gone now and you can't keep trying to hang on to it. You can keep the reminders of it, like when kids go on field trips and collect leaves and flowers and put them in a Memory Book.They take that book out once in a while and look at the leaves and things they collected and they remember what they learned on that trip that is a good thing. But they don't try to make their way in life based on that trip. You are on another field trip and this one could be better than the last. You have to give it a chance and explore the new mountain. Pull that rope and go to the other mountain that is waiting for you with a great big landing area.

Sha

Have you seen the following articles?
Who says you have to be submissive?
Using the internet to find a partner
Surrendered in love
Why a man might be reluctant and what to do about it
Joyful submission
The coming battle
Total obedience?
The paradox of the strong and submissive woman
Strength versus weakness
Introducing the intimate control dynamic

2003 Dec 28 - 01:48 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Thank you

I was a slave to a guy and it ended badly. I did not want that life. It was hard letting go. I now can.

Hugs

Krys

by Krys on 2004 Mar 1 - 13:44 | reply to this comment

Floating to the mountain

I just want to say that what you said is true and extremely helpful. I am afraid to love and trust people. I am scared to open myself up. But in order for me to love and be loved i have to go to that other mountain where new opportunities awaits. I will try to picture myself floating to that mountain.

Thank you

sharda

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2004 Aug 10 - 02:01 | reply to this comment

touch

Touch To touch someone with your hands is easy. To feel someone with your heart is not that easy. Can you touch someone's heart without ever touching their hand? Can your heart learn to love one you have never seen face to face? There are those who believe that if you cannot touch one face with your hand it does not exist. For such a person I feel pity. For love consist of so much more than a physical touch. When the hand of the one you love touches you, you feel more than just a touch. There is a spark that awakens all that is within you, stimulating the heart, mind, body and soul. This is when you know the love you share is true. When you give yourself wholly. When you are able to do so with a single touch. When the touch does not have to be physical sense. For when the love you feel in your heart is real a simple word can touch you a part of you so deep within a part of yourself, you had no idea existed. True love always knows the way. For your heart is like a beacon. The heart that is seeking true love will always find its way for it knows where it meant to be even if before it had never been touched.

by terribeth on 2006 Jul 15 - 16:39 | reply to this comment

Just read this today and have

Just read this today and have found this so very helpful. I sometimes think we are drawn to read that which helps us the most when we really need reassurance and support. I loved and trusted someone with my heart and soul, he suddenly changed all the goal posts to suit his own needs. I am now in a new relationship and have,inevitabley compared the present man with the last.BIG MISTAKE and one I should have realised sooner than this. I have memories of "mountains" two beautiful children from the first, a new understanding of myself and my needs from the second. The third relationship has an honesty and reality the others did not have. I thank you for this article for it has renewed my spirit. I now have a desire to move forward in this present relationship that I had almost lost. I recognise the man I loved so very dearly is not irreplaceable, although I WILL always love him, indeed I do know he will always love me.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2006 Jul 23 - 23:29 | reply to this comment

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