I was aware from an early age of my own interest in spanking, I was always slightly embarrassed by it, thinking it very strange. I always felt very self-conscious when watching spanking scenes in movies or TV shows, if anyone else was present I always worried that they might notice how avid my interest was. As I got older, I became aware my interest was not that unusual, and that many other shared it. The material on offer that dealt with the subject was not, however, particularly enticing to me. There were the rather sleazy men's magazines that dealt with the subject, but they were so obviously aimed at men, and much of the material they contained was so unattractive, that it didn't do much for me. Fictional books that touched on the subject of submission and dominance, like Story of O and John Norman's Gor books, were too bizarre and extrem for my taste.

Then when I was about 25 I read the first serious non-fiction book I had ever seen on the subject The English Vice, by Ian Gibson. This did not do much to make me feel better about my fascination with the subject. Mr Gibson's opinion in unequivical, that the desire to spank or be spanked is a vicious perversion and evidence of a sick and warped mind. This didn't actually put me off being spanked, but it didn't do anything to alleviate the vaguely guilty and embarrassed feelings I had about it. I didn't think I was really sick and warped, but Mr Gibson thought I was.

Some fourteen years later, I was wandering round Waterstones when I chanced upon a copy of Thy Rod and Staff, by Edward Anthony, in the History section. When I picked it up and started browsing, I soon realised that this was a very different kind of book from Mr Gibson's vicious polemic agains “the English Vice”. Mr Anthony seemed to think that it was okay to be interested in spanking, that it was possible to be a sane, intelligent and witty person (as he evidently was) and still like spanking. I walked around Waterstones clutching this book for about 15 minutes before I finally plucked up courage to buy it, then when I got home I couldn't put it down until I had finished it.

The book is divided into three parts. The first part “This Filthy Vice” (a quotation from George Bernard Shaw), deals with the decline of the use of corporal punishment in public life in recent times, and the possible reasons why people nevertheless continue to be fascinated by the subject. He pasy particular attention to the works of Havelock Ellis, who was alone among psychologists in taking a sympathetic view of the subject. Discussing what makes spanking different from other acts of pain infliction Edward Anthony writes:

The man who is erotically aroused by ritually smacking his wife's bottom (let us suppose she enjoys it no less than he) is actually excited by what? The love of giving pain to another? Only that? In that case, why not pull her hair or punch her face, or slash her skin, or humiliate her in public with a few cruel words? The answer is that these activities would almost certainly have the opposite effect to that sought: they would subdue desire.

This passage resonated with me because it was what I had always thought without being able to put it into words clearly, my desire to be spanked was not purely about wanting pain or humiliation, since other things could cause me much more accute suffering in both. Spanking was something different and special.

Another thing I realised when reading the book is that my own interest in spanking, rather than being extreme and strange as I had always thought, was positively tepid compared to some. There is a wonderful quotation from a letter written by the composer Percy Grainger to a friend on reading a book called The History of the Rod (one of those books that purported to be ‘serious’ discussion of the subject:

Yesterday I bought a book entitled "The History of the Rod", dealing with the use of the whip in all countries and times. Seldom in my life have I gone through such a lecherous day as yesterday. My head ached, eyes burnt, body shook, of the excitement of reading what people have invented in my greatest speciality...

Edward Anthony discusses spankings in books, notaby having a particular fascination with books in which adolescent boys are whipped by attractive young women. he becomes positively lyrical when describing the scene in Anne of Avonlea where Anne Shirely whips Anthony Pye, contrasting it favourably with the more savage passages of a similar kind in My Brilliant Career and The Rainbow. He writes:

There can hardly be a male passive flagellant who would not joyfully change places with Anthony Pye, and afterwards, like him, offer allegiance to Anne of Green Gables; friendship and adoration having replaced hostility and defiance by means of the sweetest imaginable catharsis.

In Part II “The Flagellant Experience” he writes about what people actually do, and the possible reasons why:

Flagellation is obviously an activity where pain and pleasure are mingled, but there is more to it than that. the pain, for example, must be of a highly specialised kind, and, as a general rule, applied to a highly specified part of the human body. Nor is the mere application of pain enough – it must be administered under tightly controlled circumstances, with rules, and only by selected individuals....To declare, therefore, that the object of flagellation is to administer or receive pain, is about as comprehensively accurate as saying that the sole purpose of of seducation is procreation.

That was another passage that resonated with me, it's got to be done in the right way, in the right place, and by the right person, in order for it to work. It's not just some vague generalised desire for pain. It's about so much more than just suffering.

He discusses the famous Spencer Spanking Plan devised by a Mrs Spencer who recommened that couples should spank each other for –discipline’. Writing about the failure of this to catch on, Mr anthony suggests:

Two-way discipline with the same partner works against the flow of hierarchy that is a vital part of dominant-submissive relationships, consensual or otherwise.

That was something I recognised as explaining what I had always wondered about, why I so disliked the idea of being able to spank the man who spanked me (I did once know somebody who wanted me to do this). I wanted the hierarchy to remain unchanged, with him the spanker and me the spankee, I didn't want to be able to take it in turns.

He discusses the variety of fantasy scenarios peole enjoy, the master/pupil, master/slave scenarios etc. He's particularly amusing when discussing the effort that a submissive may have to make to convince themselves that the person spanking is the perfect dominant:

The hypthetical husband who smacks his wife across his knee every now and again – with her consent, maybe even at her suggestion – as an enjoyable preliminary to lovemaking, is only pretending, pro tem, to be an authoritarian. He is acting a part, just as she is – in their everyday lives they may well behave entirely differently – and the success of the production will depend to a very great extent on their suspension of disbelief, itself enabled or crippled by the quality of otherwise of the available thespian skills. A temporarily submissive female may require a very great effort of will to convince herself, even on the most fleeting and insubstantial level, that a very short man with a squeaky voice who keeps mispronouncing the Words of Power is actually a confident and capable superman, whose word is law, whose intentions are not to be flouted, and whose iron-muscled thighs constitute an altar on which all sins will be washed clean. That it can be achieved at all is probably due to the overmastering qualities of fundamental sexual desire. (“Close your eyes and imagine he's Sean Connery.”)

This is one of my favourite passages from the whole book, and I recongnised it as being something I'd done myself, I had had to struggle in the past to convince myself that the man spanking me was the authentic dominant male, not just someone doing an imitation in order to gratify my desires. What the book couldn't address was my very strong desire to feel that my husband's dominance was real, not just an act put on for the duration of the spanking. This is a book about spanking however, not about Taken In Hand relationships, and it couldn't explain all my feelings.

Different varieties of dominant personalities are discussed, the “no-nonsense lover” being the one who came closest to my own fantasies, the one who pops up so often in mainstream films where the exasperated hero wallops the heroine. Other personalities I found less appealing, having no interest in wicked uncles, schoolmasters, slavemasters, etc.

Chapter 13 “The Rite” discusses the ritualised nature of flagellation, and I recognised how true this was. Mr anthony describes the seven distinict stages of the proto-ritual:

1. Commission. The ‘crime’ usually an error of commission or omission - takes place, needless to say, with every expectation of...
2. Detection. the Dominant ‘detects’ the error. This leads inexorably to...
3. Confrontation. The guilty party is faced with the evidence of fault. Past ‘record’ is invoked, judgement delivered and sentence passed.
4. apprehension. a period of formal ‘waiting for it’. Its purpose is to increase tension.
5. Preperation. The culprit is ordered to prepare. (Posture, clothing etc)Alternatively, and if the scenario is apposite, the dominant may forcibly lead the sumbissive to the place of punishment and personally make all ready.
6. Execution. the penalty is inflicted with the chosen rod.
7. Aftermath. The culprit is ‘forgiven’. This may lead directly to more orthodox physical lovemaking.

This ritual is played out in our own house four or five times a week, and I never, ever get tired of it. It produces the same thrill every time. Endless repetition does nothing to dim the excitement. Particularly stage 4. Apprehension – the longer I have to wait the greater the rising tide of excitement.

Discussing the possiblity of the submissive being forcibly restrained, he writes:

Without the culprit being offered even the chance to accept the punishment submissively, all possible redemptive focus is removed. It is also an unbalanced punishment. Restraints may well serve to admit the infliction of greater than usual pain, but they also almost entirely remove the shaming component since the culprit has been overpowered by superior force.

That's something else that resonated with me. I knew that having to submit voluntariy to being spanked was much more thrilling than being forcibly overpowered, now I knew why. The delicious feeling that came with voluntary submission would be entirely lacking if I was restrained.

Part III “Flagellation and Society” discusses why people today might desire to be spanked, and suggest some desire for a hierarchial relationship in a democratic age. A quotation from a letter to Havelock Ellis from a female correspondent produced a start of recognition:

Submission to the man's will is still, and always must be, the prelude to pleasure, and the association of ideas will probably always produce this much misunderstood instinct. Now, I find, indirectly from other women and directly from my own experience, that, when the point in dispute is very important, and the man exerts his authority, the desire to get one's own way completely obliterates the sexual feeling, while, conversely, in samll things, the sexual feeling obliterates the desire to have one's own way. Where the two are nearly equal a conflict between then ensues and I can stand aside and wonder which will get the best of it, though I encourage the sexual feeling when possible, as, if the other conquers, it leaves a sense of mental irritation and physical discomfort. A man should command in small things, as in nine cases out of ten this will produce excitement. He should advise in large matters, or he may find either that he is unable to enforce his orders or that he produces a feeling of dislike and annoyance he was far from intending.

There again I recognised myself, in the conflicting desires to have my own way, and to obey my husband, and realising that I felt happier and more satisfied if I obeyed him than if I was in conflict with him, in other words if I let the sexual feeling preval over the desire to get my own way.

There is a lot of material in this book that does not appeal to me on a personal level, I have no interest in recreating childhood experiences, for instance, or in schools or slavery or dominant lady governesses, but what this book did for me was to make me feel better about my own interest, to realise that it might be kinky, but that it didn't mean I was sick or in need of psychiatric help or anything, that it was okay to like being spanked, and to like thinking about it.

It is by far the most interesting and amusing book that has been published on this subject so far, and I would recommend it to anyone with an interest in spanking.

Louise C

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