Protective men

Many women crave the protection of men. Now why exactly? Well maybe some professor of anthropology would have some sort of primitive survival explanation.

Protection from what, you ask? You name it. Do you know how hard and scary it is to be a woman out there on your own? Do you know the things that can happen to women if no one is looking out for them?

I'm making women sound too much like victims, and that's not right. But to feel protected is to feel loved. It means the man gives a damn about what happens to you. It may mean he's furious you come home at 9pm instead of 6pm when he was expecting you home. That's a gift. To have someone worried about you and what the hell happens to you. In my own heart a Taken In Hand man is fiercely protective. Two hundred years ago, sometimes it was nothing more than protecting the woman's honor; for example, someone badmouths her and husband thrashes the man who did so.

Would I be protective of my Taken In Hand man? Sure, but in a more feminine way: if he were ill, if he were hungry, if he were tired, if his feet ached, I would meet his needs; I would protect his reputation in public with my life. Does this make any sense? You protect your man by making sure his every need is met, without being a doormat, just out of love. And in return a Taken In Hand man gives so much back.

Nina da Kenth

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2005 Dec 1 - 18:34 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |

Simple gestures

That is such a pretty statement...to protect him by making sure his needs are met. And it is true.

There is much to be said about knowing someone cares so much about you, they get upset when you're home hours later then you said you'd be. If you don't believe this, try being a woman on your own. Try coming home to an empty house with no one there to say "I care".

My first thought, when I hear of women who get angry at their husbands for various small reasons...women who flounce off if they don't get their own way...or ride their husbands about petty issues....my first thought is that they have no idea how lucky they are to have someone in their lives who cares.

When my husband receives my care and is relaxed, I am happy. I am not a doormat or a housewife, but it pleases me to show him that I care in small ways, even if it is picking up a dish he left behind.

These are simple gestures I performed before marriage and it is important to continue them. Otherwise, I would be changed from the woman he married and that would not be fair to him.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Dec 1 - 19:25 | login or register to post comments

It's all about seeing after her

Seeing after her is what a man does to take a her in hand. It is being mindful of her. It's doing the little things that make her feel looked after. It's also about holding her to account. Making demands on her so that she feels valuable, useful. The demands aren't huge, just small requirements easily met but invaluable for giving her the feeling of being important to you.

If confronted by a mugger with a gun, I step between her and the gun to protect her. But what if she is a black belt in karate, while I have a belt that matches my black shoes? It that situation, I move away from her distracting the mugger so he doesn't see her kick until it strikes. As my little heroine and I resume our walk, I remind her that we still have to have a chat about her being 3 hours late and not calling. To which, she snuggles closer into my side.

Protecting a woman isn't done because she is a victim or unable to care for herself. It is done to make sure that she feels cared for.

by Jeff on 2005 Dec 4 - 08:15 | login or register to post comments

Great Response

Wonderful response, Jeff. Thanks for the added dimension to the subject. I myself am one of the strongest women I know, stronger than most men, dare I say. You are quite right, Jeff: it's all about feeling cared for.

Nina da Kenth

by Nina da Kenth on 2005 Dec 5 - 03:21 | login or register to post comments

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