How I feel before, during and after being spanked


A deep arousing sensation wells up inside my lower abdomen when you firmly tell me you are going to spank me. It is partly sexual in origin, partly emotional.

The sexual aspect has to do with being naked, over your knee, close to your body. It has to do with you seeing my bottom bare and vulnerable. It is the feel of your firm hands touching me, holding me down. It is knowing we will share loving feelings when it is over.

Emotionally, it is knowing you are in charge and will handle my behavior and make decisions without my input. It is a pleasurable feeling to have you deciding how I will be disciplined—comforting at some distant level. The nature of this pleasure is what draws me to you, allows me to give consent for you to accept control. I know it will hurt, but I will never be hurt.

It is wonderful to have such trust in each other. We do not get an opportunity for that very often—to have complete trust in another person. It is rare and unique. I do not consciously think these thoughts each time—my body's sensation is enough to flood me with a sense of wellbeing. It leaves a smile inside me.


Fear—definitely fear—not of you, but of the paddle. Excitement... as I go over your knee, as my panties are being pulled down, when I feel your leg go over mine to pin me in place... giving up control to you... moving to a place where I have to obey... where you are in charge, and I will be cared for and taken care of, where I feel you totally engaged with me.

Pain... while the actual spanking is happening, I think of very little else but the pain. I am begging for it to stop, I want to make you stop. I just hurt so badly, I have an almost overwhelming urge to interfere with the paddling, my hand, kicking, I want a pillow on my backside, so you cannot spank my bare bottom. I want to jerk my bottom out of your reach, but I am trapped solidly between your legs and arm, and I want to cry in desperation.

When it is a truly hard spanking, I feel such helplessness that I cannot interfere with it. I can only choose surrender to your discipline, until it is done. Then toward the end, fear wells up again, as I always think the last spanks will surely be the worst. I wait for those, wanting them to come, but not wanting to feel them, great ambivalence. I am never angry, never. Instead, at the end, I am tired but refreshed, content.


I need you. Total surrender leaves me very vulnerable. I feel little and tender. I want you to hold me, tightly. I need your arms around me. I want to talk, maybe cry. I feel deeply connected. A very peaceful calm stays with me for a very long time, if it has been an emotional experience, which it always is. It is one of my most powerful experiences, it changes me. It creates a calmness within me that radiates a joyful existence. I notice it every day.

The burning on my bottom is pleasant. If it is tender the next day, I am happy. I enjoy looking at the redness, I enjoy you looking at it if I am in the corner. Sometimes I need you to spank me again. It never hurts the second time, at least not much.

There are really no negatives to a discipline spanking, except the spanking itself, but even this is not true. I like that too. I like the touch, even if it is painful; it is a path to a place I need to go with the one who holds my deepest trust.


Have you seen the following articles?
Why you shouldn't mention the “M” word
Being taken in hand is hot!
Wouldn't it be more efficient to withhold spanking?
I don't want to be a servant or slave
Form over substance
Empowering dominance
My perfect guy, and the marriage he has given me
Don't go into your cave, get out your preferred implement!
Using the internet to find a partner
The alpha male and masculine power



What a genuine outpour of feelings. The feelings are not esoteric but ones that we can relate to.


Wow, this was perfect. I don't think I could express it this well, but it is exactly what I feel before, during and after. The after is so important. And I don't think my husband realizes that...:(


Congratulations! You have expressed the feelings in a perfect way. I could have never done it better. A perfect description of the way I feel too. :)

The Spanking Ideal


what a beautiful article. This is exactly how I would want my beloved to feel—to have this kind of intimate connection with the girl over my knee is my defintiion of true happiness, and true love.


guys point of view

I would love to hear the same from the guys point of view.
Before , during , after.


The is no feeling in the world like the ones you described!

same here

I feel exactly the same, thank you for sharing.



Absolutely spot on!

Yes, that's exactly how I feel before, during and after, especially the during bit. "My god, I must be mad, this really hurts, how could I possibly have thought I WANTED him to do this to me!" But afterwards—wow!

Geez Louise

It's great following you around—reading a bunch of threads I missed before. I have to admit I found this site kind of hard to navigate at first and I know I've missed a lot.

Thank you Annie for your eloquence! This is so perfecly expressed I have printed it for MB to read. I'll ask him to do a male perspective of before, during and after, as someone requested. But don't get your hopes up.

As brilliant as my beloved is I doubt I'll get more than 'exasperated before', 'enjoying the view during', and 'feeling protective after'.

He loves what this has done for us but he's not one to talk about it at length.


A wonderful essay

I'm the webmaster of a french website entitled "Discipline Domestique" ( ).

With your approval, i'd like to translate your wonderful text in french, so my readers can enjoy it too.

Of course i'll give you credit and link to this page.

Just wondering

I was just wondering if it ever happens to you or any one else; today i felt it for the first time , have you ever been mad and frustrated after a spanking? Well i did and i never felt like this before, other times i feel exatly like you but not today.

No, I have never felt that.

It could be that you think the spanking was undeserved or excessive. I've also read of women (some on this site) who are frustrated because their husbands or boyfriends do not do it hard enough to make them feel better. In the end, you are the only one who can say why you felt that way.

Been There

Yes, it has happened to me a few times. I think this mostly happens when he stops too soon—before I have gotten to the submissive stage. Sometimes I feel like my punishment is unjust or unwarranted, and I'm angry about it all. However, my perception about my behavior is frequently different from his. If I do something that upsets him, for whatever reason, and he decides a punishment is in order, well, I don't have a lot of say about it. I can state my case, but a lot of times his mind is already made up. I fight and try to control the situation. If I win, then I think that's what makes me angry. I really don't want to win. That's when I become pouty, mad and frustrated, like you. For me, I know he needs to keep going until I am thoroughly resigned to my fate and I stop trying to control the situation.

However, I think most of the time I feel like as in this posting.

Very True, Annie

My husband and I have been married for three years and I've felt the sting of his hand across my butt a few times after he's put me across his knee. And every single time it was usually because I was bratty and needed an attitude adjustment. I must admit the sting of his palm across my butt left my bottom sore quite a few times, but in every case too I've had a good cry as he spanked me until the crying became soft sobs. He always wipes my tears away and kisses me and I feel so secure, relaxed and feminine as we always make terrific love afterward too.