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Introducing... P: “I want fire”

[THIS IS AN EXAMPLE ONLY. THIS PERSON IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE. - Editor]

Something – someone – has been missing in my life, all my life. I never knew exactly what it was until very recently. Then I found this website. It was as if a billion stars suddenly lit the sky. And I was faced with my truth.

My truth is that all my life I have yearned for a strong, dominant man – not a controlling boor – but a strong man, emotionally strong, an ‘in control’ man, who knows who he is and is able to lead. Up until now, I felt that, being a strong woman, these feelings, needs and desires were unacceptable. After all, I am a strong woman who calls herself a feminist.

I want to connect deeply with a man who seeks a profoundly deep connection with a woman, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and sexually. He does not fear intimacy. He is soothing. I long to lay my head on his broad chest, and lean on his strong shoulders. And he wants me to be there. He would not have it any other way.

All my life, yes, all my life I have known only weak men, from my father, to an abusive ex boss, to the man I was with for 25 years. I see them everywhere; they are afraid of true intimacy and are looking for a mommy or a trophy woman. I will take responsibility here also; because, until very recently, I have hidden my need to be led, and to lean, so of course I have not attracted men who can provide that for me. Men have been attracted to my strengths but they were not strong. They have not been able to provide strength for me, which I now realize has been because I was unwilling, unable or ashamed to articulate how I longed to feel taken care of, led. I took care of a man for 25 years who I could not lean on for anything, despite my deep yearning to do so. It was enough.

Finding this website made me realize that I am not alone. Unspeakable relief and gratitude. I see that not only are there women like me, strong intelligent women who want to be led, but that there are men who are strong, smart, secure and able to do so. I hope there is one such man out there for me who is right now reading these words, and imagining me.

I am a very young 54, youthful in appearance and in my heart, a professional woman, petite, curvy, with fair skin and long dark curly hair, big dark eyes that search and question. I had a long, unhappy marriage with a very unstable man. I have no children. I am smart, seasoned, loyal, thoughtful and capable of great depth, compassion and understanding. I love to tease and to flirt – with the right man. I am smart and sassy, but also shy; I can push hard and want a man who will not back down. I am no one's slave, and am not into BDSM. I am not into humiliation. I am into respect. A man who wants to use a collar and leash should get a pet greyhound! I am a real woman. And I can be a handful. BTW, I live in the US.

My man should be also be smart, secure, loyal, consistent, have great self control, compassion, understanding and be able to offer me the protection, security, cherishing, depth and the taken care of feeling that I seek. I want him to be able to soothe me. All those years of feminism have taught me that I do NOT want a 50-50 vanilla relationship. I want fire. I want to fly.

I want to be taken in hand. Please take my hand.

[THIS IS AN EXAMPLE ONLY. THIS PERSON IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE. - Editor]

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Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
Why is BDSM so popular?
Letter to a potential partner
Is there consent?
Out of control, insane, driven by our emotions? No way!
What Taken In Hand has done for our marriage
Keep your sense of humour!
Do you need more attention in your relationship?
Why would anyone want to be controlled by a man?
Shades of grey
Do you have a commanding presence?
Tue, 30/08/2005 - 01:39