Not a lower-case girl

There is a commonly held view that all submissive persons should write their name in lower case to demonstrate their wholehearted submission to their HOH. This may feel nice to some, but in my view it is not essential and above all should not be allowed to become some form of genuflection to be observed by all.

I refuse to have my girl write to me as a “lower-case person”. Although she is the submissive and I am a life-long dominant man, she is someone I love and respect – she is my equal in all things. She is the one who has surrendered her submission to me and without that submission, I would have nothing in terms of dominance over her.

I am perhaps a bit old fashioned, I open the door for her and when we cross the road I take her arm, signalling when it is safe to cross. There is no need really, because she is not blind and is quite capable of crossing on her own, but apparently it feels nice to be taken care of. I carry out many domestic chores including cooking most of our meals. This does not diminish me in her eyes, far from it, it shows her that I really do love her and am not prepared to see her as my personal drudge. It would take nothing at all to let her take over all of the household chores – she does plenty already, but my love for her is such that I insist on equality in all things. This is new to her because her experience of men is; they are the boss and she is secondary.

We operate a fairly simple form of DD. I don't micro-manage her life, though we have some rules. She is not to self-denigrate or try and put me down and we do not carp or shout at each other. We have disagreements, but these have to be worked out calmly and patiently and we do accept that we cannot agree on some things. I do not force my opinion on her, but instead thrill to the knowledge that I have the power to spank an independently minded woman – though not because she has disagreed with me.

She does get irate, impatient and snappy when her hormones play her up and I have been told to “F”-Off! occasionally, but knowing that once she gets this way with me, I have the right to tan her bottom, it is easy for me to resist replying in the same vein, so I take it on the chin, smile s weetly and mark her temporary lapse in decorum for future reference. There are some things she must do to stay out of trouble and some things she must not do, but apart from that we live together in love and harmony.

When she is to be spanked, her trepidation is palpable and rightly so, because the discipline is very real. When she is being spanked it is very noisy, she squirms and cries out, sometimes breaking down in tears. After she has been spanked she is cuddled warmly and it is at this point that it all comes together; she feels safe, looked after, warm and fuzzy and above all, deeply loved and cared for. At that point the demarcation line between dominance and submission is most clearly defined and without her calling me sir, eating out of the dog bowl, wearing a collar or writing her name in lower-case.

Coryman

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Re: Not a lower-case girl

Hi Coryman,

You sound like a great guy...wish there were more like you. I agree with you totally about the lower-case thing and equality. If I decide to submit to a man it will be because I choose to do so. I see myself as an equal...no better or no worse than any man or woman. Submission is a choice and a gift from a woman to her man. He earns this gift through her trust in him...without trust...there can be no submission.

I enjoyed your article...thanks for sharing.

Laura

DS is not about abuse and degradation

I couldn't agree more. DS is hardly about abuse and degradation. I admire the two of you and envy you; it sounds like you have a wonderful relationship.

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