What is the alpha male's secret?
Much of the communication in interpersonal relationships is non-verbal. In addition to body language, facial expressions, or gestures, there is a particular primal resonance in the voice that allows even soft-spoken individuals to maintain an air of authority. Presence or absence of this voice quality often determines social standing.
The resonance explains why some husbands can use that certain tone of voice and accomplish things through verbalization that other men cannot even though they raise the decibel level. At the same time, to use an appropriate American sports metaphor, an absence of the requisite resonance can explain why some men sit on the proverbial bench and seldom get a chance to put it through the uprights.
Where alpha males differ from their counterparts is in an ability to maintain the same phonation regardless of circumstances. The lack of excitability comes from an inner strength. This attribute has a calming effect and inspires confidence. These are men with whom women want to mate and propagate. They are the alpha males.
Have you seen the following articles?
Domestic discipline (DD)
Do you need more attention in your relationship?
The missionary position
Women who take responsibility for their own actions
The resistant woman
Empowering dominance
Communication
A sword-wielding female warrior taken in hand!
Force majeure
When rape is a gift
Comments
#1 Being Alpha is not enough
It may be true that some men are gifted with a charisma that women respond to, indicated by a weakening in their knees, a flushing of their face, or a tingling sensation down below, but I think too much is made of this trait. It is really a rather neutral trait and is only meaningful if the man has developed other qualties that are necessary for the full flowering of a relationship between a man and his woman.
Some of the most selfish, egotistical men I have ever known had this strange power over women. This trait may get the man in the door, but will not be enough when it gets down to more practical concerns and needs of a woman's heart. As a woman matures she realizes that she needs more from a man. She leaves aside her sily school girl infatuations. Instead she comes to realize that what she really needs is for him to be patient, possess self control, and demonstrate a loving concern for her well being. Certainly, self confidence is important, but that does not come naturally, but only through self awareness, self discipline, self determination, and real accomplishments. Once a man has command over himself, then even the less "gifted" man is able to move her with the tone of his voice or his raised eyebrow. There is much to say about the self made man.
The alpha male may be attractive when seen on the silver screen or from across the office where a fevered imagination is given free reign, but he will quickly lose favor if he has proven himself to be shallow and self involved.
#2 First In, First Out versus First In, Last Out
As you acknowledge, "[The resonance] trait may get the man in the door." That, alone, gives the Alpha male an advantage. Consequently, it is only if the Alpha lacks or fails in timely development of relevant interpersonal skills necessary to perpetuate the relationship do Betas get a chance. To make matters worse for Betas, absence of resonance does not prove the existence of anything more substantial underneath!
To be sure, there are a fair number of egocentric prima donnas among Alphas. Unable to get beyond themselves, some Alphas are even self-destructive in interpersonal relationships. Still, to paraphrase someone gifted at playing the odds, even if the race does not always go to the swift or the battle to the strong, that is the way to bet.