My full and complete surrender

I'm not in a relationship right now, but years ago when I was in my early twenties, I was involved with a man who was very good at taking me in hand in little ways. I'm not a submissive woman, but with this man I found myself wanting to be submissive, almost as if I was compelled in some way to be submissive to him. He was always very gentle with me; he never raised his voice to me in anger, but he could be very stern at times.

He could settle me down with just a look or a few quietly spoken words. Most men I would have challenged, but whenever he gave me that look and his tone took on that firm, quiet authority, I always submitted to him. So odd, because it's so totally out of character for me to submit – ever! I think that is why I fell in love with him: finally, a man that I couldn't run roughshod right over. He and I never discussed the dynamics of our relationship. I had never heard of Taken in Hand, or DD, or any of those labels. It just seemed natural for him to lead and for me to follow. Although he did spank me a time or two...it wasn't a common occurrence, mainly because it wasn't necessary: the ‘look’ and that stern tone of voice worked so well on me for him.

I'm one of those women who could be called a tester. It's not really a conscious thing, it just seems to be in my nature to test and see how far a man will let me push him. When I was a young woman, I didn't realize that I did it, but now, I recognize the behavior for what it is. It's my way of separating the men from the boys, so to speak. One thing that I've noticed is that when I exhibit this behavior with a man, if he reacts in a firm manner with me, I stop the behavior immediately. That's not to say that I won't ever test him again, but I won't test him as often as I would the average guy.

This particular ex-boyfriend had my number and he knew exactly how to handle me. I was so aware of him as a man and of me as a woman when we were together. I've never felt as feminine as I did when I was with him. The way he looked at me, the way he touched me, his strength, his protectiveness – everything about him made me melt like warm butter. I wanted to crawl inside him; I couldn't get close enough. That's what it feels like to me – to be taken in hand... so thoroughly taken in hand.

As I said, he didn't spank me often, but I did notice that he patted my bottom a lot, and for some reason that made me feel submissive to him. I'm not sure why, but it did. I think maybe it's because I knew instinctively that those pats could become spanks if I wasn't careful. LOL! There were so many little things that he did that made me aware of his control, and thus made me feel submissive to him. This may sound odd to some, but even the way that he would pick me up and so gently lay me down on the bed when he was going to make love with me made me feel so feminine and submissive. The feel of his powerful body on top of mine, and that pure male look of possession in his eyes when he took me left me in no doubt that I belonged to him. I gave to him what I've never been able to give any man before or since – my full and complete surrender. I hope that one day, I'll experience that wonderful feeling again with a special man. :)

Laura

Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
The subjection of women
Looking into the mirror of life
Help! The one I love nowadays rarely wants sex!
Make each other feel the luckiest person alive!
An iron hand in a velvet glove
The submissive alpha female
Is there consent?
Have you captured her mind?
Power connectivity
The missionary position

2005 Oct 17 - 23:41 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

I can strongly relate

I never realized I was testing a guy until recently. I used to chew them up and spit them out, so to speak, until I came across this really strong guy, who did not mince his words, did not pretend, said what he thought - and I just melted.

I do think, that I am a strong woman and appreciate a strong personality in a guy.... someone who is at least as strong as I am and who can handle me, sees through me, and knows how to guide my moods.

I have nothing against spanking, but isn't it so much exciting to be drawn in line with a gesture or a few words?

by tabata on 2005 Oct 20 - 13:18 | reply to this comment

More exciting

Yes, I find that actually. It is more exciting when my husband quells mutiny with just a few words, or sometimes just a look. Spanking never made any difference to how I felt or what mood I was in, but that few words or that look can do it.

by Louise C on 2005 Oct 21 - 05:00 | reply to this comment

Mutual testing and control his way

A man acting firm with his woman is the way to separate the contenders from the pretenders for a Taken In Hand relationship. When the woman melts like butter to a man's firm behavior (i.e., "it's my way or the highway, take it or leave it"), the two might be meant for each other because he is asserting his male authority over her and she is accepting it. A non-Taken In Hand woman will run in the other direction under these circumstances.

The firm-behavior approach also sorts out differences in control style preferences. If the man prefers physical control as his style (e.g., spankings), for example, he needs to find a woman who either likes or tolerates the physical treatment. If the man prefers non-physical control as his style (e.g., words and glances), on the other hand, he needs to find a woman who also likes or tolerates words and glances to keep her in line.

Because of the socialization process men and women undergo today while growing up (i.e., equality of genders in all aspects of life), it may take a man awhile to develop the self-confidence needed to be the head of household. But it also takes a woman awhile to develop the self-confidence needed to let a man be the head of household. She will have to accept the fact that he will lead the household his way, which may not necessarily be her way.

Having the woman test the man periodically does him much good because it allows him to evaluate and further develop his leadership skills. Having a doormat as a follower doesn't say much about his leadership skills because there is no need to grow. But having an alpha female follow his lead is a compliment. It says to both him and her that he knows what he is doing and her acceptance of him as the head of household is an endorsement of his abilities.

by Need2Have_Control on 2009 Apr 18 - 02:13 | reply to this comment

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