Natural flow

There is a natural flow to Taken in Hand relationships. These are not forced issues.

Just as a woman can be unnaturally submissive—doting on a man's every whim—so too can a man be unnaturally dominant in demanding that his every whim be satisfied. Taken in Hand is about the relationship not about the self.

For the man, there are times to take a stand and not budge one inch. At other times, it does not much matter.

Only an absolute fool thinks that he will be in charge of everything all the time. The challenge is to separate the wheat—the things that count—from the rest of the stuff—the stuff that does not matter.

Genuinely putting the woman first is seldom a mistake.

For example, there have been times when I have been quite bossy and demanded that my wife purchase new underwear. I have, literally, taken her to the store to purchase new bras.

The concerns cannot be superficial—telling a woman what to wear and when to wear it. It must be authentic—from the heart. Whether taking a woman to the store to purchase new knickers or telling her to take them off for a spanking, a woman has to know that a man honestly cares about her and their relationship more than his boutades.


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Buying underwear

My husband has frequently taken me to the shops and demanded that I purchase underwear too, but in his case he is generally thinking of himself rather than me! When he stops taking an interest in my knickers, I will know that the marriage is over.

And my boyfriend would probab

And my boyfriend would probably prefer it if I didn't wear them at all (something about "easy access" :))

I do agree though that knowing that whatever he is asking me to do is for my benefit/our benefit is what makes this all acceptable to me. My boyfriend is rarely bossy. He lets me make my own decisions because he knows he can trust me. On the rare occassions that he does get a little bossy I always comment on it, and he always responds correctly with: "yeah, but you like it." And he's right. I love having a man who will stand up for us.