How would you describe your husband?
This is how I describe mine, my friend, my lover, my rock. How do you describe yours?
He has every quality that makes for the best alpha man. He is kind, loving, and sweet and playful. He is strong, protective and takes no nonsense. I could see this all in him from the very first day.
I think being a good leader requires a lot more than just the ability to spank. Anyone can spank! It takes a real man to know when to and when not to. To know what works the best and what to toss in the dumpster and not be afraid to do it.
My husband knows me better than I know myself. He is not afraid to show his gentle side and that is the side that shows 99% of the time. He is not afraid to let me voice my opposition to something he says or does and is willing and open to discuss anything. Even when my views are totally the opposite of his.
If he wants or expects something and I just don't ever in this lifetime see it happening, I tell him and he is understanding and doesn't force the issue. He has the authority in our house but he doesn't use it in ways that will not suit us both or that will put unnecessary stress on me.
He leads with quiet authority. I mean, you know it's there but it's not shoved in your face. With my husband, his dominance is seen in everything he does in and out of the home. He could not hide it if he tried, it's all in the way he carries himself. He is respected at work by his employees not due to his overbearing presence but because of his quiet and gentle ways of dealing with people. He always wants to know the 'whys' of mistakes and how next time a different approach can be taken and he will be the first one in line to help when you do find a new way to go about things.
This is how he leads at home and at work. The kids and I respond and respect him not because he points out what we did wrong and how we broke the rules, but because he shows us how to look inside of ourselves and figure out what the heck made us do what we did and how it effected everyone. To me, that is a lot harder than submitting to any punishment and really puts us on the road to not repeating past mistakes. Not because we are doing things to avoid a punishment but because we now know what triggered it, why we reacted like we did and how to respond next time.
My husband may take the lead, but he makes me responsible for myself. Not that he is not there every step of the way, gently guiding and encouraging, he is and that's one of the things I love the most about him. He is ready and willing to jump in and take the wheel if need be but he would much rather I figure it out myself and he has shown me how to do that time and time again.
Before I met him I never considered myself a strong woman. I always thought that I needed someone to do things for me or tell me what to do. He showed me just how strong I am and that I can do anything that I set my mind to. With his strong but gentle ways he opened doors inside of me that were closed for years. He brought out the strong, loving, special woman that he fell in love with for me to see and get to know. He showed me that it is ok to be afraid of things that you tucked down inside but it was not ok to not deal with them and slowly he is helping me release those demons once and for all.
He is not perfect and at times makes me madder than can be. He is very stubborn and watches the worst programs on TV, but who wants a perfect man?