Loving the missionary position may be your first clue

Loving the missionary position may be your first clue

I'm still very new to this type of (admitted) relationship. I believe I've always craved this dynamic, but couldn't name it, and could never bring myself to ask for it, so it mostly found expression in sex.

I'm still in analysis stage, and putting together what I think may be reasons, but my love of the missionary position was my first inkling of these feelings, having the man on top, and not feeling demeaned, but protected and safe, with him very close, and able to shield me from things, hold me, etc. I liked the intimacy of being able to whisper in his ear some yummy naughtiness.

Feeling his strength, his masculinity is a huge part of the experience, it's like he's strong for a reason, because I need him to be, because I need him, and it's a tremendous turn on.

I know, women aren't supposed to want protection, we're supposed to want to go out and wrestle problems to the ground, but I've done that a lot, and had to deny a lot of my softness to make it possible.

Hopefully in reading this site, I'll be able to reconcile my urges, upbringing, and personality, but for now I'm having a great time reading the stories.

Elly

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Comments

His protection and control

Hi I've been reading this site for awhile but never posted a comment before. Your post really was true for me. I'm a very independant person, I bought my own house before I met my guy, I work a demanding job and I can run with the guys in bike races. When I met him though I finally found someone who could earn my respect and whose leadership I trusted enough to fully commit myself to in this type of relationship. And no matter what we do physically when he's on top of me in the missionary position I feel home! Its so wonderful, I'm with you, I thought I shouldn't need that feeling of being protected. I'm so happy now. That comfort and protection is a wonderful thing and being in that position always brings out the most intense feelings of it.

First expression in sex...

for me as well. I have always loved the missionary position for all the reasons you stated. Welcoming his control in bed was easy—being under the power and control of a masculine man throwing me about from position to position, owning me, using me and using his mastery to bring me pleasure. Ahhh....wonderful....

Growing up in a time when women were taught to slay their own dragons was quite confusing to me. I can and do manage my life, work and money very well. I am independent and strong but equally soft, feminine and girlish when it comes to men. This has confused some men, (the weaker ones who were attracted to the strong woman), and they didn't know what to do with the "girl". Others were what I thought I wanted (they were attracted to the girl in me) but they turned out to be controlling and domineering and tried to stamp out my strength...

It's taken me many years and a failed marriage to understand my own complex personality and the kind of man I desperately need.
I want a strong gentleman who will cherish me, protect me, adore me, own me and I will be his lovely, spunky girl with a desire to please him. Well, sometimes I may put up a bit of a fight ;) but he will always be stronger than me. He will love to remind me of that strength in physical and sexual ways when I challenge or disappoint him as well.

And my respect, love and adoration for him will soar!

strength and girlishness

For a long time I wondered why no man seemed to want both sides of me, my strength and my girlishness. After a terrible marriage where my husband tried to kill everything that was strong about me in order to feel like he was the man of the house, I realized that the reason no man I had met had been what I needed was that I had not met a man who was stronger than I was, or if I had, I had been to shy to say anything! this had led to me being with weak men who either wanted me to wear the pants or tried to knock me down enough where they would be stronger!

Enter my sweetheart, who swept me off my feet by engaging both my girlish need for guidance and my womanly strength in a battle royal, which I finally and joyfully lost. His overwhelming strength and power make even mine pale in comparison.—sigh—such bliss to finally be in my place where I belong.

Missionary

I like the missionary position, but I can't say it makes me feel protected particularly. I just like the sensation of my husband being on top, being penetrated etc. Also I am a pretty lazy person and the missionary position requires very little effort on my part.

Louise

Very true

As a single guy, I carefully watch how my lover responds to the missionary position. How much is she enjoying the act and why? Is it just sex or something more intense?

I will often ask her later how she felt and why. Her answers will not always be clear or even understood by her but they are always interesting.

Chuck

i agree with you

Feeling him on top of me is ultimately the most intimate experience I get, being so open and vulnerable to his control. But more than that is never pulling away from him no matter what he asks. When we were first married I was scared (he was my first and only) and not sure of things. He was patient and kind and over time I learned that his control was nothing to fear at all and I should not feel embarassed or afraid. I know that as a man there are things that he needs beyond that one position and he has taught me these things, shown me a better way to say it. I give of me whatever he wants and I trust him not to hurt me or cheapen our love. His body responding with pleasure makes me more fulfilled than anything I know. Feeling his pure physical strength coming through his sexual release and knowing that I can give that to him is fulfilling enough on its own. And women have no power? When I pick up his cues that he wants me to lead, of course we go back to the basics, but sometimes I even surprise myself now. When I think of what he has given our family, how hard he works, the children he has given me and the life I get to share with him, it is pure pleasure for me to go to him when he wants me and give my body over to him. Thanks for your sharing this beautiful topic.

For the love of missionaries and their positions

Elly,

I loved what you wrote and like you I too have always craved to be Taken In Hand never being able to name it as well. Who said women aren’t supposed to want protection? God made us to want and need protection, I mean there is a reason why we are the “weaker” sex you know!

I commend you for sharing your experiences because it is what I have wanted and like you I too love missionary for all the reasons you mentioned. To me this site is a godsend!

Caramel