In a relationship with a woman, I have a compelling need and desire to maintain pervasive control. But it is not domineering or oppressive. And I have no desire to micromanage my woman's life. In fact, this constant energy is rather subtle, and it is also full of kindness and its focus is her well-being. But it is absolute, and she and I always know it and feel it. It is conveyed by every look and every touch. And my woman experiences this active control constantly. It is a tingle of potential, an absolute certainty that I have the power to do whatever I want whenever I want.
From within it comes the nurturing and the spoiling, and my absolute delight in enabling the woman I love to achieve all of her ambitions and dreams and become more with me than she ever could have without me. And from within it comes all of the intensity that she can handle.
And while I am quite decisive and firm, it is always open to my woman to change my mind through a compelling argument supported by objective evidence. (I am rational, after all!) But becoming angry, and yelling or crying, or becoming petulant and sulky would never affect my decision, and could only lead to a spanking.
But, most of the time, the woman with whom I am in a relationship is able to get whatever she wants whenever she wants simply by telling me or showing me that it would make her happy.
I need to be in control, I need intensity and, most importantly, I need for my woman to be happy. And I need to be the reason for her happiness.
I need for her to always come to me for acceptance, understanding and support, regardless of the circumstances or the situation. And I need the reason for this to be that I have consistently shown her that doing so will always make everything better. This gives many a man a sense of power, but for me it has nothing to do with power. Instead, it brings me joy because I am bringing peace and security into her life. And, more than any other factor, it validates me as a man.
I bend my woman to my will only in ways that are important to me, or that excite or please me. There is none of the nonsense of doing something arbitrary just to show her that I can.
That I could if I wanted to is a foregone conclusion, which is reinforced constantly in reality. But the details are like a dance in which we respond to each other from moment to moment. And I am always looking to respond to her needs of the moment. But the choice is not hers and she is compelled to obey, and that is the key. In that sense, being stripped and then given a bubble bath followed by a sensual massage in a room full of scented candles involves being controlled as much as being stripped and then whipped. But, depending on her mood, she might resist one more than the other. :-)
If she were not feeling well and needed to rest for her own good, she would have to submit to being waited on hand and foot, even though I suspect that her natural inclination is to keep going until she becomes quite ill. But, again, I wouldn’t give her that choice.
In a relationship, I take my woman and use her for pleasure in various ways quite frequently. And, perhaps, forcing her to reveal herself through all of the ways in which she can be brought to wild abandon puts her under my control even more than merely throwing her on the bed, ripping her clothes off and... .