I have often read women pine for a dominant man. Of course he should have all the right qualities. He should be loving, firm, sexy and someone naturally dominant would be perfect.
But here is what life has taught me and what I have told friends and internet friends who are single and looking.
When you meet someone, it's almost impossible to find out immediately if he is dominant. In fact that's not what is the most important quality anyway.
Everything in a successful marriage has one thing in common. They love each other. Pure, true love and devotion. So much can be overcome once this has been established. Once a relationship is established, then the points in question can be looked for. Can you submit? Can or is he dominant? Is there wiggle room in your basic natures to accommodate what you want or need? Is there a place to grow and change, for the positive? I think this is what needs establishing before anyone gets controlled or dominated.
We have often read of couples who are in long term marriages and one of them brings this to the table. And it works. After peaks and valleys, they find a path. And why does it work? Because there was always the denomination of love. Now, if you are in a marriage where you love your partner—not a passion, but some other love—this may or may not work. It still depends on basic character and natures.
But when you are in a budding relationship, I still say it's the love that will endure. Dominance and discipline can come and go, depending on circumstance and life. But love will see you through. Look for that, and the rest is about honesty and being forthright and playful. Then everything will fall into place. At least in my opinion.
With a foundation, you have trust and deep love. While intimacy may mean being naked and having sex, that is not the real deep meaning of it.
To give your trust, your vulnerability to someone, that is intimate. To open yourself and your body to someone who loves you is far the greater risk than having a quickie with someone you'll have the choice of seeing again or not.
So much of being Taken In Hand starts with a mind-frame. A woman may give her submission, but it's when she trusts her partner/husband to love her, she is giving her submission with the desire to give even more than she knows how. He will prod and evoke. She will bend and submit. Very erotic, very intimate, very trusting and full of love. Can this be done with someone who doesn't love you? I seriously doubt it