Wives who want their husbands to take them in hand sometimes make mistakes that jeopardize their goal. It often sounds to me like they have not really given control over to their spouse. They print out articles from Taken In Hand that appealed to them. They sometimes even make up a contract of behaviors they want or need to change and ask their husband to sign off on it. They drop big hints to their husband to get him to punish them. Worse, some women behave badly in the hope of discipline. They get frustrated when their husband doesn't behave the way they want him to.
If you are a woman wanting your husband to take you in hand, and he's willing to do so or at least hasn't pushed your ideas away, then the two of you might be able to put together a Taken In Hand relationship. But for your husband to take you in hand, you have to stop telling him what to do. If you want him to be the captain of the ship, you have to let him take the wheel. Send your husband to the Taken In Hand site. Print out articles that don't appeal to you as well as some that do, and discuss them with him if he is willing. Let him get as much knowledge and feeling for a Taken In Hand relationship as you can. Then sit and talk about what you need and what you want. Make sure you can differentiate the two. But talk about it as two adults, and when neither of you is upset. Let him come up with his own plan of action to ease into a new dynamic for the two of you.
Here are a few pieces of advice from my own marriage and experiences in “converting” my husband to someone interested in this kind of relationship.
1) Men like to fix things. If you go to your man and tell him what's broken (i.e., what needs you have that aren't being met) it is in his basic makeup to want to fix that. And there's a very good chance that he'll come up with a plan or dynamic that will suit you quite well, even if it looks nothing like what you are currently imagining. But going to a man with a bunch of articles and a pre-written contract is not going to appeal to his dominant nature. That's basically handing him a script, saying "Please behave more dominantly, just like this says. Thanks!" If he needs more input or insight into your desires, try talking or writing about fantasies. But giving a man directions on how to take charge just seems to go against the grain of both what you want, and their basic nature.
2) Go slowly. When you are just starting a Taken In Hand relationship, things can get really hot and steamy. This heat and intimacy is precisely why most of us seek out this kind of relationship. But my experience has been that if it gets too hot too fast, that you can't sustain that level of intensity over a long haul, and the relationship starts to fizzle and burn. Rather than going for the gusto on day one, try easing into a new dynamic in your relationship. If it fizzles from going too fast, you can damage the relationship you already have. But by letting both of you work into a new dynamic at your own paces (even if his is slower than yours!), you can keep what you have and improve on it.
3) A lot of us are creatures of habit, and are slow to change. Even if your husband comes up with the best plan in the world, it may take some time for allowing his natural dominance to be at the forefront of his dealings with you to become a habit. He will slip, as will you. Don't slip for the sake of punishment. If you need to be punished, talk to him about your need. Don't try to misbehave into getting one, as that's just trying to wrest control back. If he's agreed to some sort of discipline, and falters, once your feelings are no longer bruised, point out to him what happened and tell him how you wished he had handled it. But try to refrain from telling him what to do all the time to keep you happy.
4) Try to live with his decisions and punishments, even if you don't like them. That's kinda the point of a punishment, is it not?
Good luck with changing your relationship.