My husband is not what some might call “naturally dominant”. What I have determined, however, is that a non-naturally dominant husband can successfully lead a taken in hand relationship, albeit with greater effort. No, I have not found that he changes in to a â€œnaturally dominant,â€ as it would negate the whole meaning of natural, wouldnâ€™t it. Nor does he necessarily allow long dormant dominant abilities to finally rise to the surface (although my husband did grow up in a very liberal New England college town which could suppress any manâ€™s dominant tendencies).
From what I've seen, with the support of his wife unreservedly offering her submission, he can work to develop leadership skills which can flourish in that environment. I am outgoing and a natural leader in many situations and my husband, who is shy by nature, has often tended to lean toward the assistant role.
That said, when we tweak those dynamics by suppressing what seems to us to be natural and he rises to the occasion to confidently take the lead and I humbly step back and follow, there are sparks that fly, the good kind. We both like the results. They are challenging for both of us to arrive at but when he is firm with me, with added disciplinary consequences and I am wholly submissive to him, there is a hard-to-put-my-finger-on connection we seem to achieve and that I have read so much about here.
My point is that neither of us seems to arrive at Taken In Hand naturally, depending on your point of view. Nevertheless, the end justify the means for us, making the effort worth it.