Ah, the Tango…a spicy, sultry, seductive, sensual dance…wherein the man takes in hand his woman and ultimately leads her into submitting to his will as she yields and follows; however, she is not without challenge or resistance to his leading. Is he a man strong enough to soften and conquer her? Is he worthy of her submission?
One can see the steam rising off the two as they generate heat and sparks across the floor. It is vertical lovemaking in motion and even though there are certain steps involved, it visually captures the essence of the sexual dynamic of a Taken In Hand relationship between a man and a woman...from first look to surrender.
The man—I am strong, macho, virile, skilled, self-assured, confident, and taking.
The woman—I am strong, feminine, seductive, arousing, teasing, withholding, and yielding.
The man—You are mine! I will have you!
The woman—Oh? with a feigned lack of interest.
The man—Yes! I will conquer you.
The woman—I don't think so.
The man—Yes! I will take you.
The woman—No, you wouldn't dare.
The man—Yes! I will.
The woman—You brute!
The man—I will.
The woman—Take me, I'm yours!
The man—I have.
Prior to and during part of the 50's most of the dances, including the tango, involved direct male/female physical contact. Dancing was popular and almost everyone knew the steps. Both partners also knew that there was only one who led, the man--and there was only one who followed, the woman (even though she was dancing backwards and in high heels). Both cannot lead. If the man didn't know the steps and didn't know how to lead and the woman didn't know the steps and didn't know how to follow, it would get pretty ugly and awkward out there with toes being stepped on and people getting bumped into…confusion ensued…very frustrating and no fun.
My parents met at a dance 54 years ago and they are still dancing as well as many of their friends. It's a real delight to watch them as they glide so effortlessly across the floor like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Other women like to dance with my dad because he's an excellent dancer. He knows all the steps and he knows how to lead and my mom knows all the steps and she knows how to follow. Dancing has always been a vital part of their lives.
During the last 50 or so years, many types of music have been created--Rock & Roll, Acid Rock, Disco, Pop, Hip Hop, Gangster Rap, Heavy Metal--as well as many social events--the birth control pill, the Hippie Generation, the moon landing, The Vietnam War, demonstrations, assassinations, and Women's Lib, just to name a few. While I like some of the music from these eras, most contact dancing for this generation became almost non-existent because the type of music that was prevalent was hard to dance to. I believe the male-led aspect was somehow lost during this time. Long-live slow dancing, but most dances during the 60's and 70's started to become individual, without contact, and was often in a drug-induced state. It kind of went downhill from there. With the advent of Women's Lib, where most women did not want to follow men, I believe another blow was delivered to male-led relationships. Somehow we forgot all the steps.
Today, there seems to be a resurgence of interest in ballroom/contact dancing, especially the tango, and it will be interesting to see if and how that dynamic will affect the next generation. My youngest son has taken swing and tango lessons and he said that they have helped him become more assured and confident as a man because he has learned how to take the lead. Apparently so, because women enjoy dancing with him, too. I believe he has followed in his grandfather's footsteps.
I've always felt dancing was a great way to know how a man was and as a woman found it very exciting to be in the hands of a man who was skilled in taking control of me without words and in slowly mesmerizing me into submitting to his will…very hot and dreamy.
As on the dance floor, finding a good partner can be a rather difficult process…some men can be too overbearing, can jerk you around and hurt you or are too timid, have two left feet and haven't a clue as to what they are doing. I guess it all depends on what moves you.
Would learning how to dance help both sexes navigate through a Taken In Hand relationship? I don't think it would hurt because…it takes two to tango.