How to understand and appreciate a woman

I am as saddened as the next man when hearing feminist rhetoric about the evil of men. However, I take exception when I see what looks like a dismissal of feminist concerns or portraying men to be more ethical or more right or more capable just because of their gender.

We live in a patriarchal culture and I see no point in arguing that fact. Male values, hierarchical and process-oriented approaches are revered in business and society. Women, bless them, so flexible and adaptable, have managed to not only succeed in our male-oriented culture, but even excel in it. They are a force to be reckoned with, to be respected if not feared, and we men have a choice to make: make allies of them or enemies. Personally, I would much rather have a woman at my side than to face her in battle.

The slowness, the tardiness, of our culture to accept women for who they really are in business and leadership positions, has irreparably harmed all of us.

Emotional athletes and experts in relating, women are on the track of mastering male values and approaches to get ahead in our culture. Before long, the glass ceiling will be shattered by individuals exhibiting male aspects better than most men.

And I weep.

We don’t need more men. We need our women; our wives, our mothers, our sisters, and our daughters. We need to acknowledge and utilize the feminine natural resource so eagerly available to us. We need the voice of reason, of pragmatism, of compassion, of nurture, that we are so sorely lacking today.

Women are the bedrock of civilization. Our patriarchal culture has accomplished wondrous things; we have planted footsteps on the moon, we built the Great Wall, we founded religions and whole nations. And nothing could have been accomplished without our women. We have been, and still are, standing on their shoulders.

In the tree of life, men are the branches, the outshoots, expendable gamblers that may or may not create value for society. Women, however, are the trunk and the roots. Each woman a priceless link in the great chain of mothers, nurturers, and creators. Each woman a doorway into the elemental feminine, our very connection to human society.

I am not a feminist. My motives are purely selfish. The unencumbered female perspective is a resource that we have been discarding for too long. I dearly hope that our patriarchal culture sees and starts to appreciate this treasure sooner than later.

I am not a feminist; in fact, in my personal relationships I would best describe myself as a male chauvinist. I consider my lady’s bottom and hair my personal property and those parts of her can never count on any periods of prolonged dignity. I deny her and compel her and treasure her and cherish her; she is mine and she belongs to me.

But that is the dynamics of a relationship between one man and one woman. I am only happy in a relationship when my lady surrenders to me and thrives on it. But in her professional life, she and her sisters deserves the respect and encouragement they have already earned. Neither the male nor the female approach is superior, but when they connect, when they intermingle, they are unbeatable.

We should be less concerned about what women say and do, and instead work on providing these wonderful creatures the men they truly deserve. You won’t get her respect and admiration just because you are endowed with a Y chromosome. You have to earn her trust. Only when she feels safe with you will you receive the greatest validation a man can hope for: the trust, respect, and admiration of a good woman.

I acknowledge that women do seem irrational and paradoxical to many men. I assure you, however, that appearances can be deceiving. Only if we dismiss women as small men that smell good can we infer male meaning on female communication. Women are deceivingly similar to men on the surface but it would be foolish to assume that we approach our world the same.

A woman’s brain is a massively parallel super-computer and there is no way to express the emotional currents in her heart in such a recent invention as language. Instead, look within you and let the elemental connection you feel with your lady to guide you. Take a leap of faith; she won’t bite you. At least not hard.

Within you, the elemental masculine knows exactly how to connect with her elemental feminine in a way much, much older than language. She won’t surrender to you until you have surrendered to yourself.

And when she surrenders to you, you have finally come home.

Dreamwalker

Taken In Hand Tour start | next

Have you seen the following articles?
Men serve and lead, women receive and obey
The worm turns (a little late, but better late than never!)
Taken In Hand by an ardent feminist
The sexuality of ‘non-sexual’ dominance
The Future of Men, by Marian Salzman, Ira Matathia and Ann O'Reilly: a book review
Tradition, feminism, Victoria and Albert
Is Taken In Hand a political matter?
Who Stole Feminism? by Christina Hoff Sommers: a book review
The Total Woman, by Marabel Morgan: a book review
Has feminism gone too far?

2008 Jun 28 - 10:41 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |

Truly Beautiful

You have written one of the most beautiful posts I have ever had the pleasure to read. I wish every man could read it, everywhere. You hit every nail on the head there ever was or ever will be. Thank you a thousand times, thank you.

LateToTheGate

by Hane on 2008 Jun 29 - 01:34 | login or register to post comments

Beautiful and thank you.

This was inspiration. I never quite thought that I would read something from a man, other than my man, that was this elegant and poignant. While there are many men who abuse women, there are those like yourself who can be strong and possess us without hurting us. Trust, pure trust was the hardest thing I could give him for my background with abusive men, from childhood on, is extensive. It sure felt amazing though to free fall into his arms. Thank you for writing something that validates our abilities, strengths and contributions to the world, past, present and future while still acknowledging the safety of coming home to the men who owns, cherished us and will keep us safe.

by Jesspuppy on 2008 Jul 5 - 16:40 | login or register to post comments

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