How to create an account

Note that this site is accessible to all whether or not you are registered. You only need to be registered if you wish to post. The instructions for creating a new account are below, but please do read this page before you register.

We are delighted if you want to register on the site, irrespective of your particular ideas and preferences. Do not for a moment think that only those who have Taken In Hand inclinations are welcome on the site. Do be aware, though, that this is not a sex site, a spanking site, a DD site or a D/s site; it is a site specifically focused on the Taken In Hand relationship, and in particular, on the philosophy and psychology of the Taken In Hand relationship.

The Taken In Hand relationship is a fully-committed wholehearted sexually-exclusive marriage in which the husband wears the trousers and is firmly and actively in charge (to his wife's delight!)—and he puts his wife and their relationship first. Putting her and the relationship first is the key to creating a marriage in which the man is in control in a good, healthy and sustainable way.

Taken In Hand is neither all about the man, as in some relationships in which the man has control, nor is it all about the woman, as in some DD relationships—it is for both.

Why create a Taken In Hand relationship? Because for those of us who like this kind of thing, it creates a white-hot sexual connection, and thus a rock-solid permanent bond between husband and wife. If you're going to be married, why not make it a happy one?

If the Taken In Hand idea is not fun and erotic for you, it is not for you! Taken In Hand is not compulsory!

You may be surprised to learn that most Taken In Hand wives don't claim to be submissive, and that we don't particularly advocate submissiveness, except perhaps in the case of domineering women. In such cases a bit of submissiveness might help to empower their husbands and bring their relationship into balance. But most women reading this site aren't like that, and were they to become more submissive, far from pleasing their husbands it would risk causing their husbands to lose attraction to them.

What decent strong take-charge men want is not so much a woman who will slavishly serve and obey them without question, but a woman who is (in addition to the obvious things) interesting, one who, when he pushes, will, with a twinkle in her eye, push back a little. If there is no pushback, then, assuming he cares about the woman, he has to be careful not to push too much, or he might push her over. That's no fun! Having to take care not to push her over is stressful, not relaxing. It means he can't be his full self with her.

Think of it this way: if you're a big strong powerful elephant, and you are with a tiny mouse, you will always have to be taking care not to step on the little mouse. It's not relaxing. It's not fun. It's not exciting. How are you, an elephant, going to have an intense sexual relationship with a mouse? For most elephants, it is much more exciting and relaxing to be with a fellow elephant than a little mouse. With a fellow elephant you can relax and go for it without fear of crushing the mouse. The male elephant tends to prefer another elephant over a mouse—a female elephant he can sexually overpower and take in hand if necessary, but a fellow elephant nevertheless, not a submissive mouse he will have to take care not to step on.

Moreover, being very submissive can make the single woman seeking a man seem a bit desperate and lacking in healthy boundaries, significantly decreasing her attractiveness to men who want a relationship, and increasing the number of self-serving narcissists she attracts. Obviously, most men are lovely, but the tiny minority who aren't naturally home in on very compliant women.

Men sometimes feel burdened by submissiveness on a woman's part, because if she needs to serve and obey without question, there is pressure on him to supply the needed orders. The submissive woman with her need to serve and obey is thus in a sense, in control. Taken In Hand inclined men don't like that. They prefer to be the one wearing the trousers, and they are not into performing a stereotypical “dominant” role in someone else's play. They know that stereotypical relationships are lifeless ones. They prefer ones that evolve organically.

How to create an account

If you would like to create an account on this site, choose a normal-sounding name like "Bill T" or "Mary F" (or "John and Jane" if you want a couple account) and enter it in the "username" field here, enter a valid email address (we will never send you spam or give out your address), complete the captcha and click the "create new account" button.

Note that if you don't choose a normal-sounding name, your account will not be activated.

Spammers, please note that there is no spam on this site and there never will be, and if you attempt to post spam your ip address will be banned.