Note that this site is accessible to all whether or not you are registered. You only need to be registered if you wish to post. The instructions for creating a new account are below, but please do read this page before you register.
We are delighted if you want to register on the site, irrespective of your particular ideas and preferences. Do not for a moment think that only those who have Taken In Hand inclinations are welcome on the site. Do be aware, though, that this is not a sex site, a spanking site, a DD site or a D/s site; it is a site specifically focused on the Taken In Hand relationship, and in particular, on the philosophy and psychology of the Taken In Hand relationship.
The Taken In Hand relationship is a fully-committed wholehearted sexually-exclusive marriage in which the husband wears the trousers and is firmly and actively in charge (to his wife's delight!)—and he puts his wife and their relationship first. Putting her and the relationship first is the key to creating a marriage in which the man is in control in a good, healthy and sustainable way.
Taken In Hand is neither all about the man, as in some relationships in which the man has control, nor is it all about the woman, as in some DD relationships—it is for both.
Why create a Taken In Hand relationship? Because for those of us who like this kind of thing, it creates a white-hot sexual connection, and thus a rock-solid permanent bond between husband and wife. If you're going to be married, why not make it a happy one?
If the Taken In Hand idea is not fun and erotic for you, it is not for you! Taken In Hand is not compulsory!
You may be surprised to learn that most Taken In Hand wives don't claim to be submissive, and that we don't particularly advocate submissiveness, except perhaps in the case of bossy, shrewish, control-freak women who have a tendency to emasculate men! In such cases a bit of submissiveness might help to empower their husbands and bring their relationship into balance. But most women reading this site aren't like that, and were they to become more submissive, far from pleasing their husbands it would risk causing their husbands to lose attraction to them.
What decent strong take-charge men want is not so much a woman who will slavishly serve and obey them without question, but a woman who is (in addition to the obvious things) interesting, one who, when he pushes, will push back a little. If there is no pushback, then, assuming he cares about the woman, he has to be careful not to push too much, or he might push her over. That's no fun! Having to take care not to push her over is stressful, not relaxing. It means he can't be his full self with her.
Think of it this way: if you're a big strong powerful elephant, and you are with a tiny mouse, you will always have to be taking care not to step on the little mouse. It's not relaxing. It's not fun. It's not exciting. How are you, an elephant, going to have an intense sexual relationship with a mouse? For most elephants, it is much more exciting and relaxing to be with a fellow elephant than a little mouse. With a fellow elephant you can relax and go for it without fear of crushing the mouse. The male elephant tends to prefer another elephant over a mouse—a female elephant he can sexually overpower and take in hand if necessary, but a fellow elephant nevertheless, not a submissive mouse he will have to take care not to step on.
Moreover, being very submissive can make the single woman seeking a man seem a bit desperate and lacking in healthy boundaries, significantly decreasing her attractiveness to men who want a relationship, and increasing the number of self-serving narcissists she attracts. Obviously, most men are lovely, but the tiny minority who aren't naturally home in on very compliant women.
Men sometimes feel burdened by submissiveness on a woman's part, because if she needs to serve and obey without question, there is pressure on him to supply the needed orders. The submissive woman with her need to serve and obey is thus in a sense, in control. Taken In Hand inclined men don't like that. They prefer to be the one wearing the trousers, and they are not into performing a stereotypical “dominant” role in someone else's play. They know that stereotypical relationships are lifeless ones. They prefer ones that evolve organically.
How to create an account
If you would like to create an account on this site, send an email message to the email address at the foot of this post. Make the subject line of your message: "Account sought for Taken In Hand". In the body of the message state whether you want a male or a female account name (it must be anonymous), tell us where/how you heard about Taken In Hand (if via another site, which site?), and write enough to enable us to distinguish you from a person employed to seek registration for spammers. Unfortunately there are people doing this, so it is not enough to write a generic sentence that you like the site. You do not have to agree with Taken In Hand to register and post. We are just trying to distinguish you from someone employed by spammers.
When we receive the above information you will be asked to confirm that you did in fact request an account, and if you reply to that message, an account will then be created for you. The message you will get giving you the details of your account will have some links at the top of the message that won't work. Simply scroll down the message below the links, to see our message to you which will include your login details.
It is our policy never to give out or sell your email address. Nor will you ever receive any spam from us.