How Taken in Hand has transformed my wife

Thank you for creating this website. It has changed my wife completely and it is in account of your labor of love that made her who she is now and it has made both of us very happy and content.

I have been married to my wife for 7 years. When I was courting her then, I knew her to be an assertive 23 year old woman and sometimes, quite a nagger.. but it did not stop me from proposing marriage to her. A few years after marriage, I questioned whether or not I had made the right decision in marrying her.

Being notoriously independent, she insists on having a job right after having our first child. I didn't mind at first because I love her, but we just could not afford the exorbitant fees that personal midwives require. So we sat down and talked. I told her that she needs to be home during the first few years of the baby's life. My wife, being the assertive woman as she is, nagged for an hour and downright refused.

I didn't want to raise any issues with her, so I went to bed feeling so angry and bitter after this argument. Little did I know that when I fell asleep, she logged on to the internet and by chance, found your website. Later on, I found out that she had spent around 4 hours reading through the articles of the contributors.

The very next morning, my wife served me breakfast in bed (to my surprise) and told me how much she loves me and our baby. After that, she looks me up with tearful eyes and said how sorry she was for being overbearing and that she deserved to be punished for the pain she caused me. She tendered her resignation, willingly deferring to my wishes to be a housewife and take care of our child.

I can't recall any significant argument between us since my wife came across your website. It has completely transformed her authoritarian nature into one that is gentle, pleasing, and submissive. Petty spats, however, are inevitable, and when that happens, I give her a sound spanking and she kneels down before me with her head bent down in submission. It never fails to melt my heart. And by being submissive, she is making our relationship stronger day by day.

Once again, thank you for your website. It has certainly made our family more complete, happier, and stronger. And yes, I did marry the right person, and I would never trade her in for another woman.


Take the Taken In Hand tour


Head bent in submission

I loved reading Jerome's account of his wife's eventual submission to him, and her giving in to his wish for her to be at home and to look after him and the baby.

My story is so similar—reading this site has made my relationship with my husband right and clear. I too realise that what I have wanted all along was to have a clear idea of my role in life. Now I have it, to obey my husband and to love him by doing his will. There can only be happiness from now on and I am sure that when Jerome's wife and I bow our heads in deference to our men, yes it is a kind of surrender, but it is a huge gain too. We have gained freedom in becoming what we always were underneath but never realised—happily submissive but loved women.

The sharp pain of a spanking does not last long, but the glow of pleasure as we see the deep content on our husbands' faces as we bring them total love makes it worthwhile.

Freedom in Submission

It's fascinating that women find themselves more free when discovering their inner submissiveness. Society teaches so much the opposite, yet women who follow what modern society espouses, find themselves so stressed out in comparison. The harmony between the sexes has been lost. When I'm on the train everyday going or leaving from work, I make sure to give a seat to a female, and many times they take it with delight, but there is always an element of surprise, like this gesture is not common anymore. And unfortunately is not. I look at young guys totally insensitive to even an elderly woman who can barely stand on the train, and they just sit there lazily. I think in our so called "progress", in some ways, we have lost more than gain.
So, in women re-discovering their submissiveness and incorporating it in their lives, they must feel a tremendous liberating pleasure that is free from the stresses of modern society.

I don't like your post Jerome

You don't seem to cherish your wife. I read it as a report on buying a piece of goods, and how it turned to be a good purchase.


I didn't think it read that w

I didn't think it read that way at all. It sounds to me like he appreciated his wife's decision to defer to his wishes, and appreciates her desire to continue to do so. Never in reading Jerome's post did I get the feeling that he was being cold or insincere, nor did he lead me to believe he did not love or cherish his wife.


I disagree, I found Jerome's article very loving. His wife is the one who found Taken in Hand and she initiated the change on her own. She has learned to cherish him. What is wonderful is they have learned to cherish each other.

I read it once more

and still I feel Jerome to be cold. He writes nothing about his change. Was not there any? A what about his wife's nature, why did she want to stay in her job?



That's one of the things that is very important to me
about Taken In Hand, that it is a mutual endeavour of both myself and my husband, we both try harder to understand each other and to get along better. I feel that it should involve both partner equally.

That is why I am a little disturbed by accounts of people taking to a Taken In Hand way of life in which it appears that one person is shouldering all the blame for whatever has been wrong in the relationship, and one person only is changing and trying to accomodate the needs of the other.


A lovely description of how you can appreciate someone who is takeninhand. I liked the kneeling part. It reminded me of time with someone very dominant.

Quite a number of men in charge can see it is better for women to work but couples must work these things out for themselves. I have always worked but that does not stop me being submissive of course. Financial submission is much more dangerous than complete physical submission because most men won't kill but many make foolish career mistakes, stock market misjudgments (see post above) and putting all your financial eggs in the male basket isn't always wise.

Any reason you didn't give up work rather than her by the way?

[Lecture over...]


After reading it again and again I do not see anything particularly cold with this post. What I see in this post is that she had a revelation about what was going on in her marriage and she made the decision to change.

When we began a taken in hand relationship I was the one who had to change not my husband. I was authoritarian and bossy. I decided to change and it has been a process for me. I also found the site by chance while on the internet.


I think I would find it very difficult to cope with being married to a perfect man. If I felt that all the need for change was on my side and none at all on his I think I would find it too much of a strain to live up to. A man needs a few faults and imperfections to make him liveable with, for me anyway.

In our marriage it's always been my husband who was bossy and authoritarian, he still is, but now he does it slightly differently and it's made a big difference to us. I like the fact that our Taken In Hand relationship is a mutual endeavour, not just a matter of me changing in order to accomodate his needs. Taken In Hand is about making both of us happy, not just me trying to please him, and that's what I like about it so much. He tries to please me as much as I try to please him, and we make each other happier as a result.

Taken In Hand is a two-way street for us, and I think I really like it being like that. If all the onus for change was on me, I'm not sure I could cope with it. To feel that only I was at fault, and that only I needed to change, would be too heavy a burden for me.

Oh, Give the guy a break!!!

He is commenting on the significant changes that he sees in his wife. He speaks of his tenderness toward her as a result.

For someone who had second guessed his choice of a bride, it seems to me that he too changed. He developed a very strong, but tender, side for his wife. And, HE IS GIVING HER THE CREDIT. She is the one who initiated the change, and he is responding to that change.

She is happy. He is happy. As the car commercial (at least in the States) jingles: "Who could ask for anything more?"

Sam (of Sam & Missy)

A strong assertive woman who

A strong assertive woman who is something of a nagger while courting may not seem quite as problematic as the same woman once you are married. People quite often expect that their mate will become different after the I dos, and especially after the arrival of children.

Also, the same question could be asked of many woman here:if you didn't think he was dominant enough when you met him, why get into a relationship with him in the first place? The same number of women, it seems to me, have talked about marriages or relationships on the brink of failure until they discovered this way of relating to each other. They like the change in the relationship and the change in the partner. People fall in love for a multitude of reasons. People change certain aspects of their characters over time, that doesn't mean they've changed the whole essence of who they are.

Maybe she was a strong, assertive, nagging, sweet, loving, funloving, highspirited woman that he couldn't help but fall in love with...but oh how nice to have the nagging dissappear, and to have his assertive woman allow him to assert himself every now and again as well. It has been discussed here before that a submissive woman can be a very strong person. I would argue that most mothers are very strong people. I don't think he really gave us enough information about his wife here for us to conclude that she is now a doormat.

I don't think that a woman who was once strong suddenly becomes a doormat because she read a website one night. I think it's more likely that she remained strong and asserted herself in a way that she felt would make the relationship better.