After the demise of my marriage (a long boring story) I was determined for my next relationship to be different. I realized that if my next relationship was to be a happy one then I needed to find a woman who desired domestic discipline. I started my search for a woman with this thought in mind. I was blessed to find such a woman and we have been living in a domestic discipline relationship for more than five years now.
The most difficult part of this journey was getting started. Entertaining a domestic discipline fantasy and living in such a relationship are not the same thing. Like many others, we went through a number of trials, starting and stopping domestic discipline several times in the first year before we both worked through the details. Any relationship is bound to have some trying moments and a domestic discipline one is no exception. We have arrived at a point in our relationship that we could not imagine living any other way. Since we were both interested in pursuing such a relationship perhaps our domestic discipline journey was somewhat easier than those who are trying to institute one after many years of marriage.
My major concern when first starting out was learning how and when to use discipline. It is one thing to fantasize about giving a disciplinary spanking, it is another matter to actually give one, especially to the woman I love. Erotic spanking was always easy, but a disciplinary spanking, which most women here want, was not so easy. What I learned over time was that my wife wanted me to be firm. She needed me to take charge and be the head of the household... not as a game or a role play, but for real. Intellectually, I understood this and wanted this, but finding the resources within myself and being bold enough to act took me a while to feel comfortable in that role.
My wife says I took to it like a duck to water lol, but I am not sure woman understand that in this current cultural climate claiming to be the head of the household is seen not only as anachronistic, but also abusive. What I came to learn was that being the head of the household was not so much about being like Father Knows Best, but rather a matter of truly understanding how my dominance/masculinity and her submission/femininity worked together to meet our individual needs.
Living together as husband and wife in a domestic discipline relationship has made us closer than I ever thought I could be with another person. The trust she has in me is truly humbling. To us this is not just about a man spanking a woman, but how we relate to each other on a daily basis. For us this is not (just) about me spanking my naughty wife (not that there is anything wrong with that lol) but rather is about how we connect as a man and a woman. Through domestic discipline we are able to express and accept our true natures.
The benefits have been profound. Even after five years we still behave like newly weds. She feels secure and more feminine in knowing that I am in charge and I proudly, without shame or self-consciousness, am able to be true to my masculine nature. What a relief! I must also add that I have gained a loving and caring wife who spoils me rotten. Who would've ever thought that something so seemingly simple could have such profound impact on our union? Go figure....
We use very traditional disciplinary methods. Most typical are long over the knee spankings with a few small light weight paddles or my hand. We have experimented with several implements, but prefer these implements primarily because they do not leave the kind of marks and bruising other implements do. Sometimes, depending on the situation, I incorporate corner-time in the disciplinary sessions.
Ultimately, I think everyone entertaining this lifestyle should ask themselves how does this help us to become more connected and enhance intimacy. In spite of how it may seem to others, this is not about oppression or limiting my wife, instead it is about meeting needs and finding fulfillment in each other.