Yesterday, after reading many scenarios of other couples who are working out the realities of their Taken in Hand relationships, my husband and I decided to e-mail each other a written fantasy while my husband ("Beast" to my "Belle") was at work. He wrote in the first and second person a scene that he imagined between us, “imagine I’m doing this, and then you...” while I wrote a story, full of detail, in the first and third person, “I said...., but then he....” It was very hot, though we both recognized that the intensity level at which we were writing was way beyond where we are at the moment of our relationship (which seems almost like a new marriage). Still, it kept us feeling very connected to each other erotically all day, and excited to see each other when he came home.
Last night, Beast decided to spank me, not because of anything in particular I had done, but because he just felt like it. He also felt annoyed at my critical tone over dinner, and let me know it with a rapid set of spanks to my bare flesh. It was a small thing, but a sign of a much bigger issue we need to address over time. Peeling the onion of my dominant nature to get to my softness. Soon he felt a change in mood towards the erotic, and went with his impulses. He is reveling in his new-found sense of freedom, and I in my new-found sense of being married to a man. Later, we decided to sit in bed and watch a bit of the movie “G.I. Jane,” so that I could have the satisfaction of watching a woman kick some ass for a while.
I don’t know who reached out first, but at some point I realized we were holding hands. The realization came on me slowly, but I began to focus on the fact that his warm, strong hand was holding mine while we watched a movie. Understand, this just never happened before. We would watch a movie together in the family room more as an avoidance of intimacy than an opportunity to be close—and we never held hands. Now, looking at his hand holding mine, I lost track of the movie for a minute—the feeling I had of overwhelming comfort and warmth, knowing that I was holding this hand that just moments before had spanked me hard and then gave me intense pleasure, was deep and warm and very moving.
We have a long way to go. We need advice and encouragement. The onion Beast has the job of peeling is large and densely packed. I am still in many ways stronger and more sure of myself than he is. He needs to step up and I need to step down, and both of us feel our tasks to be immeasurably hard. We know it will be a long process. But for the first time in ten years I feel like I am in capable hands. I want to thank you all so much for sharing your ideas, your thoughts and even your intimacies, as they have helped to save a marriage.