He owns it all...

Some Taken In Hand posters react strongly against the idea of being owned: “He doesn't own me....he is the head of the household,” said Lisa. For me, it has taken some accepting, but Gary does indeed own me. That does not make him a tyrant, but it does mean pleasing him. But bear in mind that my comfort, needs and desires come almost before his demands.

For example, while he may demand a sexy piece of clothing, I can tell him what my needs are and he will relent. But if I am told “no panties,” there is no alternative.

I happen to take comfort in his ownership of me. The care and attention he provides equals only to his affection. I suppose it's partly in your mindset of what ownership means. While Gary could pick all the clothes in the world, if I nix it, it doesn't happen. And if I tried on everything he wanted, but I was excited for one thing entirely different, I'd get it, because he wants me happy and he spoils me. So when he wants a push up bra because it's Wednesday, no problem. Or as he is so fond of saying, “it doesn't belong to you anyway, your breasts belong to me.”

But to please Gary I dress each year on my birthday as a prostitute and we go out on the town. Now I am the slut that he owns. And I can't even begin to explain how I feed off his excitement. It works both ways.

I do just about anything to please him. And it does not interfere with any independence I may have. All dignity is intact, in fact reinforced. If he picked out my clothes would I wear them? Damn straight I would. And quite frankly, there is a hint of pride in being owned and loved so well...


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Being owned

I'm not sure how far I would want to go with this ownership idea, but I must confess that I found this comment by KrosRogue erotic precisely because of the element of posessiveness he describes. The idea of being owned but, like Blush, having my wishes indulged too, is not unappealing! What do others think?

Being owned

No, I don't find the idea of being owned appealing at all. I'm a human being, not a thing.

Re Being Owned

Considering some men treat their cars better than their wives, ownership might not be so bad.


While some may look up the word own in the dictionary, my definition goes beyond that. In fact I would admit that Gary does indeed own my heart, my love and my devotion. And during our exploration with Domination and Submission, he found he can possess my submission and claim ownership to me and what I'm willing/demanded of to give to him, to us.

And while ownership may bring the notion of slavery, that is not what it is, although I may have my fantasies...

Ownership goes beyond monetary value when applied to a relationship. It rises beyond visual bonding and goes to a level of trust that breaks down the superficial notion that ownership has only one meaning. It means I belong to, I am needed and valued and nurtured as one who is claimed as priceless. For I cannot ever put a price on the love I receive nor the submission I give. This type of ownership is based on a masculine pride. She belongs to me....


He owns my heart, my love, and my devotion

Yea Blush. I too feel that it is not a slavery issue and does not take on the same meaning as owning property or anything of monetary value. It is where Race definitely owns my heart, my love, and my devotion. While many who have not experienced this deep connection will not understand this and may have found something else that works for them. I have experienced this and do understand. It works for us. It is absolutly priceless.



Although I am just in the beginning stages of a relationship, my partner has me fully intrigued by his desire to be in a D/s relationship. In the beginning I freaked, but as our relationship is developing I find myself very intrigued.

I found myself reading your comment about ownership not being just monetary, and I have to agree. I have always had to take care of everything in my past relationships, I've always been the responsible one. I have to tell you the thought of someone else wanting to take care of me is exciting, as is the thought that someone wants me to be his, completely.

After reading your post I am even more excited for this relationship to grow, and feel that if it matures into what I hope, a full D/s relationship, I will finally have the happiness and peace I have been searching for all of my life.

Not a thing

Humans are not things...

My wife belongs to me...

Why must this notion of ownership be taken so literally. It was quite common in the 19th century for letters between lovers to use the language of slavery. Lovers would use romantic endearments such as 'I'll be your slave forever' to express their devotion to one another. I don't worry about such pc concerns anymore. I just tell my wife that your mind may be your your own, but your ass is mine. lol

Being owned

I don't see anything wrong with being owned if it makes you happy. It is a simple freedom of choice.

That's what I thought..

When Gary and I were first peeling the layers of what our relationship meant, so many times I simply agreed with what he wanted, demanded or said. And when I told him that I agreed, he always came back with the retort "What makes you think you had a choice"...And I wondered. Privately I did think I had a choice. But he was firm, I did not.
What finally happened was an incident where he refused to give permission that I wanted badly. And he had the discussion with me that he owned me, and while this was a 'hard limit' for me to bear, I had no choice. Well, this was a concept I hadn't counted on. But I gave it deep thought and I realized he's right. I didn't have a choice. So I worked with what I had and spoke to him with respect and let him know this decision was not making me happy.
And because he loves me, and because this was done with consideration to his decision, he did change the outcome and I got what I wanted. And he agreed it was a good choice after all.
But did I have a choice, no, I did not.
And this is also where the realization came that he did indeed own me. While he owns the deepest recess of my heart, he owns my well being and safety as well. As he said, it's easy to 'agree' when the limits are soft and you like it, but when it's difficult, there lies the true test. Not for him, he's comfortable with his ownership, it's I who must accept this gift. And really it is a gift. I used to fret that something big may explode between us and we would have to break our union. It seems ownership supersedes this. Whew, one more thing I don't have to worry about...Blush

That's what I thought

I am owned. I am both a woman AND property. When I married my husband I vowed not only to obey him but in front of all of our friends and family said loud and clear that I belong to him. He vowed to protect me and hear me and take my thoughts and feelings into consideration but also said loud and clear that I belong to him.

I love my life. Occassionally, I need reminding that I am owned and no longer in control of my own life but he reminds me just as frequently that I can feel safe and secure with him in control. That he will always think about what is best for me, and for us.

Before I met him I was involved in many BDSM and D/s relationships seeking that feeling of total release and submission. I never had it. Now there are no whips, no chains, (Okay, maybe sometimes for fun) but his hold on me requires only a look, a touch, and I melt and wish to please him and so I surrender.

How many couples who don't have that dynamic are happy? How many end in divorce for "irreconcilable differences"? I know that will never be our fate. I know I can reconcile anything by letting him lead me, and not judging or ridiculing him when a decision doesn't work out as planned.

I am happy to be owned

Being Owned

I understand Louise C's comment completely, but for me it goes a little further.

I do want to be owned by a man I truly love and trust, but not because I don't have value, just the opposite.

I have a very healthy self esteem, and emotional independence. I feel I'm worth my weight in gold, and a man I choose deserves just such a gift, me, my entire self.

Re: He Owns it All

Now you're speaking about sensual demands that don't interfere in a person's sense of self. What is clothing, anyhow? It can be shed in a moment and something else put on. Or not. This kind of ownership can be very erotic and fulfilling for both. Obviously the dominant person must use common sense and not order you to wear the "whore" costume to work the next day.

But being told, "tomorrow don't wear panties," is a harmless erotic fun thing that everyone can enjoy. I've had similar experiences. What the heck, unless the clothes pinch or something, go on and wear them, and wear your hair the way he likes it too. That's a far cry from remodeling your mind to think as he commands...

It's loving to be owned!

I agree with you, Blush! Being owned by my wonderful, loving husband is such a comforting feeling! He is very good to me, protects me, and always considers my needs and feelings. I want to belong to him, and yes, I am a woman and not an object! But, I am very happy knowing that my heart and body belong to him, and him only.

Maybe some women don't really need to feel like they belong to their men, which is fine. To each her own! All I know is that our passion is so deep and our love is so strong, and part of that comes from the feeling that I belong to him.

Sometime I forget...

Hi Babydoll!
You seem to understand exactly what I am saying and yes, the proof is in the connection and the feelings created for both of us.
For the first time in my life I know that no-one can say or do anything rude or mean to me. I have Gary riding on my shoulder at all times.
I guess the occasional blip in it all is when I forget that I do belong to him. The very occasional time I simply brush him off my shoulder and do the occasional 'me only' thing. Funny part is, I eventually start to look for him and before long, he is right back where he started. With me looking up at him and the lecture begins....lol...But when I keep him close, very close, the ownership of me is just about better than any other kind of security I have ever wanted or looked for. As long as security is something that is 'good' thing. It is for me. Nice to see your opinion.....Blush