Front page articles
About the site owner
What is a Taken In Hand relationship?
Why is the Taken In Hand dynamic so powerful?
Is a Taken In Hand woman a downtrodden doormat yes-woman?
How do I find a take-charge man who will want a Taken In Hand relationship?
How do we get started?
Is Taken In Hand about discipline?
Is Taken In Hand about dominance and submission?
Is Taken In Hand a political matter?
How do I know whether Taken In Hand is right for me?
Why are Taken In Hand relationships so intimate and connected?
Is a Taken In Hand relationship for everyone?
What you need to know about Taken In Hand
Laying the groundwork for other possibilities
What if she is not interested in being taken in hand?
Where are all the strong men?
To let go
Tradition, feminism, Victoria and Albert
Don't go into your cave, get out your preferred implement!
White hot intensity and boundless joy
Quiet authority
Finding a good man
The night that changed our marriage for ever
Total obedience?
Dominant to the last
A need for control
The sweetest “Benevolent Dictatorship” ever
Ms. Damen [should be] taken in hand (I jest!)
Creating an unbreakable bond of love takes time
Taken In Hand in a nutshell
Reaching out by offering yourself
Is this a victory?
When I'm in overdrive...
The Taming of the Shrew
The dual failures of men
American Beauty meets The Surrendered Wife
The path
Cherishing the family: little things have big effects
My fascinating journey
I'm so lucky to have found the right man
Is he who (or where) he says he is?
Why men start and why they stop
Letter to a potential partner
In praise of Fascinating Womanhood
How to break it to a new man
Obedience and autonomy
What happens when he makes a mistake?
My perfect guy, and the marriage he has given me
The impossibility of installing a spine in a pansy
How Sleeping Beauty found her prince
Blanket consent
Throw out the rules!
Safewords
Obedience
Whose job is it?
First year trials
Blush and Gary, by Gary
How we got past the year from hell
Romantic rituals for the taken in hand
It's like this, beloved: I need to be spanked
The changes show! What should I tell people?!
Surrendered in love
Liberated through submission
Why a man might be reluctant and what to do about it
Hands-on approach
No more waiting!
Why you shouldn't mention the 'M' word
Being taken in hand is hot!
I fear I have awoken a sleeping dragon
Each to his own
Who needs forbidden fruit when you have this?!
Why you should not withhold spanking!
How I feel before, during and after being spanked
I want it all, and I want it now!
Feeling the dragon's fire
What do you mean, you want to be taken in hand?!
How it felt to be taken in hand for the very first time
Is your new man dominant, domineering, or a dithering wimp?
Why does being taken in hand work?
How can you submit when you feel <i>frustrated</i>?
No helpless hysterical heroines here!
The difference between dominant and controlling
I want... to be possessed
Dealing with a man who doesn't do as he's told
What easy-to-say word gives every lover pleasure?
Spanking is the last resort
How I met my husband, and how that impacted my life
Why being taken in hand helps
Do you have a commanding presence?
Making it explicit versus keeping it implicit
I want...
Safe
A love letter
Give new love a chance
How I turned the fantasy into reality
The healing power of taking her in hand
Is there consent?
She wants to be taken in hand against her will?!
I don't want to be a servant or slave
The appeal of a very feminine woman
The paradox of the strong and submissive woman
What's in it for the man? Freedom!
Journey into true submission
Out of control, insane, driven by our emotions? No way!
A new journey
Happily married to a dominant man
Resolving an internal conflict
Help! The one I love nowadays rarely wants sex!
The exquisite pleasure of childlikeness in a woman
What the woman gets out of it
Spanking as connection
The Eskimo analogy
Secretary: the film
What kind of site is this? D/s? TPE? CP? DD? ABCD?
What does the man get out of it? Many things!
Do you think he doesn't have it in him?
Ever-deepening total love
About Schmidt: choose engagement, not withdrawal
Leadership, strength, emotional intimacy
The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle: a critique
The coming battle
Does it have to hurt to be Taken In Hand?
Each relationship is a unique work in progress
What I get out of it
Change of heart
It's not about blame, so forget ‘fairness’!
Offering an olive branch
Is he one of the good guys... or not?
Don't tell me to leave my baggage at the door
Why is real punishment spanking erotic?
A breakdown on the road to intimacy
My deep dark secret
The paradox of the master and the queen
Never do without sex again
Looking into the mirror of life
Sharing the secret of our success
The anchor of love
The difference between dominant and domineering
Don't tell anyone I'm here!
Subjugation or submission?
The joy of the master-queen dynamic
The face, the mask, and the dream
When rape is a gift
From vague awareness to a beautiful relationship
Does being taken in hand mean not saying what you think?
Taken In Hand relationships are hot and close
The dynamics of our Taken In Hand relationship
Moving into a Taken In Hand relationship
Equality isn't all it's cracked up to be
What Taken In Hand has done for our marriage
The F-word
He who dares, wins
The nature and effects of consensual non-consent
An 1897 woman's “ideal of manhood”
How I became submissive
Surrendering to the man I nearly destroyed
Why Taken In Hand isn't actually unfair
How can I be sure that she wants to be taken in hand?
Taking her in hand when she won't ask for it
Taken In Hand saved our marriage from doom
To be taken
Are you under misapprehensions about Taken In Hand?
The hazards of self-sacrifice and impossible standards
Actions speak louder than words
Chemistry is indispensable
The alpha male and masculine power
Consensual rape as a gift of control
Submission and security
Authority in a Taken In Hand relationship
The sexuality of ‘non-sexual’ dominance
Taken In Hand by an ardent feminist
The worm turns (a little late, but better late than never!)
Timeshare taming
Who says you have to be submissive?
There is no knight in shining armour
How Taken In Hand exorcised my inner demon
Three different experiences of rape
The freedom to be an alpha male: the joy!
Knights earn the name
Learning the ropes
Decades of discipline, decades of happy marriage
Don't forget your whip
Wanting a masterful man
Empowering dominance
Why would a women want to be spanked?
Craving protection, learning to trust
Understanding
Women want men who are more dominant
Accommodating needs can't be done by the book
Communication
A relationship of equals
The resistant woman
Human alpha, beta, and omega males: the reality
Changing for myself
What women don't want
Brought to submission
Strength and ceding control
In defence of brats everywhere!
Taking her in hand is not a contact sport
Alpha male dominance
What Taken In Hand is, and what it is not
Seduction of the independent female
How my husband took my clothing choices in hand
Dominance, integrity and needing to feel superior
Our new beginning
Dominance and forcefulness, and violence
Asserting dominance physically forcefully
Force of will
Can two dominant individuals have a good relationship?
Which comes first? Dominance or submission?
Happy living in fear of a man?!
The erotic power of the unshackled man
Embracing my inner adult
Taken In Hand is not a lifestyle
He owns it all...
Ownership as bonding
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
What works for us
Why would anyone want to be controlled by a man?
Monogamy
Beauty is skin deep; sexy is forever
Have you captured her mind?
How can a strong woman signal her submissiveness?
Mistakes made in forming relationships
Look for love
Quietly taken in hand
Using the word “love” in writing about relationships
Love and fear
My marriage is a safe haven
A reality check for critics
Has feminism gone too far?
The Total Woman, by Marabel Morgan: a book review
Wedding vows – I promised to “obey”
Relationship and health versus productivity
The soothing effect of vowing to obey
My wife cherishes me
Some possible benefits of taking your wife in hand
Now I want my husband all the time
Self-realization – the catapult
BDSM rituals and rule-bound relationships
And Adam knew his wife
Trials and errors – appeasement for anger
PUT women in their place
Is it a mistake to spank when angry?
Can physical chastisement cure bad habits?
Don't wait too long to tell her
Why is BDSM so popular?
What women need to know about men
Trust is what makes my relationship so special
Domestic discipline (DD)
An etiquette in the relationship
What being taken in hand means to me
The submissive alpha female
The importance of conquest
Is chastity overrated?
The dance of consent
Women need to know when NOT to do as they're told!
Communication, consent and connection
An iron hand in a velvet glove
Give the right impression?
Fear
Virtues of the lowly switch
I was drawn to his old-fashioned ways
Why did it take us 20 years?
My husband's calm control makes me feel submissive
Linguistically submissive
A consensual, non-controlling journey
Being able to be open and honest about my feelings
Do you need more attention in your relationship?
Keeping the lines of communication open
Is your relationship abusive?
What if it doesn't come naturally?
Practical hints for men - times of stress
Practical hints for men - you are allowed to enjoy it!
Switches do grow on trees
How badly I want this; how difficult it is to ask for it
Could micromanagement work for you, too?
Why is this desire so powerful?
Working wives
Enjoying our relationship
Men taking responsibility
In my room
Practical hints for men - handling a strong woman
Attention to detail
Giving my best to my man who put his foot down
What it is that we do
What would you do if your wife damaged the car?
How often do you have sex?
If I asked for the moon...
Is this really consensual?
What is the secret recipe?
Could this kind of relationship be for you?
The butterfly effect
Are you submissive to all men or to only one man?
Do you have these vital qualities women want in a man?
How my husband makes me melt
Can you be Taken In Hand if you're not submissive?
Too much of a good thing?
Have you found a proper balance?
It is working as advertised!
A strong willed woman wanting a man to lose against
We're not all submissive!
Is the man's authority real if consent can be revoked?
A sword-wielding female warrior taken in hand!
In defence of books like Fascinating Womanhood
Shall we dance?
Consent, control, connection
Is Taken In Hand a form of BDSM?
A small but touching act of kindness
Taken In Hand - intimacy and romance
Violence in the garden
Greater humility, less defensiveness
Giving up control is not easy
Being Taken In Hand doesn't mean being silent
My husband and I face the world as a team
Taken In Hand means different things to different people
Greetings from a Spanish Taken In Hand couple
Lessons from a Taken In Hand girl
Full circle
My intellectual equal wanted me to take control
An alpha female bares her throat only to her mate
Finding my way home
Acts of love
The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman: book review
Different strokes for different folks
Are you paying attention? Are you really connecting?
Taking it step-by-step making piecemeal changes
How we stopped fighting and became happier together
Is he head of the household?
On being a man
Is it true that a man shouldn't need to get physical?
Abusive men: Hedda Nussbaum's list of red flags
Learning to be more assertive can take time
Given a choice between two men ...
Real life leadership or rules and rigidity?
Do the right thing - be the captain of your ship
Wanting the impossible dream - a man in charge
He's in charge. . . but I do it my way
A woman must know that her man cares
A gentle giant who loves and serves the woman he leads
Is the discipline focus limiting your relationship?
Familiarity breeds contempt
From BDSM to Taken In Hand
BDSM . . . kink with some psychological payoff
The Virgin and the Gipsy, by D. H. Lawrence
How do you relate to one another publicly?
Taken in hand by tenderness
Find your voice and speak
Wedded bliss
Being taken in hand was really rather super
Could you be a slave, owned, property?
Consent makes all the difference in the world
When is implicit consent enough?
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: a book review
What women want
Respect and responsibility
Are you the Conan the Barbarian type?
FAQ (answers to frequently-asked questions)
Taken In Hand has changed our marriage
Are you worth your weight in gold?
Taken In Hand is about male leadership not spanking
Can you be in charge without turning into her mother?
Getting To "I Do", by Patricia Allen: a book review
Natural flow
Force majeure
Should the woman take the man's name on marriage?
First there were the boys... then there was Bobby
When your love doesn't want to get married
How should a woman dress?
What qualities does a man need to be a good leader?
Power connectivity
How is this different from other male-led relationships?
Barbie is the doll, Ken is just an accessory.
Why do some prefer a Taken In Hand relationship to a conventional relationship?
Is Taken In Hand a moral matter?
Closing the gap
A good leader accepts that he is only human
My life, my choice
Is she afraid of losing control? Topping from the bottom?
Stereotypes
Too feminine?
The carrot or the stick?
Girl alpha seeks all man alpha
Do you keep a journal?
Patience, integrity…and being a little sweet always helps
What would you do if your spouse said he or she no longer wants this kind of relationship?
Do with me what you will
How to tell him you want a Taken In Hand relationship
Not all men will get it unless you explain
Alpha males and the women who love them
A brief introduction to Taken In Hand - from a Biblical perspective
The unexpected benefits of surrendering control
On being the servant-leader in my relationship
Getting it right takes time
My experience of taking my wife in hand
I love obeying my husband
Listening isn't weak
The subjection of women
Alternative therapy
A lifetime of denial ends
Films with Taken In Hand overtones or references
The crooked path to where we are
Sublimated desires
Keep your sense of humour!
The missionary position
Foreplay
Equality through Taken in Hand?
Feeling thrilled by the prospect of being taken in hand
Who's afraid of the big, growly lion?
The word “anah” in brief
Love Is A Decision, by Gary Smalley: a book review
Dominant men: D/s vs. Taken In Hand
Tom Jones, by Henry Fielding: an excerpt
Taking Sex Differences Seriously, by Steven E. Rhoads
I am a strong woman but I want to be taken in hand. Is this normal?
Narcissistic dominance vs Taken In Hand dominance
He: An Irreverent Look at the American Male, by Florence King: an excerpt
Do you tell your beloved that he or she is exceptional?
Do you have unrealistic expectations?
A risky strategy but it worked for us
Shades of grey
Magnificent man or merely male?
Exit To Eden: the movie
Is he driving you mad?
Impregnation
Holding coats and opening doors
Women who take responsibility for their own actions
Feminine submission and traditional language
How do you make housework more fun?
Giving each other what we need
Give me intensity or give me death!
Being open to possibilities
Make each other feel the luckiest person alive!
Our journey through BDSM to Taken in Hand
Submission must be earned
The Night Porter: movie review
The man ordering for the woman in restaurants
How to not to please a Taken In Hand customer!
Coming unravelled (or not)
Is spanking always sexual?
My Review of Laura Doyle's "The Surrendered Wife"
Is spanking necessary in a taken in hand relationship?
We should consider ourselves so lucky
An overview of Taken In Hand
What causes contrition and crying?
A Taken In Hand relationship reaches beyond the couple
How can I be sure he's monogamous?
Take her in hand without lifting a finger
If you want to use an article from this site...
Who wants a slave?
Believe it or not, she really wants you to assert yourself!
How we have stayed happily married for over 30 years
A deep and satisfying marriage
Do you 'meet as equals' or 'establish roles from the outset'?
The power of a woman who submits to her man
How do you maintain control in little ways?
Saying things for effect
Do you have the patience to make your marriage work?
Si vis pacem, para bellum
My full and complete surrender
Flying by the seat of your pants
What is the alpha male's secret?
The NOW Habit
When love transcends a weight issue
A beginners' guide to spanking
Fear of domination
A difficult wife
Who is the sexiest woman in the world?
How our relationship has changed
Not a lower-case girl
Resistance is futile
It's all my parents' fault!
Pornography prevents and corrodes relationships
He isn't interested in or capable of taking you in hand?
Effect positive change by acting as if...
The making of a dominant man
Mr Darcy, Mr Knightley and the Taken In Hand ideal
Protective men
Missing my husband’s control
Thy Rod and Staff, by Edward Anthony: a book review
A man released from his pseudo-beta torment
Who cares what others think?
Growing up
My first Taken in Hand experience
Reassurance for those new to all this
A man leads with love and kindness
Our type of Taken In Hand marriage
My friend, my lover, my rock
Three female film characters I admire
Enjoying consensual sexual aggression
How are things different from before Taken In Hand?
Letting myself go
What if your wife feels scared and vulnerable?
The Future of Men, by Marian Salzman, Ira Matathia and Ann O'Reilly: a book review
Men serve and lead, women receive and obey
When you've seen a happy marriage with your own eyes...
Bonded by rape
From clues to a wonderful reality
This man
Handle with care... and honor and fidelity
Passing it on
I blame the knee-jerkers
Blossoming in his arms
Who Stole Feminism? by Christina Hoff Sommers: a book review
Attracting girls as a nice guy with a capacity for violence
Being with a stronger man allows a strong woman to relax
Is it real?
SM / D/s / BDSM in a Taken In Hand relationship?
How we stopped the escalation of verbal hostilities
Men demanding sex
A man with a backbone can be very soothing
A man in charge needs to be firm and steady
Taking her
Loving, supportive and kind control
Needing my wife
To promise or not to promise?
BDSM practices in our Taken In Hand relationship
Good communication
I never learn
Life with Woman and How to Survive it, by Joseph H. Peck: a review
Saved by the spank
Spanking in anger
So grateful - Taken In Hand has set us free
How Taken in Hand has transformed my wife
Things can change
How to read this site
Is Taken In Hand control real?
Under new management
A few thoughts on crying
Does she want a Taken in Hand relationship?
Superficially non-consensual but deeply consensual
Back in the swing of things
Erotic pregnancy and afterwards...
A smile man
Nostalgic? Not a bit!
She wants him to prevail
Two different women...
Are Men Necessary?, by Maureen Dowd: a book review
How I discovered what I need
We were virgins when we married
Pleasing your man makes you feel more lovey and lusty
Where these men come from...
A marriage of understanding, passion and pregnancy
Don't frighten the horses
It's not really natural for either of us
Getting your rocks off
How does she respond to sustained eye contact?
This place in my life feels right
Strap-on Epiphany, by Virginia Vitzthum: a comment
How my dress has changed
Taken In Hand - the view of a psychiatrist
Is Taken In Hand bad for women who were abused in childhood?
The man who doesn't give a stuff about labels
How my husband set me free
Egalitarian dating vs accepting gifts graciously
Being yourself
What control means to me
It takes two to tango
Taken In Hand - the bare essence
Truth and life
Changing for him - pleasing for me
How can I persuade him to take control in our relationship?
A happy end to marital deadlock
Crossing a hurdle
Is taking his wife in hand self-sacrificing for the man?
Imagining my marriage as one long road-trip
The passion of the tango
It's not because he's infallible
His word is final
The King of the Dark Chamber, by Rabindranath Tagore: a book review
Living the fantasy 24/7
How Taken In Hand makes the mundane erotic
This man's authority just IS
An expression of his authority
ReMorseful
Lessons from my marriage for wives wanting their husband to take them in hand
Why we rejected rules and punishment in our Taken In Hand relationship
She may not know it yet, but I'm taking her in hand
Taken In Hand through chronic illness
Fascinating Womanhood and me
Laura Schlessinger vs Helen Andelin on how to treat your husband
Fascinating Womanhood and the ideal woman
Is the idea of fairness causing trouble in your relationship?
Agreements are a two-way street
A dominant man brainwashed into submission
The ways we do things
Why does physically taking your wife in hand work?
Are your labels preventing you from seeing what you have?
Setting the record straight about punishment spanking
Man of Steel and Velvet by Aubrey Andelin: a book review
Responding to his loving control
I don't want to be submissive!
Work - don't be afraid of that four letter word!
Forget femininity!
Taken out of my anguish
Exercise authority
The power of the feminine "please"
A high-dominance woman taken in hand
Saying "no", leadership and chocolate
Why the "Wow!"?
Why is commitment important?
Sleeping positions, rituals and control
Don't be an "if only" person
How to find out if a man wants a Taken in Hand relationship
A childhood memory
"No" means "take me"
What a man gets from Taken in Hand
What's in a name?
Saying "no" as code for "I care"
Journaling: another way to talk
As the head of our household I put my wife first
Correcting possible misconceptions about Taken In Hand
Saying so
Having consent to take her whenever you want assumes that you will act wisely
When the heart finally comes home
Obedience - a curious and perverse pleasure
A year of new management
Softly taken in hand
A mysterious compulsion to obey
DD relationships - the view of a mental health professional
Noticing and noting the positive
The committed marriage
How do I broach the subject of Taken In Hand?
Are you getting through to her?
Are there hidden power dynamics in your relationship?
Communication doesn't have to be explicit, direct or verbal
Taken In Hand is low-key and private, not a 'lifestyle'
Be careful when she relaxes her defenses
Stop living in denial and start becoming healthy
The few times she has actually talked about it
When visual pornography makes a wife feel devalued
Availability and rape
Should love be willing to share?
Why do Taken In Hand folk reject the D/s label?
Growing old colourfully
How to make your marriage good when life is bad
A good marriage is a threesome
When a man takes charge, his wife no longer rejects him sexually
This site no more? New host
Call for posts
My husband is my master but I am no slave
Why won't he spank me when he's angry?
White-hot absolution
Ready and willing
The final step
Circumventing consent in a Taken In Hand relationship
Reality is in the eye of the beholder
Explicit consent - finally!
Can a taken in hand woman be sexually subordinate and sexually aggressive?
How to get stuff done around the house without nagging
How my mousy man became a lion
Do you show your appreciation when she obeys?
Holding the hand that spanks me
Why she wouldn't talk about it - and why she is talking about it now
Seeking a Taken In Hand relationship?
Why being married beats playing the pickup game
A kiss on the hand
A question of commitment - will he be there when she needs him?
Woman whisperer
Taken In Hand is nothing to do with patriarchy
Amid chaos, a quiet dignity
A deeper connection
Romance novels, good girls and mothers
Telling him things that you can't tell him
Cat whisperer
Bewitching Samantha
Jeopardized daily
Entitled to all of her husband
The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Friedan: a book review
The long journey to Taken in Hand
What a man!
Watch what she does, not what she says
Taken In Hand is not fair but it is fun - and just
How to understand and appreciate a woman
My treasure
Freedom in letting go
An unexpected benefit of our Taken In Hand relationship
Is it ever OK to FORCE your wife to do something?
Forget 'ideal' - look for the real
Some advice for men seeking a woman
Is discipline a necessary component of a Taken In Hand relationship?
Fierce women
From exhausted single mother to happy Taken In Hand wife
Control yourself and keep your legs closed!
If you want your wife to give you respect, give her love
Choice Theory saved my marriage
Can you protect her, cherish her and handle her?
What if he is horrified by the idea?
How to avoid making your life with your wife a living hell
Taken In Hand as opposed to completely docile
Advice for husbands beginning to take charge in their marriage
What Taken In Hand requires of you as a husband
Taken In Hand for the fatally flawed
A man who is in control - of himself
Learning from the British army ethos
A good use of force
How long does it take to adjust to Taken In Hand?
Why do some rules work but not others?
Taken In Hand works best when it is organic
Two years and counting
Loving the missionary position may be your first clue
The man needs to be the pursuer
Embracing each other's darkest secrets
Be patient!
Recognition
Hoping for a happy marriage?
Passionate conquest
He was horrified but now he is very happy
The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman: a review
How I overcame my obsessive-compulsive disorder
Alpha male in life clueless in love
Taken In Hand relieves tension and increases goodwill
Checking his suitability
Husbands getting started at taking charge
Discovering who we are
I'm not supposed to tell you this...
Movie review: Stardust
I won't settle for anything less
My husband being in charge helps in stressful times
How cool is that?
Taking myself in hand: a personal journey with shared results
From abject loser to young man
I am an animal!
How my husband took me (in hand)
Why does it work?
The heart of an alpha wolf
To be a man in a Taken In Hand relationship is to be the engine in a ship - if you’re not running then the boat isn’t going anywhere
It's NOT too late to stop living in conflict with who you are
My testing is of myself not his control of me
Advice for women: how to find and marry Mr Right - step 1
Do women really want to defeat men?
Can I still take charge if I'm not a superhero?
Do I have to be a control freak to take my wife in hand?
Military discipline or the softer approach of a southern gentleman?
My wife wants me to take charge but how?
Fifty Shades of Grey, by E L James: a book review
Hugs that bug