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Really?

Two weeks ago, I stumbled on to this website and like many of you it has changed my perspective on life. Although I have spent years fantasizing about having a relationship like this it honestly NEVER, EVER occurred to me that these types of relationship actually exist. I have spent the last two weeks visiting this site, reading postings and trying to absorb all of the information here. I am an intelligent woman, a mother, and well-educated. Still, I find myself asking, Really? Can there really be men who take charge in their marriage without being abusive in some way? Strong, successful, loving, caring men who protect and take care of their wife? Men who consider their wife's needs when making a decision that affects both of them? Are there really such men? Do Taken In Hand relationships really exist? Two weeks ago I would have said no, these relationships only exist in romance novels. But that has changed, now that I have found this site.

The reason I am writing this is that I have the need to get these thoughts and feelings out of my head and there really is no one in my life who would take me seriously if I told them of my interest in this kind of relationship. So, I am hoping that by posting this here someone will verify my feelings and reassure me that hoping for this is a healthy, normal thing to do. Today, if someone were to ask me if this type of relationship really exists, I would send them to this website and let them experience what I have been experiencing, a newfound hope.

‹ Fearing your own fantasies Songs of relevance? ›
A readers' forum post by Stacy A on Tue, 12/04/2011 - 20:03

#1 Funny

It's funny but I also found this website about 2 weeks ago and it has opened my eyes and changed my life. I know this is meant for married couples but my boyfriend has been trying to move into this type of relationship but I have been "reacting" rather than responding and he has kept trying to explain it. He kept telling me I needed "charm school". I was seriously struggling with it, only understanding bits and pieces and not being able to see the "whole". A friend of mine turned me onto this website and I showed him and asked.. "You mean like this???" Holy cow, it was like reading my biography and I have read closely the articles. I am SO grateful for this site and the people who open up and share their stories. I simply made the decision and let me tell you my bf is THRILLED and I am so so grateful.

Thank you!!!

Submitted by mpr1965 on Wed, 13/04/2011 - 21:32.

#2 thank you

I always felt I was different or troublesome in relationships as i never felt "satisfied" with the relationship or "connected" to my partner. After so many years I figured it was just me and I had some deep issues with men. Then I met my current soon-to-be husband and he started injecting some of this type of relationship. As is common with Taken In Hand inclined women, I fought it and was headstrong and reactive. I was struggling to understand it though as I was SO COMPLETELY drawn to this man and I simply could not put my finger on it. My girlfriend suggested this website and I spent the first day reading the articles and actually cried in relief that I wasn't some sort of freak or oddball.

I have been told by men that I am not worth the trouble, controlling, high maintenance, passive aggressive and reactive. In addition to that, objective, cold and unfeeling. All in all I think I just constantly challenged men hoping they would man up and deal with me. I am physically very fit and at 6 feet tall and 195 of muscle, well, it added to my problem.

Well thanks to Taken in Hand and the wonderful insightful pieces that people write I now understand me for ME and see this as a whole, rather than bits and pieces of what my future husband was trying to explain. I showed him the site and asked him if this was what he was trying to tell me and he said. "That is what I have been telling you." LOL! Well I certainly wasn't catching on.

Anyway, now I am in the most fulfilling relationship of my life. I feel content in the love I receive from him and do not ever have to guess what he's thinking or feeling or what he needs. I am told very clearly and there is no guesswork. In return he treats me like a queen and is loyal and loving in every way possible.

Thank you to all of you and I REALLY cannot believe that I just came upon this website a few weeks ago myself..

Submitted by mpr1965 on Thu, 14/04/2011 - 18:56.

#3 Yes, there are men out there

Yes, there are men out there who can participate and want to participate in a tin relationship. But, they can be hard to find for the simple reason that they can be as clueless as women can be about tin.

I knew my husband wanted this long before he did. It took a lot of reasearch on his part, but now he would not want it any other way.
If you find a man who already knows abot tin, you will be lucky. But, most likely you will have to train one LOL.

What I did was gather articles that focused on male thinking and the male role and showed them to my hubby. Then once he understood from that perspective, I showed him articles about how women felt about tin.

But, the most important thing I did was to let him take control. Even in a situation where he wanted me to make the decision, I still found a way for him to control the outcome.

Example
Him...Where should we go eat?
Me...Hardees, Outback, or Taco Bell. You pick honey.

After a while taking control became second nature to him. Remember it is about baby steps and changing habbits. Do not expect to find a ready made tin man...those are rarer than Tanzanite.

But, please when trying to find a man for tin, find a man worthy of taking control. If his control seems to only suit his needs..run. but, if he controls in way that is for your bennifit, he is a keeper.

Good luck, I hope you find the man that will take you through this journey.

Submitted by PurpleCandle on Sat, 16/04/2011 - 19:18.

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