I was married to what I thought was an “ideal” man. He was married to what he thought was an “ideal” woman. While dating we both spent a lot of time being someone other than ourselves, and once we were married a few years and had a few kids, the “ideals” we were slowly gave way to who we were and surprise, we weren't wild about one another!
The person I am with now is not someone whom I originally saw as ideal in the beginning... and given the circumstances under which we met—he helped me change my flat tire in the rain, so I hardly looked or was acting my best LOL—I doubt he thought I was his ideal.
But today, I think when we wake up each morning, we know that we are ideal for each other. I am no longer the svelte woman he met—but he revels in what he calls my “curvy” figure, and I get to cook and eat the things I—and he—loves! He tends to get testy when I don't do as he asks, but I revel in knowing that I am with an intelligent man who only asks me to do what is best for our family.
I love the possessive nature of my husband. I love the freedoms I have with him, knowing that although I am the boss and totally responsible at work, that I don't have to be the boss at home.
We have enough trust in each other to share our desires and dreams. I was comfortable enough with him to tell him I didn't want to be in charge at home (been there, done that with the ex and it was exhausting!). He was comfortable enough to tell me that he really wanted an old-fashioned woman who was strong and intelligent, but not always trying to be in charge. So we got what we wanted by looking past the “ideal” and into the “real”.
We are not perfect. We have our moments. But all in all, I am glad that I stopped looking for the “ideal” man and I am really glad that my husband stopped looking for the “ideal” woman. If we had kept looking for the “ideal”, we would have never found one another. Sometimes the “ideal” is not what is ideal for you.