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Feeling the dragon's fire

I've been asked to tell you what happened on the night I was anticipating when I wrote this article: I fear I have awoken a sleeping dragon.

After writing that article, I found that I was more elated than afraid. There was fear, but I did not want to try to persuade him to take a different course from the one he had planned. When I knocked on my husband's study door that night, I was so nervous that my knees were shaking and small muscles in my legs were jumping. My husband said I looked pale, and asked if I wanted to postpone our appointment.

Seeing the love and concern in his face, and hearing him seek consent for what he was going to do, I felt almost overcome. Then I noticed he had said “postpone”, not “cancel”, and I felt like kissing him passionately in gratitude and love, but the mood was too grave for that to be appropriate. Nevertheless, at that moment, I felt like the luckiest woman alive. My husband was being both sensitive to my wishes, and strong at the same time. In answer to his question, I shook my head, and he stepped aside to allow me to enter.

The next thing that happened surprised me and, again, threw me into turmoil. My husband picked up the old school cane that had belonged to his father, and sat down in his armchair.

“Strip,” he said, softly. “Take your clothes off.”

If you have read my previous article, you will understand why this is not what I was expecting. I had let my husband down badly, and he was very cross with me. He had told me he was going to cane me, and from the way he had talked, I had been expecting it to be one hundred percent discipline, zero per cent sex. And now here I was, being told to take my clothes off while my husband watched, cane in hand. I did not know whether to be aroused or panicked. It felt very strange. For some reason, it reminded me of the film True Lies! I felt a jumble of confused emotions. I can't find the words to describe it adequately. I felt excited, and I felt embarrassed about feeling aroused, and ashamed and guilty about what I'd done, and I felt vulnerable, trusting, and afraid. Even though my husband has seen me naked countless times, I felt embarrassed when I was standing naked in front of him. He did not smile. He did not seem to look at me with desire in his eyes. He just looked.

The next thing that happened was that I started shivering, because my husband's study is cold!

So my husband jumped up, and said matter-of-factly, “All right, let's get this over with. Bend over the desk.”

I bent over it, was initially startled by the coldness of it, and probably tensed up as a result. So when the first blow came, it was extraordinarily painful and I screamed.

My husband told me to relax, and put his hand on my bottom, stroking me, soothing me. But he had told me he would give me six of the best, and that is what he did. Had I not known that it would be six blows, I doubt I would have been able to submit. But because I knew, I was able to count them down, knowing that it would end soon. The pain was terrible… and yet, not terrible. It is difficult to describe it. It was extremely painful, but it was not an unbearable type of pain. There are other types of pain that are far less intense but far less bearable. I cried out in pain with every blow, and by the penultimate one, I was crying freely. But he still gave me the sixth blow.

Then he threw the cane on the chair and pulled me up and held me in his arms, stroking my hair, kissing my head, whispering that he loves me. I felt so peaceful, so loved, so safe, somehow. I felt a deep sense that I belong to this man, that I am his, that I will never stop wanting him and loving him, and that he is my lord and master. Feeling me shivering, he took me to bed. At least, that's why he said he was taking me to bed…

We have now talked about everything, and we are both very happy about our new life together. We do view this as a new life – “a life of caning and kissing, discipline and bliss,” as my husband put it.

Caroline A

Taken In Hand Tour start | next

Have you seen the following articles?
Why you should not withhold spanking!
Being taken in hand is hot!
Introducing the intimate control dynamic
The night that changed our marriage for ever
Out of control, insane, driven by our emotions? No way!
Leadership, strength, emotional intimacy
About Schmidt: choose engagement, not withdrawal
Maybe these surrendered women are on to something
A love letter
Secretary: what did you think of this film?
Thu, 04/12/2003 - 19:29

Comments

#1 Lovely!

Hi there - I was wondering what had happened - wonderful to hear it went well (if a little painfully!).

Beautiful reading, and wonderful to know that you now have a happy, disciplined relationship.

I hope all goes well - best wishes for the future!

(Oh, and be sure to let us know what else develops as you and your husband move along ;-))

Random

Submitted by Random on Thu, 04/12/2003 - 20:56.

#2 The Beauty of Love

What stands out for me in Caroline's article is the love between her and her husband. When I met my fiance, I had never been in love even once in my 41 years, I had just dreamed of it. Meeting my fiance changed my life. I thank God every day for my good fortune.

Submitted by janey93 on Tue, 09/12/2003 - 18:40.

#3 Fear and excitement

I really like the honesty which your story shows. You were fearful of what was to come almost to the point of questioning perhaps - I am really bad about begging him not to punish me, knowing I need it, deserve it and have asked for and consented to this years ago. But also your anticipation is so evident here. You really demonstrated the emotional turmoil that is included in this type of a relationship. Thank you for the post.

Submitted by a Taken In Hand reader on Tue, 06/01/2004 - 00:01.

#4 Caroline....

what you experienced, in minute detail, is a major fantasy of mine (BLUSH!) I WISH my husband would do it like that, I want more than anything a strong man who does not lose his temper or his control....who shows his upset or anger in a low, controlled, masculine voice.

OOH, you're so lucky! Although I realize at first you didn't think you would be. :)

I get the feeling you are English, from how you spell words. Can anyone explain to me WHY I find men with English accents the most sexy when it comes to being dominant? Not Cockney accents or anything, but more like Ralph Fiennes type accents. I guess I should have married a Brit. :)

Submitted by BlueRose on Wed, 06/07/2005 - 00:28.

#5 Accents

I am massively turned on by American men's accents. My husband does a lot of work in America, and American men with sexy voices are always ringing up here to talk to him. He's got one friend in Florida who sounds partiuclarly seductive, whenever he croons down the phone at me I have to hold onto the wall for support. It makes no difference that I have met this man and that, although quite pleasant, he is nothing special in the flesh, his voice on the phone still affects me the same way.

Submitted by Louise C on Wed, 06/07/2005 - 05:37.

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