Well, the truth of your own sexuality is only yours to know. If to submit within romantic sex is your erotic zone then that's simply the way it is. It's as common as its extreme opposite.

For my own part, I have yet to meet a woman, who when introduced via escalation to ravishment, isn't erotically stimulated to high heaven.

And, incidentally, ravishment involves force but not violence, restraint without pain, aggressiveness with lack of harm, dominance without degredation, freedom within limits, rebellion subjugated to a superior force and in part on the female side, a desire to test and fight in spite of the certain knowledge that victory is not really possible except through surrender.

Paradoxical as the last item seems, it's the truth. Part of the satisfaction of the act is bringing the male to loss of control and knowing you brought him to that.

One reader asked why some enjoy ravishment. I'm not completely sure, however here are a few of my thoughts from a female perspective anyway.

Consensual ravishment (play or real) makes a woman feel desirable. The man's desire for his lady is demonstrated to her by his loss of control, a product of the pure passion she has aroused in him. It is the feeling of being highly desirable that is an aphrodisiac for the woman, and please correct me if I'm wrong, it's the 'loss of control' that is an aphrodisiac for the man.

Consensual ravishment also emphasizes the polarity between masculinity and femininity, another powerful aphrodisiac. "He is powerful and strong—and as hard as she may try she cannot resist his strength". In this way she becomes very aware of his masculinity and also of her own femininity.

There is of course an irony to all this, that is the 'powerful male' in fact becomes powerless! He looses control of himself due to 'her charms'. Both have to loose before they can win.

Notes:

1. All the above comments relate to consensual ravishment in a monogamous relationship. If ravishment is not consensual the dynamic changes to something very ugly and destructive for both parties.

2. Ravishment isn't the only way women experience feelings of being desirable and men can certainly enjoy the pure abandon of loss of control without ravishment. It's comes down to personal preference.

3. The polarity of masculineness and feminineness can of course be effectively contrasted in ways other than ravishment.

Ok. Maybe not self-evident. Not a single event described in the post occurred without her total and full consent. Just because it isn’t notarized in triplicate didn’t mean it wasn't given. This is the deep side of male/female psychology and relationships.

In regards to “run the show” I am an old-style, transcendent, high-status, alpha male. I never, ever, surrender power and control (of me). Men, even dominant alphas, tend to make a fatal mistake by routinely surrendering their power when entering relationships and then wonder why things don’t go anywhere like they planned.

And it’s very much a right-brain “does he get it” emotional context thing rather than a left-brain logical event. Early in courtship, when she is there arguing and talking about the limits and expectations of relationship behavior, the deep psychology is that she is issuing a challenge: “Are you man enough to stand upto me?” By kissing her on my terms I answered her in no uncertain terms. She knew what she had in that exact moment.

To underscore, 3 weeks later, I deliberately took her to a great dinner party at a large function. At some point she realized that we were drawing quite a lot of attention and that it was focused more on me than her—a shock to any beautiful woman who is used to being at the center of attention. Driving her home I explained that she was broadcasting in body language how into me she was, and people picked up on it. The second shock for her came the next day when she realized that I knew all along what would happen and that I had set her up for the experience. The effect on her psyche and the relationship is left to the reader.

As the dominant man, I lead and she follows—by choice not force. She could leave anytime but psychological chains of gold chain her. I get my way because in submitting and following she gets exactly what she really wants—me. The rest is rationalization.

Which leads us to mild physical domination within sex. By the time we get to this point, any resistance is mostly play. If she ever violently resisted me without betraying any of the tell-tale signs of pleasure I would back off instantly.

In part we lack a word to describe the physical taking of a woman seemingly against her will but in agreement with her desire and her consent. It's an act of love that is intense, and brings into reality as close as one can get the rape fantasy. Ravishment is the closest word because of its connotations of rapture, delight and ecstasy and it was this broad meaning I use in the original post. Many women enjoy this sexual interplay, and it’s a totally consensual thing.

It is unfortunate that the word “ravishment” is also a synonym for rape, a brutal power act, criminal in nature deserving of jail time.

Although not a legal definition, on some level both *want* the experience.