Imagine a Taken in Hand relationship. A relationship where the man leads without doubt and the woman follows without complaint. Imagine the perfect couple. But that would not be imagining, it would be fantasy. There are no perfect couples, there is no such thing as “without complaint”, no such thing as “without doubt”. If we are to imagine, we should imagine the struggle to create a couple, not the perfect one. If we do that, then we’ll be prepared to fight our way through the hard parts and achieve imperfect perfection.
So let’s imagine. First, you have to find a woman amenable to being taken in hand. I can’t claim to have the answers. But you have to test. Now, I don’t mean, toss her across your lap and give her a sound spanking. That’ll probably just spook her, no matter how much she longs to be taken. Even if she’s not offended, all it tells you is that she is into spanking. No, you have to use a bit of discretion.
Perhaps the comments will expand on this, but I’ve found that subtlety is best. Start with always looking after her. I believe they call it being a gentleman. Open doors, seeing her in and out of the car, calling to ensure she’s gotten home okay, things like that. I know what you're thinking: that’s normal, how does that test her? Well, we’re dealing with a real live person; it’s not what you do, but how she reacts. It’s likely she’ll resist overtly, protesting she can do for herself, but if you watch her, she could be self-conscious, embarrassed. This will betray her, revealing that these acts mean more to her than just kindness. That these small actions touch her beneath the surface. Notice I said watch her. It’s likely that she’ll not even be aware of her actions.
So now you know there’s something there. You escalate. You make incursions into her personal space. I’m not talking about kissing or petting. Sexual escalation is normal but our cause is more encompassing. Your incursions should be intimate but non-sexual. Lightly placing your hand on the small of her back or hip as you walk along. Withdraw it when she shrugs it off. She is just reacting to your invasion of her space. Wait a while then replace your hand. She will likely come to trust you and allow herself to be subjected to your touch. It is important that your touch be light. She should not feel you are controlling her, only that you could if you so chose. Slowly, you insinuate yourself until she grows comfortable with your presence. And, most importantly, she learns to trust your presence, your actions, your touch. Trust that no matter how confused or unsure she might become, and no matter how apprehensive of what is happening she might feel, she always knows she’s safe.
It’s the little things that matter. When you are with her, make her aware of your presence. When you hold her or kiss her, your actions should communicate that it is your right to hold or kiss her. Do not be tentative, do not seek permission, do not leave room for negotiation. She should always have a choice but not control. Her choice should be between surrendering or not. Like dancing together, she can choose to follow or stop dancing but she cannot lead. As this dance progresses, invite her to a new step but expect there to be a stumble. Simply return to the comfort zone for a few measures then try again. Repeat until your lead takes her effortlessly to a higher comfort zone.
Of course this is just imagination, in reality you have to be flexible to exploit opportunities and overcome adversities. There is also the reality that she may not wish to be taken in hand.
There are many articles here on being in a Taken In Hand relationship, especially for the woman. I would be interested in the thoughts of others as to how you capture her in the first place.