Unless there is some mitigating circumstance, women generally feel more comfortable with a man who will take charge. It is not a man's tyranny that hurts woman so much as his indifference. It is widespread, even epidemic, apathy and indifference that may be ripping into women's health today.
Nature abhors a vacuum. Yet, when women try to fill the vacuum created by a weak man, all sorts of problems emerge.
I tell men that, if they really are serious about wanting to spend the rest of their life with a woman, it perfectly normal to want to turn her over their knee at some point—and, if they want to live in relative peace with the woman, they had better act on their desire at some point.
A woman knows that the pain visited on her bottom is meaningful only if the man does it because he loves her. Otherwise, she will build a stone wall around her emotions. That is why I recommend that men turn women over their knee early in the relationship—before they get surprised.
For one thing, it gets the “he hit me” out of the way in a sane and safe fashion. It also sends a signal that, whatever professors told her in women's studies, she can be spanked and getting spanked is not a traumatizing experience that will ruin the rest of her life.
If the man is thorough in his task, he gets to see what a real witch the love of his life can be—and it gets that out of the way as well. Once all the unpleasantness is dispensed with, they can get down to the real job of building a relationship.
I agree with Friedrich Nietzsche.* Whether he uses it or not, women do need to know that the man has a whip. And sometimes, it is necessary to get beyond the polite and tasteful, and into the rape aspect of discipline.
For some women, it might begin with a woman threatening a man with a call to the police if he lays a hand on her. The battle royal might start when he physically hauls her into the bedroom. (The “Put me down this instant!” demand.)
Other women might go along with an unwanted spanking until it really begins to hurt—as when her husband transgresses from laying it on her bottom to thrashing the back of her thighs. Still another woman may suspect or know that her loss of composure is going to be overheard by others.
It does not matter at what point the resistance occurs. Even the reason does not matter much. It might be that she has told him that she will not tolerate a belt being used on her. Or it might be being turned over his knee like a child—so she cannot easily tighten her buns and which causes abdominal distress—that sets her off.
It might be that she is so frustrated about so many things over which she does not have any real control that she believes that her normally loving husband has turned into an unreasonable tyrant.
The particulars are not nearly as important as the predictable explosion. Figuratively speaking, her curses may blister the wallpaper! She may call her husband names that would shock her mother. She may throw a temper tantrum that would positively astound a spoiled-rotten two-year-old.
Men who can take control bring healing power to a woman's mind. A woman is not likely to engage in fantasy when she is with a strong man. Nor, from my observations, is she as likely to seek escape in novels or mind-altering substances.
Much the same methods that are used to tame a shrew can also be used to create a prostitute or a slave. The difference is in the words the man uses when the woman is at her most vulnerable. For good or for evil, given time, the woman eventually becomes what the man makes her.
The man who takes control of a woman does just that. When it comes time to smack a woman's bottom he chooses the time, place, position, instrument, rhythm, duration, and the like. By doing so, he creates a contradiction in that, while very little he does at the moment pleases her, everything he does is for her. In the end, both he and she must understand that he is in control. The ritual is a contest of wills in which he wins without doing her any permanent damage, and she respects him as a result.
For the man, it is a time-consuming endeavor—much like taking a second job, pursuing an demanding career, or catering to an expensive mistress—that turns a willful woman into an willing wife. That is why, for many men, it is easier to find another than to make the commitment that a woman really needs.
The man's effect on the woman will be like the cycles of malaria's chills and fever. Whether he caresses her lips or blisters her bottom, he will have her undivided attention. More importantly, she will have his. Her groans of erotic ecstasy will blur with her cries of fiery pain until even she will not be able to sort them out in her mind. They are all one in her mind.
That is why I believe that, when it comes time to face the music, many women prefer nudity. She knows whatever the man does, it will be because he loves her and she wants absolutely nothing to stand in the way of that experience! It is where sin and sensuality mingles with pain and penance to produce love and respect.
While I have little or no inclination to withhold a well-deserved spanking as punishment, I do believe that customary punishment should be administered at the man's discretion and should be little affected by the woman's machinations. In other words, she should not be allowed to dictate the time and place any more than to interfere with meddlesome hands or verbal combativeness.
In a curious way, the phallus and the rod (stick, cane, paddle, etc.) are much the same. Both are controlled by the man and are used on the woman. Both can bring a woman into subjection. The phallus with a child. The rod by denying her composure. Both deny the woman control over her life—which, of course, is why feminists object to women being subjected to either.
* “You go to a woman? Do not forget your whip.” Nietzsche: Thus Spake Zarathustra (XVIII: Old and Young Women)