Before I found this site my life was a mess. My first mistake was I wanted a man that would treat me good and I assumed that meant we'd be equal in the relationship, neither one of us in charge. I didn't feel like it would be good for me to let the guy control me. I rejected men that tried to take charge and kept finding I didn't like the ones that didn't want to wear the pants. When I found this site it was the right time for me to be open to a new idea.
Even after finding this site and waking up to the idea that I wanted to be with a guy that would be in control I still got used many times until I got it that the right man wouldn't be a selfish jerk that would expect me to mommy him and be the source of his personal gratification. I felt like hey, he wants to be in control, that's the guy for me......... except I kept getting Peter Pans that wanted a Wendy to mommy them. There's alot of dominant guys out there that are Peter Pans that think your purpose is to cater to their whims and ask nothing in return.
I kept reading this site and reading how men on this site put their wife first and cherish her feelings and I would wonder if men like that exist in the real world because all I met were the selfish jerks. I kept getting seduced by user losers then I would wonder where the guy had disappeared to. They'd got what they wanted and were on to the next woman, leaving me in pieces. I know some women can f--- like a guy but when a guy would have sex with me I would feel bad when he wouldn't want to see me again or if he wanted to be friends and have sex but not be in a relationship. This site and a book that was discussed here [was it Getting to" I do", by Patricia Allen?—Editor] helped me get it that if I wanted to get married I had to close my legs and take care of my feelings.
The more I read this site the more I got it: a good guy would take care of a woman's feelings and treat her like a princess as well as wearing the pants in the relationship. You don't have to settle for a selfish jerk to get a guy that will be in control. There are guys out there that both want to wear the pants and will treat you good.
Well.... now I'm married to a great guy that treats me like a princess! My guy tried to get his magic wand in on our second date but finally--FINALLY--I ignored my hormones and succeeded in keeping my legs closed. I made sure to tell him how I felt flattered he wanted me and that I wanted him but wanted to wait. I was so proud of myself and it worked. We dated and he proposed and we got married 16 months later. Since we got married we've made up for lost time--our sex life is the best ever. One thing I never knew before was how good sex can be when you're married. I'm having the best sex of my life now--and my husband says it's the same for him. We're so happy. My husband treats me sooooo good! THANK YOU TAKEN IN HAND!