I went to an all day seminar with my late husband back some years ago in which Dr. Glasser talked about his latest book and educated his audience about Choice Theory.
I loved the concepts so much that I did another four-day training. Basically, Choice Theory says that the only person whose behavior I can control is my own. I realized that I had been trying to control my husband for a long time. Once I worked on letting go of controlling his behavior and focused on my own, things got better between us.
We were not in a bad way before, but I noticed he was much more relaxed when I wasn't doing those annoying things I was doing before (which were most of the Seven Deadly Habits of External Control: criticizing, blaming, nagging, complaining, threatening, punishing, and rewarding/bribing to control). I didn't get it perfect, but I kept working at it.
I teach Choice Theory and incorporate it into the work that I do. It's not Taken in Hand per se, however, I think Choice Theory fits in nicely with this way of living a marriage. It's actually very freeing to stop trying to fix someone else and take care of improving your own behavior. Believe me, I have enough work to do on myself without trying to mold someone else.
Lately I have been recommending The Surrendered Wife to my clients and to my friends. Laura Doyle doesn't realize this, but her book, in my opinion, is what I've come to call "Choice Theory for Women."
So many of the people I work with just cannot understand why they cannot fix their spouses. The idea is outside of their range of experience. So many of them are women, but not all of them! Many of them grew up with a dominant mother, who subsequently divorced their father and remarried repeatedly.
I cannot give enough praise to Dr. Glasser. He is my hero and I know I had a happy marriage because of embracing Choice Theory. I also believe that I will have a happy marriage with my beau because of what I have learned. Choice Theory, plus my letting go and deciding I want to live a Taken in Hand marriage, has been so freeing for me!