I remember the early days of my relationship with Gary. He was so supportive. He loved everything about me, so he said. Yet on occasion he made simple suggestions about changes. On my clothes, my hair, makeup and other small but personal matters.
A part of me leaped at the chance to please. A little personality trait that comes out for certain people. Another part of me cringed. What if I didn't like that change? Who am I changing for? Is it a change or is it an improvement?
Yet, as I checked out his preferences, the feedback was always worth it. He adored it. He not so secretly told me how thrilled he was that I was doing it all for him. No woman had ever gone this far to please just him. Now didn't that warm my heart even more! Some of the changes I loved. Others were a nuisance. As I discovered the joy of changes, I also found out some were more trouble then they were worth. It took a bit of courage, add a little 'speak before you think' and I was telling Gary when I didn't like certain things. He surprised me time and again by reassuring me that he didn't intend me to be uncomfortable. Nor should I resent something or hate what I ended up with. He always relented with doing what pleased me the most.
Submission has ebbs and flows like most everything else we do. What surprises me with a regular pace is while I may submit, mask it with pleasing either him or even myself. The fact that he wants the act to make me happy first. He wants me comfortable with the look. Proud to be with him.
Our funny story with the “it comes back to bite you” ending: Gary suggested he would like to see me with longer hair. I wore it very short, cropped and gelled into little spikes. It suited me. I have thick heavy curly fuzzy hair. As it grew out, it was an unmanageable mess. The curls weren't those nice spiral ones, they were huge, fuzzy and didn't do me any kind of justice. I ended up slicking back as much as I could around my face and just letting the rest go wild. It hardly grew down, mostly just out. In my never ending whining to my stylist, he finally suggested to put a relaxer through. With permission I did. Then one of the other stylist blow dried me straight. Straight! I was hooked. So this is what hair looks like! Impossible to maintain on my own however. So I asked Gary if I could go back from time to time to have them blow dry. He agreed. Somehow that just gravitated to weekly. Now I don't even wash my own hair. I make a weekly appointment. Gary set up an account for me. I show up and do what I want. He goes in from time to time and clears the account. My hair no longer belongs to him. It's all mine! I love it. Thanks Gary. A case of submission gone good.