While the concept of the impossibly firm, always calm, high-dominance man in charge in a Taken In Hand relationship certainly sounds appealing, I can think of multiple reasons why it just can’t work, unless the man is some sort of super hero, and we all know they exist only in comic books and movies.
In reality we’re left with what can only be described as the real man, a fallible being who can’t possibly aspire to being a take-charge super hero.
Consider the following:
Real Men Have Needs
Cara Mia says she feels safe and cared for when lying in bed with my arms around her. The same doesn’t hold true for me (nor should it) but I have to admit there are days, when life has kicked my balls firmly up about my neck, that I feel the need to be cuddled by Cara Mia. (Is this considered ‘mommying’?) How could the husband in a Taken In Hand relationship possibly have this need? Isn't he a high-dominance take-charge super hero?
Real Men Aren’t Always Confident
This is personally the biggest monkey on my back: a temporary, but debilitating lack of confidence. I have to think this happens to everyone from time to time. Sometimes it’s just a matter of having a bad day at work that leaves you beaten, battered and bruised and in need of a recharge. Or, perhaps a long day with too little sleep the night before. Or…do we still have biorhythms? Perhaps you’re having a low biorhythm day.
How can the husband in a Taken In Hand relationship possibly lack confidence, even for a split second? Don't you need to be super-confident to be in charge in a marriage?
Real Men Need to Vent
While there are times when, say a co-worker, needs a good throttling, workplace ethics frown on this sort of thing and so you take your frustration home with you.
Last week I listened to Cara Mia vent for 45 minutes about what was bothering her, which mates are supposed to do for each other.
The very next day a situation at my job escalated and I seriously wanted to throttle two of my co-workers. As a real man, I needed a chance to vent my frustration, but I’m sure the impossibly firm, always calm, high-dominance man in charge in a Taken In Hand relationship would have just taken the situation in his stride. A super hero doesn't need to vent, right?
Real Men Apologize When They Are Wrong
OK, so this morning I was a bit of an ass. As a real man I will apologize to Cara Mia later today. But how could an alpha male super hero type apologize? Wouldn't that diminish his power and control? Or… could apologizing possibly make the husband in a Taken In Hand relationship somehow stronger?
Real Men Aren’t Afraid to Show Weakness
No anecdotes for this one, I’m just throwing it against the wall to see if it sticks.
Real Men Are Sometimes Jealous
No anecdote for this one either, just fishing a little.
Hopefully it’s obvious that I’m having a little fun here, but I would love to hear some feedback about how these issues fit in with being the take-charge husband in a Taken In Hand relationship.
With this in mind, I have a few questions:
1. Do any of these things diminish a man's perceived dominance level or otherwise make it difficult for him to be in charge in his marriage?
2. Do you have to deal with any of these issues?
3. If so, how do you cope with them?
4. What issues do you have to deal with that I haven't listed above?
Robin F. (with a penis)