Much of what a woman finds attractive in a Taken In Hand relationship is attention. I did not realize this myself until well into the process. My husband works very long hours in the corporate world, and in years past, I would have kept my loneliness to myself. Now I find that I am much more apt to say, “I'm not getting enough attention!” And my husband knows that “negative” attention (i.e., a spanking) is, as far as I am concerned, better than no attention.
This is not a threat on my part, but a willingness to be childlike and vulnerable. He is very apt under these circumstances to make more of an effort to give me “positive” attention. Often, at my request, that positive attention might include a light spanking, but not the harsher “punishment” that might result if my needs were not met and I subsequently began to act out in ways we've agreed are unhealthy for me.
Being able to be open and honest about my feelings is one of the greatest gifts of being in this kind of relationship.