Being able to be open and honest about my feelings

Much of what a woman finds attractive in a Taken In Hand relationship is attention. I did not realize this myself until well into the process. My husband works very long hours in the corporate world, and in years past, I would have kept my loneliness to myself. Now I find that I am much more apt to say, “I'm not getting enough attention!” And my husband knows that “negative” attention (i.e., a spanking) is, as far as I am concerned, better than no attention.

This is not a threat on my part, but a willingness to be childlike and vulnerable. He is very apt under these circumstances to make more of an effort to give me “positive” attention. Often, at my request, that positive attention might include a light spanking, but not the harsher “punishment” that might result if my needs were not met and I subsequently began to act out in ways we've agreed are unhealthy for me.

Being able to be open and honest about my feelings is one of the greatest gifts of being in this kind of relationship.


Take the Taken In Hand tour


I agree as a male

From the male point of view it is also immensely satisfying to get honesty and openness about feelings from his mate, as well as being able to be completely honest and open about his own feelings without much risk of politically correct knee-jerk reactions. The needs of one party is surprisingly often met by the needs of the other, if both are honest. This is an ongoing process for both parties, in my view, that must not be blocked and must be unblocked if there is danger of blockage. However, or also, both parties must realize that we are all made up of conflicting natures, some of which need satisfaction at various times. The Taken In Hand approach tends to defuse the blame-game dead-end state that can take over relationships in times of stress.