I told my husband about Taken In Hand awhile back. Then he started punishing me at least daily. I explained that for me Taken In Hand is not about punishment. Now he's got it into his head that it's about total submission and rituals in the bedroom and it's NOT. Can somebody PLEASE HELP ME explain it to him better?
Excuse me, but maybe explaining Taken in Hand is not what you should be considering. You need to first step back and question whether or not you are ready for a relationship that involves physical punishment. The Taken In Hand thing can be all of the wonderful things others say it is, but it can be physically and psychologically dangerous when one or more parties in the relationship are not ready for it. The words “daily punishments” send up all kinds of red flags for me. Don't go into this game until you've got your black belt in communication skills.
Has he demonstrated initiative to see how the new turn in the relationship is working for you? If not, maybe he's less ready for this than you are.
I believe that for those whose orientation leans in this direction, the Taken In Hand relationship can be fantastic. I do not believe, however, that everyone is ready for the high-octane charge that goes with corporal punishment. Women should never feel they are less than cherished. Remember: Barbie is the doll, Ken is just an accessory. There is an ocean of vanilla women out there that are, by contrast to a Taken in Hand partner, boring. You have no reason to assume that you have to endure an insensitive, cruel or dull-witted partner.
Best of luck
Have you seen the following articles?
Is there consent?
Abusive men: Hedda Nussbaum's list of red flags
Don't tell me to leave my baggage at the door
Is a Taken In Hand relationship for everyone?
Women want men who are more dominant
An iron hand in a velvet glove
An alpha female bares her throat only to her mate
Why would anyone want to be controlled by a man?
Who says you have to be submissive?