Are Taken In Hand wives suffering from Stockholm syndrome?
Stockholm syndrome refers to a kind of traumatic bonding in which a captive or victim of abuse develops positive feelings for, and identifies with, his or her captor or abuser. Battered wives are thought to exhibit Stockholm syndrome when they defend their abusive husbands.
Are the husbands in Taken In Hand relationships anything like those of battered wives? Are they like hostage takers? Is that why their wives love them so much?
No of course not.
In a Taken In Hand marriage, the husband puts his wife and their relationship first. How is that abusive? Far from being a victim in a traumatic situation, these wives feel like the luckiest women on the planet. The idea that this has anything in common with Stockholm syndrome or traumatic bonding or abuse of any kind is completely absurd.
There are marriages in which the husband is in control, and the wife is in a Stockholm syndrome like state, but of all such relationships Taken In Hand ones are the very least likely to cause Stockholm syndrome. You are more likely to find it in the muslim world and in other authoritarian cultures in which the value of individual female life is very low.
In the case of Stockholm syndrome, the victim does not seek captivity or abuse; the Stockholm syndrome is a victim's response to the trauma of that abuse or captivity. By contrast, you only have to read this website to see that there are thousands of women actively seeking a Taken In Hand relationship. They are not looking to be traumatised and victimised, they find the idea thrilling and fun.
Some victims of childhood abuse do seek relationships in later life that have some similarity to that they had with their abuser, and in some cases there is an unhealthy reliving of the abuse without any resolution or healing from the abuse, but that clearly is nothing to do with a Taken In Hand relationship. If anything, a Taken In Hand relationship is more likely to help abuse victims move beyond their past abuse and into a more healthy present and future, because the husband is a Taken In Hand relationship is precisely not abusive, and they can feel safe with their husband as well as getting the intensity that they may find lacking in an equal roommate-like relationship.
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