Taken In Hand relationships are wholehearted sexually-exclusive marriages in which the husband wears the trousers and is firmly in charge (to his wife's delight!)—and he always puts his wife and their relationship first. Putting her and the relationship first is the key to creating a marriage in which the man is in control in a good, healthy and sustainable way.
Taken In Hand is neither all about the man, as in some D/s relationships in which the man has control, nor is it all about the woman, as in some DD relationships—it is for both. Neither spouse is a self-absorbed narcissist.
The wives in Taken In Hand relationships tend not to claim to be submissive (though their husbands may well consider them to be so) but they do strongly prefer not to be the one in charge in their relationship, and they do respect, honour and appreciate their husbands and strive to please them.
The husbands in Taken In Hand relationships tend not to claim to be dominant (though their wives may well consider them to be so) but they do strongly prefer to be the one wearing the trousers in their marriage, and they do enjoy dominating and submitting their wife when necessary to maintain their position—and indeed for the pure fun of it.
Taken In Hand is about using the power of a white-hot sexual connection to create a rock-solid permanent bond between husband and wife. It is intended to be fun and sexy, not a duty or a burden. If you don't find the idea of Taken In Hand exciting or at least strangely attractive, it is not for you. Taken In Hand is not compulsory!
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What kind of relationship is this?
- It is wholehearted, fully committed, focused, faithfully sexually-exclusive and monogamous
- The man has the balance of power and control
- The man's control is thoroughly consensual and welcome
- The control is for the benefit of both individuals and for the relationship, as opposed to being abusive or purely self-serving
- It is dynamic and evolving, not a static or stereotypical relationship
- It is deeply connected and engaged and intimate
- The relationship empowers and nurtures the autonomy of both individuals, as opposed to diminishing the woman.
- It is freely chosen and wanted on an on-going basis, or it is not a Taken In Hand relationship.
What are the people like?
- Taken In Hand individuals are just that: individuals; they are not stereotypical
- The men—kind and caring, not self-serving narcissists, but firm too
- The women—strong and competent, not weak or wimpy doormat types, but not domineering misandrists either
- You and me—ordinary people—your neighbour, your sister, the chap you work with, your best friend
- The husband is more likely to think of himself as being in charge, wearing the pants, or as being a bit bossy, than to call himself “dominant”
- The wife is more likely to think of herself as just a normal fallible human being who loves her wonderful take-charge husband, than to call herself “submissive”
How does it feel?
- Taken In Hand feels liberating
- Taken In Hand feels natural and right
- A deep feeling of peacefulness
- Amazing communication
- Problems seem easier to solve
- Improved/intense sexual connection