First off I would like to say that this site has been quite the eyeopener. For years I searched among the bottom of the barrel bdsm sites with a lot of confusion. Now I feel I have found something that is purely me.
I have always been a leader. The guy that people go to for advice. The guy that people ask for help, cause they know it will be done. These qualities have been with me my entire life, but in my love life It's almost non-existent.
I admit to being very inexperienced in relationships. At 24 I have only had two. My first relationship really set me back. She was a very immature girl who wanted things I could not provide. When I left this relationship I had already done some serious damage to myself. I became a whipping boy lover who would rarely take a stand.
Women in my life have all varied. My grandmother was an abused woman who served a tyrant for 50 years. My mother was a very independent, strong and stubborn woman. And then there is my current ex.
In our relationship I was confused at the outset. As a man I always try to find a way to "Fix" things. In doing so I would try to please her in every way I could. Thus destroying myself and our relationship along with it. She actually showed me this site and it blew my mind. All this time I was focusing on what she wanted and not what I wanted. I know she would admit to have used this against me from time to time, but I forgive her :P.
At this stage in my life I'm rebuilding—becoming the man I want to be. I'm currently working on myself. Disciplining and learning more about myself.
I'd like to ask the users here if they have any similar stories. Any feedback would be much appreciated.
Have you seen the following articles?
Don't forget your whip
Practical hints for men—handling a strong woman
What if it doesn't come naturally?
Men taking responsibility
My Review of Laura Doyle's "The Surrendered Wife"
How Taken in Hand has transformed my wife
When a man takes charge, his wife no longer rejects him sexually
Don't be an "if only" person
A man with a backbone can be very soothing