It is now over a year since our household had a change of management. Initially we rushed impatiently into changes, which we then had to modify. We started with so many rules, many instigated by me, but then gradually my husband took control of the things that genuinely mattered to him. I am by nature very impatient and I wanted to feel his control in every area immediately. This may be one reason why he makes a better head of our household than I do!
At the start I obsessed a bit about him spanking me. I wanted that to be a part of our Taken In Hand relationship, and I felt that he wasn’t doing it enough. I did a certain amount of bratting and sulking, I think. As my husband gradually gained in confidence in what he was doing, he started controlling things in his way. He does spank me when he thinks it’s appropriate or he controls me in other ways but I’ve gone past feeling that spanking is of central importance. Accepting that it is not my choice has made me much more relaxed and is helping me to become less controlling.
The other thing about spanking is that, as a grown woman, I feel vaguely ridiculous in the position of a spankee! Feeling ridiculous though, I have found, is a really good way to take the heat out of a situation; it is hard to continue arguing in that position for one thing. For my husband it is important for him to see that I want to be controlled by him and I think for both of us it plants the idea of making love rather than bickering. Being spanked also has a calming effect on me and I find it very reassuring because I know that my husband is absolutely focused on me. It’s not as if I thought he would go off with someone else, but it seems to me that a man who is able to express his annoyance is far less likely to end up in a bar complaining that his wife doesn’t understand him! By the time he has spanked me, yep, I understand him!
I can appreciate why some people would be appalled that I would let my husband spank me or that I would want my husband to be the head of our household. After a year of being Taken in Hand I know that, for us, this is much better than the power struggle that we had before.
I always knew I didn’t really want to be in charge but I come from a family of women who demand equality and on the face of it Taken In Hand may seem like the antithesis of equality. In reality I know that I am the centre of my husband’s world now, and he feels empowered to make decisions which he feels will benefit us as a unit. He makes the final decisions but I’m his inspiration and his muse! I’m proud that I am strong enough as a person to go against the trend and be true to who I am, not who society currently expects me to be. Fashions pass and couples need to find their own ways of being together.
Listening to my husband much more has revealed something to me. He has an annoying tendency to nearly always be right! He’s always said to me that he’s always right but I never really believed him. I am a very emotional person and, especially when I have PMT, do make emotionally-led decisions. My husband, however, is much more balanced and life is much smoother since he took charge.
I wondered at the outset if we would sustain our Taken in Hand relationship. It has changed over the year and continues to do so. I continue to find it very erotic to obey my husband and support him in his decisions. I don’t think it is his God-given right to be in charge but I think he has proved his suitability for this role in our household.
I don’t think we were facing imminent divorce when we started this but I do think that we are more happily married than we were a year ago.