A smile man
Someone the other day asked me “what catches your eye about a woman?” Judging by my company, a divorced broker in his mid-fifties, I knew the question was something along the lines of “what part of the female anatomy is most interesting to you.” I thought for a moment and answered “a smile.” He looked at me, puzzled, and then rephrased the question. “OK” are you a “T” man or an “A” man?” I looked at him again and answered “I'm a “smile” man.” Without sounding like a hypocritical liar who tries to feign some false example of chivalry with the old “looks don't matter” mantra, a smile on a woman goes a long way for me.
Happy people, male or female, smile when content. And some women are honest enough to admit that they like a man who is in control. Well, I'm not “controlling” but I do demand order and without someone being the final say in a home, there is no direction, no authority... no large, loving and slightly scary male to keep the rest of the family from going at one another. So, if a woman wanted me in charge, if she wanted me to enforce that authority physically, if that would make her happy and content, I would be that man. If that would give her a smile, it would be my honor to spank her from time to time... whenever she needed it.
A happy, content, secure woman in love always looks good in a smile... and nothing else whenever possible...
Comments
Perfect
Submitted by a Taken In Hand reader on
So perfectly said, EJ. My man always says that a warm, friendly smile is something he looks forward to.
Smitten
A woman's smile
Submitted by Lauren on
A woman's smile is one of the most important physical attributes to my partner. He's a scientist and an atheist so I recently asked him if he believed that anything of us survived after death. He said the thing of mine to survive after death would be my smile. He says I have no idea how much pleasure he continually derives from it.
It's true.
Submitted by a Taken In Hand reader on
As a man I do love to see when a womans smiles; from her eyes you can see she is just a little drunk in admiration . That's what makes my world go round.
Why would a man want to be with a woman who would be made unhapp
Submitted by Louise C on
The author of this article says he wants to be with a woman who would be made happy by his dominance, and that seems quite reasonable to me. Why would a man want to be with a woman who would be made unhappy by it?
Louise
because he is a dominant man
Submitted by RichM on
On June 26, louise asked:
Why would a man want to be with a woman who would be made unhappy by it? (it is 'his dominance')
Well louise, according to some posters, a man who is 'created' dominant can't help but be dominant. So a created man would not care if a woman is happy or if she is not.
He's just gotta do what a created man's gotta do.
evolutionarily,
RichM
That doesn't follow
Submitted by The Boss on
If a man is naturally dominant, it doesn't follow that he won't care whether his wife is happy with him as he is, Rich. A naturally-dominant man might well care very much that his wife be happy. He might take a lot of trouble to find a woman with whom he is compatible.
the boss wrote:
Submitted by Lauren on
the boss wrote:
"If a man is naturally dominant, it doesn't follow that he won't care whether his wife is happy with him as he is. A naturally-dominant man might well care very much that his wife be happy. He might take a lot of trouble to find a woman with whom he is compatible."
This was the case with my partner. He took a great deal of care in finding someone who was compatible. For my part I'm astonished at the degree of compatibility between us. One of his highest priorities is to make me happy. He also likes to be in control in our relationship and I believe he could not have a relationship where he was not the dominant party. The fact is, his being in control makes me very happy.
He doesn't care?
Submitted by Louise C on
Well, a man may have naturally dominant tendencies, but if he doesn't care whether the woman he is with is happy or not, then all the dominance in the world won't make up for that, in my opinion.
Louise
Not “because he is a dominant man”
Submitted by a Taken In Hand reader on
RichM seems to think that being dominant is the same as lacking self-control, kindness and empathy.
Being naturally dominant just means that a man has the natural capacity to bend a woman to his will. Power is not equivalent to callousness or indifference.
Being dominant and in complete control is very compatible with adoring and worshipping your woman.
As he said, “a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” What one does is enabled by one’s strength, but it is determined by one’s character. It is a weak man who “would not care if a woman is happy or if she is not.”
He seems to be confusing being a bully with being strong.
It is NOT OK!
Submitted by Stephen on
"according to some posters, a man who is 'created' dominant can't help but be dominant. So a created man would not care if a woman is happy or if she is not.
He's just gotta do what a created man's gotta do"
From what you wrote I could not tell if you thought this was OK. It is NOT OK for a dominant male, or any other kind of male, not to care if his woman is happy. Like other personality traits, being dominant is neither good nor bad, it just is. However, if a male uses his dominance without any concern for the well being of the woman he is with, then this simply makes him a dominant jerk. It is what a male does with his "gifts" that makes him a man. A male who would behave in such a callous way toward the woman he is with is not worthy of being called a man.
Uncaring dominant men
Submitted by M- on
Stephen, I agree with your comment! Men who are dominant and couldn't care less what their wife thinks are dominant idiots. I have found that these types of men can be annoying and even dangerous... as they don't often think before acting...
M-
Well said.
Submitted by Kathy G on
This article was well said EJ and I like your attitude on things. Bravo to you stating that if your wife wanted this and it made her smile you would be happy to do that.
Hera, what is wrong with being with someone who would do something as important as Taken In Hand to make their S/O happy? That is a man in control if you ask me. If a man is not naturally dominant and does so for the person he loves then he IS in control of things I think. He's taking control of the situation to bring happiness and harmony to their lives.
I live in a relationship like this. We are far from perfect at it but everytime my husband takes me in hand so to speak the fact that he's doing this FOR me endears him to me more and it makes me WANT to submit. I think when that happens it's a wonderful thing.
Kathy G
Created vs Natural Dominance
Submitted by a Taken In Hand reader on
There is nothing wrong with 'created' dominance. It may be enough for some women. But the woman will always know that it is being written kind of like a stage play and could fade at any time. If a man is naturally dominant, even if he didn’t fully realize it at first because he had been suppressing it, then being in control is a permanent part of him. Even if he is sometimes too exhausted or dealing with too many things to be as in control as she wants, she knows that the control will always return in full force because it is basic to how he relates to her.
We all create who we want to be
Submitted by Kathy G on
I think to a certain extent we all create who we want to be. There is nothing wrong with that.
When it comes to dominance I think to some extent all men have that inherent in them just like being submissive is in a woman. We stray from those roles whether as a child or even an adult because of upbringing or culture or situations that occur in one's life.
Changing the person you are to please someone else is not a hard thing when something is inherent. I can only speak for my situation but today after a thorough spanking for a misdeed I told my husband that I thought he took to this very easily, his response was "it seems to come easily to me." So is he naturally dominant? Maybe but I know he does this to please me and we both feel it's real and not role playing or like a skit. I have faith that he won't tire out especially when he is reaping the benefits of a happier and more united marriage.
Kathy G
A smile man too...
Submitted by Cody on
I really liked this post… ”A smile man”
My husband is a smile man too.
A few years ago we went through (yet another) rough time in our marriage. I wanted to get us both to remember why we fell in love in the first place, and I asked him what he first noticed about me.
Having a butt that would make J-Lo envy (at least when it comes to size… ha ha) and a couple of other body-parts that would make Pam Anderson even more envy, I figured it would be either the one or the other. But he didn’t even think about it for a second. He just smiled at me and told me with so much tenderness in his eyes it made me melt right there on the spot: “It was your smile. You have the most beautiful smile in the whole world. But it wasn’t your mouth or your lips that caught my attention. It was your eyes. I had never before seen a girl smile with her eyes the way you did. One look into your eyes and I was hooked”.
Since that little talk, I have tried to let him see me smile more frequently… I long for him to get back into that “hooked-mode”