A question of commitment - will he be there when she needs him?

I come from a very different generation – one where commitment counted and a sense of duty was expected.

On the field of play, one remained committed to one's teammates regardless of win or loss. On, over, or even under the battlefield, one remained loyal to one's comrades regardless of personal cost.

Consequently, I carried the same level of commitment into marriage. Faithfulness was an expectation – as was dedication to the children that one fathered.

To use a woman and to assume no responsibility for her future welfare is the height of cowardice. It is the equivalent from fleeing in the heat of battle. Real men do not do it. They would rather die first.

It is only to such a man that a woman will pledge her obedience and willingly accept his disciplining hand.

Heroes in a woman's eyes come in all shapes and sizes. The one question for which a woman must have an answer is: Will he be there when she needs him? A woman unwilling to ask this question is not worth having.

Although the grass may seem greener on the other side of the fence, the problems remain very much the same. There are no perfect women in this world. Neither are there perfect men.

Throughout the history of mankind, the only men and women worth having have been those with the will to do that which is necessary to make their relationship together work. That is marriage. All else is a sham.

Noone

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2008 May 5 - 22:28 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

I read your article with inte

I read your article with interest, as I myself have told my daughters that when meeting men they should ask themselves: will he be there for me longterm? My wife and I have been happily married for 23 years and neither of us would ever be unfaithful to the other. We weren't virgins when we married but neither my wife nor I had sexual relations with multiple partners before we met like many do today. It is a curious fact that some men of my acquaintance who have chosen a different path and who have multiple sexual partners appear not to gain as much enjoyment from their sex lives as I and my wife do from ours.

Bill W.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2008 May 5 - 23:28 | reply to this comment

What a Wonderful Question

This is a wonderful question and I can proudly say 'YES' whereas I know a lot of my other friends couldn't. My husband hasn't done one single one of those bad things you mentioned – he HAS assumed responsibility for my future (helping me tremendously throughout my 5 years of university studies), is ALWAYS there when I need him, and is a real hero always there to give me the right advice when I need it.

by lilelephanteli on 2008 May 6 - 13:50 | reply to this comment

An interesting conversion

I find very interesting this Noone's quotation

A woman unwilling to ask this question is not worth having.

This meens that too-submissive women who do want not to need anything are not worth having.

Hali

by HaliH on 2008 May 6 - 18:12 | reply to this comment

Last of the Dinosaurs

My husband and I come from a time when commitment meant everything. After nearly 34 years of marriage, 4 children and so far one very young grandson and many experiences in all of theses arenas we remain true to one another.
So many times people have commented about our marriage such as "34 years? Wow! you don't hear that anymore."
My husband likes to refer to us as "The Last of the Dinosaurs".

Last year I sustained a serious injury and my husband has been there every step of the way. He encourages me to move on with my life and has been there at every important doctor visit. He makes sure I eat, get to every appointment and loves me so unconditionally that he takes my breath away.

No real physical discipline for a while due to the situation I encountered with my health but when I need to hear somethng he makes sure I hear it.

I am truly blessed to have this wonderful man in my life.
Life has been an interesting journey and having my husband to trust and to have in charge has been a loving experience.

Commitment isn't just for the good times and the smooth road: it really comes into play when life isn't fun, isn't easy and is a painful journey. Let's face it -- life just is not a piece of cake all of the time and neither is marriage -- it takes LOVE, COMMITMENT and WORK. I recall being engaged and doing all of the wedding stuff and knew I was in love but didn't really think about what marriage really meant. I just knew without a doubt we would stay true to one another and we have.

Marriage has taught us many lessons and through it all we remain in love with each other with a strong commitment and no matter what comes our way we walk it out together.

My husband always tells me that I am the air that he breathes and for me he is the air that I breathe.

Life is good it just doesn't get better than that.

by Kat on 2008 May 7 - 22:01 | reply to this comment

Who needs a doormat?

Who needs a doormat?
--
erwinh-at-myskoda.de

by Erwin on 2008 May 10 - 14:15 | reply to this comment

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