A mysterious compulsion to obey

If I don't do what my husband tells me, I will get spanked. Now I don't find this an unpleasant prospect at all, so why it should make me more obedient I don't really know, I only know that it does.

And although I do feel that his authority is real, in the sense that I feel a compulsion to obey him even though I know I don't really have to, it can't feel the same as it does to a woman who lives in a society where women are compelled by law and by society to obey their husbands, or else.

Of course, the threat of unpleasant consequences is not the only thing that makes people respect authority. Most employees do what their boss wants because they want to get on in their job, not because they're afraid of getting sacked. I get my children to school because I know they need to get an education, not because I know I could end up in the nick if I don't.

I don't obey my husband because he will spank me if I don't, but because I feel that mysterious compulsion to obey him when he speaks to me in a certain tone of voice. It is real, and yet it is pleasurable, which is not the case with all forms of obedience. I don't resent his authority the way I might do if it was thrust upon me whether I liked it or not.

Louise C

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I respond in a similar way. There's something about his tone of voice. Probably what's called the 'command tone' on some other websites. It's interesting what a tone of voice can convey. In his case whilst issuing an instruction his tone conveys 'obey or else'. It communicates that he won't accept any opposition and that if any's forthcoming he's willing to take stronger measures to ensure compliance. All that in a tone of voice!

For my part I find myself jumping to obey when I hear it. It seems automatic and I can only imagine I've become conditioned. And yes, it's very pleasurable.

Aren't people in the services trained to obey orders in a similar way?

Of course, he only speaks this way when he considers he has reason. He's not barking orders the whole time!

In the services

Well, I'm not sure about the sevices: they tend to do a lot of shouting when they're issuing orders, don't they? (at any rate they always do in films). My husband used to do a lot of shouting in pre-Taken In Hand days, but it never got him anywhere, it just tended to make me less, rather than more likely to obey him.


Louise, I have only been read

Louise, I have only been reading this site for a couple of months and am going backwards chronologically. It is quite gratifying and amusing (not at your expense) to read this when i have just read comments you made a couple of years ago on the same subject. A relationship is a growing, fluid thing. I'm happy for you that yours is moving in a positive direction.

Going backwards

I can't really remember what I said a couple of years ago on the same subject. What did I say?


A Voice from the Past

Back in October of 2005, I addressed the effect of phonation in What is the alpha male's secret? At that time I wrote: "The [particular primal] The resonance explains why some husbands can use that certain tone of voice and accomplish things through verbalization that other men cannot even though they raise the decibel level."

Just a little reminder

Louise, a couple of years ago I wrote that I get spanked if I don't do what my husband tells me to do and you wrote that this is not the case at all in your relationship, that it only happens for sexual reasons.

Sexual reasons

Yes, that's true, it used to be purely sexual, but I never found it entirely satisfying. Spanking me for punishment was something I suggested, very tentatively, when we started Taken In Hand, and I had no idea whether my husband would like it or not (or whether I would, for that matter). He took ot it with great enthusiasm though. However, I found that this made it more sexual, rather than less, for me, since I find the punishment element a big turn-on.

I was rather disturbed by this at first, since it seemed wrong that I was getting so turned-on by the fact that I had done something that really annoyed my husband, but then I just came to terms with it, it's not the fact that i've annoyed him, but his way of dealing with the annoyance, that makes it satisfying for me. And for him as well. As he has observed,it makes it much easier for him to keep his temper with me when he knows he can "take it out on your bottom" as he puts it.

I remember the first time he spanked when he was really angry with me about something it was quite a shock to my system "Oh god, this isn't a fantasy, this is real" I thought, it was jolly painful as well. However, ultimately I realised this made it more of a turn-on rather than less, the "non-erotic punishment spanking" that I had heard so much about was never going to happen to me, because the more it feels like real punishment to me, the more erotic I find it, not during, but afterwards.

The less sexual it is at the time, the more sexual the feelings I have about it afterwards. Purely sexual or 'fun' spankings don't really do anything for me any more, the punishment aspect is what makes them thrilling.