I had a marriage in which my husband, the poor man, tried very hard to make me happy. This meant he grew increasingly frustrated as all his attempts to figure out what I wanted and then give it to me made him progressively crazier and more resentful.
When he stood up to me, though, he was so angry he was scary. What I wanted was for him to take charge, without bending over backwards, without getting so angry his face was red, without throwing things. That kind of aggression is not the control Taken In Hand implies; it's abusive.
It's the calm control, over himself and his woman, that makes a Taken In Hand man attractive. Without that self-control, no woman will ever respect any man, I don't care how physically attractive he is, how wealthy, how important. It's the self-control that is deeply impressive. A man who can, calmly and efficiently, do what is required in the moment, to keep potentially stressful interactions from affecting him to the point of irrationality is the man I respect.
I don't need a man to cater to me, pamper me, tell me I'm wonderful all the time, shower me with roses, or lie down like a doormat and let me do anything I want. I do need a man to tell me enough is enough, and we've had quite enough of that. Cheerfully, sometimes. Gruffly other times. Just so you know who is in charge. Because, for me, someone has to be, and I don't want that responsibility. Not in the home, no.